


A Pretty Girl is like a Melody

by ConflictedParadox88



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Acknowledgement of bodily functions, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apologies for very slow burn, Architect Ben Solo, Architect Rey, Autism Spectrum, Awkward Nerds learn to love, BB-8 Ships It, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Chewie ships it, Corporate drama, Depression, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Dry Humping, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Freeform, I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine, I'm afraid to write Smut but I love Smut, In which the dark is mental illness, In which the light is actually therapy, Is architecture actually applicable to everything?, Love is not a feeling but a choice, Luke Ships It, Marriage?, Masturbation, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Non-con but not between Reylo, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, PLEASE READ TAGS, Pleasure during period, Rey Needs A Hug, Skywalker Family Drama, Slow Burn, Smut, Social Anxiety, Soft Ben Solo, Sorry I may have been insensitive, Straightforward, Suicidal Thoughts, The Force Ships It, They love each other so much, This turned out to become so Fluffy, Trauma, Two less lonely people in the world, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Very Resolved Sexual Tension, Very Soft Ben Solo, architecture, courtship?, fluffy fluff fluff, non con, sexual assault on a minor, very slow burn, you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 09:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 56,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22493542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConflictedParadox88/pseuds/ConflictedParadox88
Summary: Architect Ben Solo is taking over his mother's global architectural practice.  He travels to the Philippines to finalize the details of acquisition in the local firm his Uncle Luke has built ground up.  Will he go through the rhythms of corporate architecture or will he find something more interesting along the way?My love letter to Helen Hoang Romance Novels (The Kiss Quotient, the Bride Test), Turtles All the Way Down (John Green),  Architecture, my job, and our family business encased in the setting of Love in the Star Wars movies.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 23
Kudos: 16





	1. Prelude: a musical composition, usually brief, that is generally played as an introduction to another, larger musical piece.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am in no manner or form an intellectual when it comes to Star Wars Canon. I have only watched all the movies twice since Force Awakens came out. If you have any suggestion, comments or corrections with regards to the accuracy of my characterizations, please do not hesitate to comment below. I will be moderating though, and I welcome constructive criticism. Please be gentle with me.
> 
> This is my first attempt of writing fanfiction for any fandom. I am a Dramione reader and a Reylo reader, and will be open to your suggestions as well. I thank the community for having so many content to consume. I've been using fanfic as a means to cope with personal mental illnesses and the ending of The Rise of Skywalker. Please see the notes for any references I use regarding Filipino culture. If any inconsistencies arise, please do correct me. I am proudly Filipino, but I'll do my best to write Rey and Ben as faithfully as possible.

The airport was packed. People rushing and bumping about. No one falling in line. Security having to pry people apart to make way for those getting their bags. Customs an hour long. Limited to no accessibility for the disabled or the elderly.

_What is this place?_

Finally, he made it out to the greeter’s area. Searching the crowd for the welcoming committee his company has hired for the day, he found a slight woman in corporate attire holding the signboard.

"Atelier KYLO REN"

He made his way to her, and she proffered a hand for him to shake.

"Welcome to the Philippines, Architect Solo. I'm Belle, and I will be your local guide. Here, my card."

All business and no pleasure, he assumed. He took the card and shook hands with their firm grips.

"Our ride will be here any moment. I trust that you found our airport to be quite busy this time of year."

He merely nodded, while he absorbed the surroundings. The cacophony of the traffic jam, the density of the people chattering about, people calling on their phones, taking photos and whatnot is a lot to take in.

_Culture and architecture really do coincide._

He wonders why there are so many people coming up to just one person, and what that man with two carts of huge boxes is doing. Clearly the airport wasn't designed for this.

The waiting area was only a mere 6 feet. If people would have an average of 6 people picking one person up and with an inordinate amount of luggage how many cars does one need to bring all of that home plus the people? Are people even allowed to sit in the back of a pickup too? Can seven people fit? Why in the world are there so many people (who aren't even travelers) here? Aren't there policies against crowd con--

"Sir?" A tap on the shoulder jolted him awake. Unsolicited touches makes him squirm.

"Yes. Shall we go?" Ben gestured to the black Lexus waiting for them. He opened the door for her, and he slid in next. He rubbed the shoulder she tapped, and tried to make that odd feeling go away.

"Manong, diretso po tayo sa opisina." (Filipino:Sir, let's go straight to the office.)

He looked at her in confusion, and understood that perhaps they were going to office as planned.

"Here sir. When you requested for a sandwich, I took the liberty in choosing something from Subway. They do an excellent roast beef. No onions. just lettuce. No dressing."

"Thank you."

He ate in silence, and thanked her for the coffee when she gave it to him. It was still warm, and he was feeling awake just from the smell.

The traffic back to Makati CBD was horrendous. Being the last week of October with the incoming holidays made the traffic twice as bad. Belle kept apologizing to him, and even brought out a book and the company portfolio so he can read, if he wanted to.

He laid both on his lap, and opened his phone. Emails pinging. Notifications.

-Ben, did you land safely? Be respectful to that family. We've been working with them for years. Don't mess it up. Send me their decisions once they've been discussed. Try to enjoy the vacation as well. It's been so long since you've been out of the country.-

-Bud, no terrorists right?-

-they say the Philippines have hot girls. Care to bring one home for me? ;)-

Mother. Father. Hux.

-yes mother. I'm still alive. I will try my best. I'll see you soon.-

-yes dad. So far, there is no war.-

-come here yourself. I'm not your errand boy.-

Sent. Sent. Sent.

Belle fell asleep as the traffic jam seems to worsen. She still has the clipboard on her lap, and her face was scrunched up as the afternoon sun poured out from the window. Black hair. Black suit. Black rimmed glasses. Brown toned skin. She looked like the standard entourage for visualizations.

Classical music was playing in the background. He observed the surroundings. Hotels densely packed in front of the airport. A glass bridge above the highway. A church next to a casino in a hideous orange color.

Toyotas. Toyotas. Toyotas.

This is a highway? The cars aren't even going above 40mph.

He tapped his fingers in the book. Playing along to the piano sonatas heard in the background. He gives up.

He opens the company portfolio and review who he will be working with.

Luke Skywalker was his uncle. He left for the Philippines when Ben was a baby, but he couldn't settle. He opened up an architecture studio promising young architects to be educated in the ways of the USA. He got a local architect named Charlie Williams to do business with him, and they have worked together for 30 years, and the men are still alive. They're getting old, but have yet to choose a successor. They have partners, the young and the ambitious, but they need advice on who to choose.

Two of the partners are twins, Williams' daughters. Another is an old man, who specializes in efficiency data for the company. The last is a neophyte. The previous partner resigning upon opening up that he needed to go back to his family in the provinces. The neophyte was his favorite project architect.

4 contenders with 4 studios. Each studio brings a different element to each design.

The caffeine takes effect, and his hand starts to shake.

Restlessness.

Anxiety.

Acidity.

"Excuse me, Belle. Do you happen to have some water?" Rousing Belle up, she gaped her eyes in embarrassment, and took the bottle out of the bag at her feet. She passed it to him.

"I'm sorry Sir. It won't happen again."

He nodded and thanked her quietly for the drink. He reached for his med pack at his coat pocket, and drank an antacid.

He looked out the window, and he can see the Makati Skyline that the Philippines boasts about.

Skyscrapers abound. Kenzo Tange. SOM. High rise residential buildings. All cream. Or blue. Glass boxes.

_I am here in a car. I am sitting beside a small lady, and old man is driving. I am looking outside the window, and I see the Makati central business district. I am nervous. I am panicking. Deep breat_ _h in_ _. One. Two. Three._ _Four. Breathe Out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Breathe In. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Breathe Out._

He closed his eyes and focused on breathing. He can feel Belle shifting positions and tapping her foot to the music.

He clasped his hands together and massaged his palm. Writing the Chinese word for person again and again.

The car lurched towards a porte cochere, and he found himself in gray lobby.

"We're here sir. Welcome to UNO."

Belle gathered the trash into a bag, and instructed the driver to dispose of it. She opened the door for him, and he wore his coat while Belle checked in at the guard station.

She led him to a small elevator. Cramped, but fortunately, only two of them were on-board.

The doors opened to an all white lobby. Glass doors leading to a reception with a wide atrium. Back painted glass, white marble, and white chairs adorn the the seating area.

"Welcome Architect Solo. Architect Williams will see you at the conference room to the left. He's just finishing up his meeting upstairs, and will be with you shortly."

"Won't Skywalker be joining us?"

"I'm afraid Engineer Skywalker is out of the office at the moment. He will be meeting with you for dinner as he informed me."

Another quiet nod.

"Coffee? Or perhaps tea?"

"Just water."

Belle led him to the conference room, and left to get him some water and snacks.

The conference room was darkness. It was covered in grey carpets. The walls painted black and adorned with whiteboards and a television monitor located on the right. Ergonomic chairs for twelve people spread about. The company's most recent projects can be seen flashing across the screen. He sat down near the exit, to the right of the head of the table.

He tapped his fingers on the glass table, and heard Chopin's Nocturne. Easy graceful notes, filled with sadness, and a promise of peace. Dark as night. Hope comes in the morning.

A rush of air woke him from his revelry, a man with a diminutive figure walked slowly to him with a warm smile.

"BEN! Good to see you! Good to see you! You've grown so much! How is Leia and Han?"

"They've finalized their divorce, but they're still amicable. Mother is at home base, but Pops is back at the shops."

"I see. Well, divorce isn't legal here. You're adjusting?"

"Uncle Charlie, I'm no longer thirteen. It was inevitable. I'm disappointed they waited so long. They could have saved themselves from a lot of grief."

Williams gestured for them to sit, while he sat at the head of the table.

"They still love each other Ben. They just need their freedom a bit. Being married is difficult business.

"Speaking of business. Let's get right to it. How long will you be staying?"

"Long enough to get the acquisition going. I plan to go back in the Summer of next year."

"Almost a year then. You won't be going home for the holidays? I'll be flying up there after the Christmas celebrations here."

"No. I think mom will be going back to her roots. She says she needs some time to herself. Dad is doing his cross country thing. Trying to map out good suppliers for the next year."

"You're welcome to celebrate with my family. We'll be delighted to have you."

"Sure."

_These people really can't tell between public and private things. I guess it is a family business._ _How does it look like to a man who’ve known me for--_

"We're a family here Ben. Even my colleagues and partners are my family. Don't be shy to stay with us."

A silent nod. His head is reeling with the possibilities of making excuses.

"Okay. Back to the task at hand. Your mom is finally retiring correct? You'll be handling the firm now, and you re-branded R Design studios."

"Yes. Atelier KYLO REN not only aims to aid those with positions of power but also those who are rising to power. We now cater to more tastes, and we plan to have an office for every region. For now, we have offices in the USA, Brazil, and the UK. We plan to partner with your company to gain access to the Asian Market."

"Well, we do have projects all over Southeast Asia and the Middle East. That's good Ben. You're really shaping up to be someone great. We're proud of you." He smiled warmly, and remembered how he used to smile when he called him Chewie. His beard used to be a light brown, and he always had a packet of gum with him.

"Thank you. That means a lot." A moment of vulnerability.

"You'll be helping me choose my successor Ben. Luke and I aren't who we used to be. My friends noticed I'm getting repetitive. It will be difficult but I'm open to the process, so the turnover would be smooth. I called them up, and they'll be here shortly."

A knock on the glass with a smile on her face. Almost identical twins stared back at him.

Mephalda and Miriam. Mischievous smirks as always. Though being 5 years their senior, he never really got the respect he deserved.

"Benny!!!" The twins squee at him, and they gave him punches on the funny bone at the same time.

"We're so happy to see you! It's been so long. I didn't know it would go so fast! Dad here has been over at the US more than us, and we missed you!" Mephalda’s high pitched voice invaded his brain.

"Yes. We're elated. So... How do we get on your good side?" Miriam raised her eyebrows twice.

Miriam was always the more ambitious one. Though seemingly happy-go-lucky, the supposed younger of the twins was a force to be reckoned with. She brought more projects with her vibrancy and uniqueness than her elder twin could ever bring. She was a strong candidate.

While the twins twittered about while making their way to the left side of their dad, an elder man came hobbling through.

Snoke.

He still appeared as he was 10 years prior when he came to visit after his undergrads. A bit greyer, a bit darker, and thinner, the tall man made way to sit beside the twins.

He extended an arm to Ben, and said, "Architect Solo. How do you do?"

His gravelly voice always made him unnerved, and his calculating eyes sweeping him from head to toe. He maybe 10 years younger than his father, but he aged more than his father ever did.

"I'm fine, Sir. I hope you are well." He focused on the space between his eyes to appear sincere. Three seconds. Then look away.

The voice of his mother crept into his brain _"_ _E_ _ye contact child. Firmer grip once you shake hands. Do not betray you weaknesses to your colleagues."_

The thoughts of the glass box remained and he felt a constricting muscle near his heart.

_Breathe in. Breathe out. They're here to be judged and you will be judging them._

"Sir, your water." Belle's tinkling voice came to serve them all.

He gratefully gulped some water to aid with his breathing.

"Has Belle been helping you out?"

"Yes. So far she's proven herself indispensable." She's managed to distract him from the thoughts that were bombarding him, so that's that.

"Good. Your living arrangements were set upstairs. I believe most of your belongings have arrived already. Do visit us. We're just at the floor above you. The Missus wishes you taste her cooking."

He focused on Charlie, and he tried to anchor himself to the present. No use trying to dwell on the memories.

A rush of air and a knock on the glass brought their attention to the lady in the billowing blouse and skirt.

"You called me, Architect?"

Charlie swivelled towards her and smiled, "Come in Rey dear. Ben, this is Rey Jacinto. She's a new partner, greatly praised by Obet Kenobi."

She lifted her hand slowly for him to shake, "I'm Rey. Pleasure to meet you."

Her accent shifting from the comforting Filipino-English accent to full on Received Pronunciation.

"Likewise." He held her hand, and got shocked. Quite literally.

"Sorry! I think I've been running around too much in synthetic fabrics. The carpet is not helping either. Are you alright?"

"Startled. But I'll survive." He laughed in spite of his nervousness.

"Oh, thank goodness. I couldn't possibly imagine what would be done with me, if I had electrocuted you in my first try." She smiled warmly but said it in a sweet manner.

"Rey dear, sit beside Ben." Williams gestured.

She gathered her skirt, and he pulled the chair for her.

"Thank you."

Her hand rested on the table besides his, and that was all he could think about during the meeting. Charlie started asking the partners to discuss their projects and their progress, and how they plan to face the challenges that come with it.

He left his phone recording, and they didn't mind. Charlie knew he had trouble concentrating, and he rarely took notes.

He heard scratches of a pencil on a notebook beside him. Her hand was shifting towards his as she furiously wrote down everything that was being said. She was mumbling to herself as Snoke started rambling about how the office could use more people per studio, and the latest software for visualizations and analysis. He also mentioned the discipline needed to be enforced since most of the workers were on their phones half of the day when they could be working on something more useful.

She stopped writing, and Charlie gestured to her.

"Right. The hospitality and entertainment studio is doing quite well. We have 20 projects currently, 10 in the pre-design phase, 5 in the construction phase, and 5 up for schematic design. Out of these 20, it is important to note the Sibol project fot Atheneium Manila will be opening in time for the year end activities to be conducted by May. It is in the finishing stages and we are looking to open it up for inspection by March next year. Another project is the Arena commissioned the Cheng family, we plan to finalise the designs before the year ends..."

She glossed over the other projects with ease, explaining the current progress and problems succinctly. She showed photos of the projects by waking up the SmartTV set in the room.

She was quite enamoring. She was enraptured while speaking about her projects. Almost in a trance while she was speaking. She slipped in some jokes, and the others seemed to enjoy. Even Snoke was giving a small smile.

Amazing.

And then she was finished, and she made eye contact with Ben.

"What do you think?" She smiled her eyes almost unseen with the openness of her grin. Her teeth were straight but a bit dark around the edges. _Tea_.

"Pardon?"

"She was asking you if you would like to visit the Theater with her tomorrow." Snoke spit out, and rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, of course."

"Excellent. I'll inform Belle when we we're scheduled to leave." She gave him a wink, and sat down again.

"So Ben, what's your general view for now? It is quite overwhelming, I'm sure. Belle will be summarizing everything, and will send the notes to all of us." Charlie asked.

"You have plenty of interesting projects. I'm quite piqued with the Theater project especially since I do love the arts." Ben said, while looking everywhere except Rey.

Miriam raised an eyebrow at him quite quickly and almost snorted. He could tell when she wanted to do that. Schooling her features to one of a neutral smile. She spoke to her father in hushed tones.

"Father, don't you think Rey should show Ben around before dinner?"

"That's a great idea Miriam. Of course. Rey. Introduce Architect Solo to the studios and our associates. He will need to get a full handle of the situation to meet the needs of the company."

"Yes, father. Ben would surely enjoy Rey's company." Mephalda deflated a bit.

"Okay that's that. You'll be seeing Luke later for dinner? I'll let him know you're bringing Rey with you to thank her for her trouble."

His mouth went agape.

Charlie stood, asking his secretary, Rita apparently, to call up Luke and inform them of their plans. He sat still while Rey gathered her things. Miriam gave him another punch in the arm, and Mephalda squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Snoke gave him a nod and waddled away.

"Shall we?" Rey extended her hand and gestured to the door, and she looked at him intently.

Ben stood up, and faced the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on making a collection wherein Ben or Rey are architects in fics. I've found a few, and I've yet to read them. Please do check out my bookmarks that i marked "Architect Ben". I found a horror one that has Architect Ben become a serial killer. More of my opinion on Architects as Criminals in future posts.
> 
> Manila International Airport https://explore.traveloka.com/wp-v2/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/naia-2-750x400.png
> 
> Makati Skyline https://ak3.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/3314363/thumb/1.jpg
> 
> Central Business Districts - Lower Manhattan, The City of London aka the place where finance or commerce happens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_business_district
> 
> Toyotas in the Philippines - I used to play a game with my brother: we would count the number of Toyota Vios cars that would pass in front of us when we're on our way to work. It was usually 25 along our 1 hour drive to Makati.
> 
> Subway Roast Beef - the best sandwich bread I could find easily
> 
> Traffic in the Philippines - it is indeed intense. very bad traffic. 15 minute distances can become 1 and half hour drives. 3 hours of your life wasted everyday. For commuters, it is almost double.
> 
> White Office lobbies - it's a thing. Very First Order.
> 
> UNO - means one
> 
> Ren2 - means person in Chinese. In manga (Japanese culture), writing it down in your hand can help you calm down. https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQx60TOB6c__n3Zfr5kXz8_y5N6dTIM4YAsU-nk42RSlE9xNh_a
> 
> architectural entourage and visualizations - when we form designs, we usually prepare what the building will look like when built. the entourage are the people, cars, greenery, etc we litter across the photo, so it would look more realistic. there are numerous videos on youtube and articles on the web that shows the difference between photos and visualizations (renderings). here is an example: https://home.worldofwaw.com/real-vs-render-can-you-spot-the-3d-renders-from-actual-photographs/
> 
> Uncle / Aunt - it is common in Filipino culture to refer to friends of your elders as Tito or Tita (Uncle or Aunt). It acts as a term of endearment, as well as a form of respect. More on the nuances of the language in future posts.
> 
> I hope most of you learn from me or something. Leave a comment if you enjoyed! It helps to know that i'm not alone in sending my work out into the ether.


	2. Ostinato:  (Latin, obstinate) is a motif or phrase that persistently repeats in the same musical voice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snippet of Rey's POV, then, back to Ben. Is this what people call a first date? Or is this merely a tour of the area?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reading and bookmarking, as well as the kudos. I'm happy that this was read by people. The pressure is on though, but I'll try to focus on what I would want to read, if I were the reader.
> 
> I try to keep places as real as possible, but for the sake of my sanity, I'll redact some street names in the future. If you try hard enough, you might be able to locate me on Google maps with my descriptions. O_O

Chapter 2

Rey was still looking at him as he looked to the door in front of him.

"You're quite tall." She said in a declarative manner. Almost as if she was the one to have discovered this and no one else seemed to have noticed.

He turned towards her and swallowed. She saw his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He had a long neck. Curly black hair that hid his ears, but they were still peeking through. Reasonably muscled body. Posture straight at attention but slowly sinking as he gained interest.

"After you." She said trying to make him open the door in front of them.

He opened it, and held the door open for her. She grasped her notebook, and held firmly. Trying to stand tall while she walked. His pace quickened as he was nearing the elevator lobby.

He was quite handsome to look at. Broad shouldered, she tried to remember his eyes. She was pretty sure that brown eyes didn't all have those golden accents his had. The way he walked ahead with almost a rhythmic precision to his step, made her wonder if he had been required to serve in the army for a while.

She rushed her pace to walk alongside him. She will not walk behind a man.

"We'll drop by my studio first, and then I'll introduce you to everyone. Then, Mephalda's, Miriam's, and then Snoke's."

She led him to the elevator, the cramped one, and there were people queuing up behind them. Apprentices and a supervisor it seemed.

Rey went inside, and he followed. The supervisor stayed behind with the young ones, but she wouldn't have it.

"It's okay. We're just eight people. It's roomier than it seems. You don't mind do you?" Rey gave a small smile at Solo. He answered with a nod.

The people piled in, and they all seemed to be going up their floor.

Rey snuck a peek on Solo, and found him looking uncomfortable. He was grasping the railing behind him, and closed his eyes, and he started counting under his breath. 4, 6, 8. Even numbers. 

_Odd_. She may have misjudged the situation.

She was still staring at him when the elevator pinged.

_(12th floor. Please be careful on your way out.)_

The apprentices filed in a straight line and were escorted to their new stations. Solo was adjusting his tie, and he strode at her pace towards the right side.

"This is my office. Kenobi kindly left me his books and workload. I'll just organize my things, and I'll be right with you." She took her work bag, gathered her notebook, battery pack, and phone; then, proceeded to shove everything inside

.

"I'll bring this with me so we can meet with Engr. Skywalker directly after. "

"It seems heavy." He said quietly. Looking at her as if he was waiting for something.

"Nothing I can't handle. I'll show you the parking floors too when we're done." She schooled her face to a neutral one.

She was tired of smiling for the day.

He didn't seem to care. He's anxious, she can almost touch the small shivers he's been having since the elevator.

After cleaning up, she caught him admiring the bookshelves she placed, displacing Kenobi's collection from the floor.

"You use the Library of Congress system." He observed as he led his fingers to touch the books at the shelves.

"Yes. Come on then."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Showing me your space." His nervousness appearing to have subsided. She could see a small smile growing on his lips.

"O-kay. Let's go. Architect, or Williams as you know him, usually rounds the entirety of the 5 floors before the day ends. He makes sure to greet everyone, and ask them what's going on with their projects."

Solo continued listening.

"Here we have the theater team, the stadium, the Light Box team..."

She gestured to everyone, and introduced him to each member of the team. Her team. She keeps on forgetting. "Miss Rey is quite a delight to serve. Although sometimes, she's a bit too forthcoming, she'll ease you into agreeing with her, and you would be none the wiser." Rey gave this draftsman a playful swat, and they moved on.

40 direct reports to her. 20 projects. 2 people per project. It can be done she was sure, and she kept it that way.

They went to Mephalda's, then Miriam's, then Snoke's floors.

Everyone seems to be happy for the distraction. Indeed Snoke was right. Most of these people were on their phones. She needed to check her own studio, and see if she can make these people work more efficiently.

The layout of the offices didn't showcase the personality of the partner. The partners' offices can only be decorated so much. The cubicles made it hard to see what everyone seems to be focused at most. Like any office. She will have to think of other strategies to help her colleagues perform better.

\---

She floated towards everyone. She wore a bun high on her head. Little curls falling to her nape and her ears. She wasn’t wearing jewelry. Her skirt and blouse were quite loose for her figure. They were in a sandy beige, and the sleeves and hems followed her movement. Her ankles and wrists show that she seems to have a lithe figure. Her posture and gait not exactly as gracious as a dancer but purposeful in nature. She wore sensible flats, and her height was up to his shoulders.

By now, he observed that Rey seemed tired. Her smile flickering smaller than when she had been discussing the projects at the conference room. Her lashes were fluttering, and she was going back and forth between her two accents.

When they were finally finished, as they were going down the stairs that connects all the offices, he couldn't help it, he had to ask.

"Why do you switch between accents?" He stopped in his tracks, and pivoting towards her.

"Sorry?" She took a step back in surprise.

"You switch between RP and whatever you call the Filipino accented English."

"Oh. That. It's a habit."

"Where are you from Rey?"

"I was born in the UK but I also grew up here. The RP accent stuck more because I came back to UK for my graduate studies." Her expression went flat.

"I see. That's interesting. Thank you for the tour Rey."

"No problem, Architect Solo." She smiled small, waving her fingers in front of her.

"Ben. I'm just Ben." He put his hands behind his back so he can hide his fidgeting.

"BEN. You're off to dinner then? Enjoy. I'm sure Rey can guide you to where it is. Belle will be waiting for you when you get back to help you get settled." A clasp on the shoulder with a ton of force unbefitting for his size, Charlie gave him a shove towards the elevator.

"Thank you Uncle. I'll see you tomorrow."

Charlie waved a hand while the elevator doors closed.

"Now the exciting part. The parking floors." Rey said. Her smile dim.

"You'll be staying upstairs yeah? Engineer Skywalker will be meeting up with us at a nearby restaurant. Do you mind walking a bit?" She called out while shoving her things in her car. Checking her pockets to see if she had her key fob, phone, and wallet.

"It's no trouble."

"It's humid here most days but thankfully October is the dry season. It's not cold enough to comfortably wear a coat out in the morning, but for this evening it should be fine."

_Tiny elevators. Why is the elevator so tiny?_ Ben’s mind drifting towards the lobby.

"The elevator lobby we have is different from the lobby of the residential areas. You can check out the fire exit plan, if you want to see the design. It's pretty tiny but it works. I'll show you the elevator lobby for the residential side when you get home. Belle will be there by 9pm. Surely, Engr. Skywalker won't keep you long."

He glanced at his watch. 6pm. It's quite dark already outside, and she led him out the elevator.

"We're going to a restaurant in the Mall complexes. The Philippines has a huge mall culture, and this one was planned by the Ayalas. They were also the ones who planned the Central Business District of Makati. It is rumored that most of these lands are still owned by the Ayalas, and the buildings are here merely on lease. You can find out which of these buildings have been around since the beginning by the number of floors. Makati used to have an airstrip at the Ayala Triangle, which is their version of a Central Park. The Nielsen Tower is formerly the aircraft signal tower, and it's now being used as a restaurant. It used to house the Filipinas Heritage Library.

"The restaurant we're going to is called Kai. It's a Japanese restaurant, and I eat here when I'm with Engineer Skywalker or Snoke when they needed me for meetings..."

"What do you like best about it?" Ben’s interest piqued.

"It's quiet. Intimate almost. They have great tempura, and the mushroom confit salad is heavenly."

He nodded. Not caring if she sees him do it.

They walk towards an intersection, and she gestured towards a gray building.. "That's the Ayala Museum. They have ancestral gold, China, paintings, and dioramas showing the history of the Philippines. You should definitely visit while you're here."

"Have you been inside?"

"Yes. When I was doing my undergraduate degree here, I used to come by the Filipinas Heritage Library. They're at the 4th floor. I had a membership, and I would often wander to the museum whenever I was feeling stumped. Art really comforts me.

"Sorry. Have I been rambling? I really enjoy playing tour guide a bit. Please stop me, if I'm boring you. They always teased me that I liked the sound of my own voice too much." She laughed nervously. Fiddling with the curl that fell off her bun.

"No. I have to agree. Your voice is lovely to listen to."

"Oh. Thank you." Her ears turned pink at the tips.

He didn't realize he said it out loud. He thought he outgrew his tendency to allow his honesty to over rule him. Social situations really are difficult to navigate.

"We're here."

They approached a dimly lit restaurant with cream curtains. Earthy tones like jade, moss green materials envelope the interior. The restaurant was warmer than the outside, and the smell of teriyaki filled the air. Quiet laughter can be heard from the inner room. They were led to a table for four near the windows. Still intimate. No one would be able to see them from the outside.

"It seems Engr. Skywalker is running a bit late. He was at a client this morning that persisted he attend the meeting. They've been at it all day."

"He is like that."

"Do you have any dietary restrictions? Allergies?"

"None. I'll let you order since you've been here before. You seem to know what you like."

"Yes. Don't worry. Nothing too adventurous."

She ordered the vegetable tempura, mushroom confit with ponzu salad, asparagus rolls, tuna rolls, wasabi mashed potatoes, wagyu sukiyaki, and fruit for dessert.

"We'll be serving from lightest to heaviest. Will that be okay?"

"Yes. Thank you. Can we get two glasses of water? Please give us the taller glasses or a pitcher. It's quite hot outside."

The waitress nodded, and she went away.

The table had little stones that seemed to serve as a chopsticks holder. It was tinted glass on tablecloth, and the chair was quite low for his tall frame.

Ben caught her gaze and asked, "What do you do in your spare time?"

" _Che chosa fai Nel tempo libero_?" She smiled one of her secret smiles. (a/n: she translated it into Italian.)

"I like to ride bikes, visit small art shops, eat at the food markets, walk quietly, read in the park, listen to music... Or whatever the Italian translation is."

"Ah. I see you've also joined an Italian class or two." She baited.

"We had a subject on Renaissance architecture. It was encouraged to join the school trip for the summer term."

"Where did you go?"

"Florence, Rome, Siena, Venice, Assisi."

"Which was your favorite?"

"Florence and Assisi. In Florence, the art and the architecture is beautiful. You could feel the history coursing through the air. The weight and the significance each stone has. Assisi was more quiet, you can feel the importance that religion had on people. The selflessness of Saint Francis was astounding."

"Are you a religious man, Ben?"

"No. I just felt peace when I was there."

She looked at him curiously, and it felt like her eyes were piercing through his soul. He forgot to just focus on the space between…

"BEN! How are you my boy?" Luke pulled him up for a hug, and smashed his ribs in the process.

"Uncle Luke. I'm okay. Kindly ease up on me. I can't breathe." He tapped his uncle on the shoulder.

A giggle can be heard in the background, and that reminded the men where they were.

"Rey dear. Thanks for being a gracious host to Ben here. I seemed to have disrupted your deep conversation." He eyed her seriously.

She raised an eyebrow.

"You know. With your eyes looking directly at each other, I was standing here for 3 seconds behind you both, and none of you were the wiser."

Her neck started turning pink and it spread to her ears.

Thank God, Ben's ears were hidden by his hair, he started coughing, and he asked his uncle to sit next to Rey.

Rey asked about the meeting, and Luke was gesticulating about everything that happened when the food arrived.

“Mushroom confit salad.” The waitress announced. Giving them dark green stoneware plates.

Rey served them up, and they dove in.

Sweetness. Sourness. Smooth and melty. The mushrooms meld together while the greens provide the crunch to contrast. It was delicious.

Rey and Luke were staring at him as he hummed.

"Good, yeah?"

A nod. He's starting to wonder if embarrassed would be the default emotion for the day.

They had the vegetable tempura next. It was mushrooms, sweet potato, onions, bell peppers, and zucchini. The batter was perfect, and it merely accented the natural flavor of each vegetable. It was thin and crispy, and it went well with the juiciness of the veg once it was in his mouth.

Rey continued chatting with Luke, and they seem to be totally at ease.

All the succeeding courses were wonderful. He didn't expect wasabi to go so perfectly with potatoes, and the sukiyaki felt comforting.

Rey didn't speak to him for the rest of the evening and only focused on Luke. She spoke to him like he, too, was her uncle. The dynamic that seems to be lost on Ben, when Luke left.

He enjoyed their company though. Just listening did that to him. The warmth seeping through his cold heart. If this is feeling, it couldn't be that bad right?

"Uncle Luke, I think I need to tap out. I'm exhausted."

"Took you long enough. I can't believe Chewie persuaded you to go straight from the airport to the office. He should have waited till you got a good night's sleep."

"The jetlag will last for days before I can go back. It's fine Uncle. I'm not made of glass. Plus, it's a reasonable hour. I made it this far."

"9pm. Not bad. But you'll have to see Lady Rey tomorrow, since you won't be up for drinks tonight."

"I don't drink anymore uncle. You know that." He whispered.

"It's okay. Lady Rey can hold her liquor. You should invite her out. I know of a place. Could fit in a nice walk or two." He whispered loudly.

"You calling me Lady Rey again aren't you Engineer Skywalker?"

"You are truly are a force of nature my dear. She has a sixth sense you know that?" Luke nudged Ben softly.

Rey swatted Luke playfully.

"Young lady, is that how you treat your superiors?" Luke put his hands on his waist in mock seriousness.

"I'm sorry Sir." She bowed her head and folded in herself.

"It's alright dear. Perhaps that would change soon." He gave her a wink.

"I'll leave you two to it. Keep Rey safe Ben. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"I don't think that will give Rey the comfort she needs."

"You know what I mean." He laughed. And walked towards the opposite direction.

"After you, my lady." He gestured for Rey to lead the way.

They walked in silence. Ben feeling like he'd drunk 8 bottles with his lethargy. Every step felt like lead.

"You alright there?"

"Yeah. I'm just quite sleepy. Thank you for putting up with me. I enjoyed my first day back." He tried to mimic her warm smile, but all he could give was his small one.

"You're welcome. If you need someone to hang out with, I'm here."

"Hang out?"

"Yeah. You seem like a good person. Although awfully quiet. By the way, I'm sorry for the elevator."

"What?" He startled. Embarrassed and startled. Definitely his default emotions.

"I just noticed you were uncomfortable when the elevator was full earlier. I didn't mind, and I was insensitive. Forgive me?"

She looked at him straight in the eyes. She noticed. He couldn't believe she noticed.

No one ever did.

"Yes. I even told you I would be fine."

"Still, you shouldn't have to do things you're uncomfortable with. I think we're friends now right? Just be truthful, and I think we'll be okay."

"Okay."

"Okay."

She looked at him again, like she was picking him apart. Trying to scan all the fibers in his hair and sweeping her eyes.

Belle tapped him on the arm, "Sorry, Ma’am Rey. Sir, your belongings are all set up as you instructed. You'll be at the 36th floor. Here is your key. Would you like me to accompany you upstairs?"

"Yes, thank you." He nodded at Belle. Rubbing his arm again, he thought that he should really tell Belle not to tap him like this.

Rey righted Belle's glasses, and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. She said her goodbyes.

"Good night Ben. I'll see you tomorrow. Dress comfortably. We'll be traveling to site." She left as he gave her a wave. Back to the tiny elevator where she seemed at ease.

The view upstairs was as stellar as he had hoped. You can see the pools of the other buildings. "Less than 20 floors indicated that the building was here in the beginning" he could hear Rey's voice lilting with her RP pronunciation. Most of the skyline was visible to him from here.

Belle showed him the baths, the kitchen with a well stocked fridge, the bedrooms, surprisingly there were four.

"This is huge. I don't need too much space."

"I was merely doing as I was instructed by your mother."

"Thank you Belle for your hard work. What time am I needed for tomorrow?"

"You won't be needed until lunch sir. Although, Architect wishes for you to join him for breakfast at 9am if you are able."

"I'll see, if I can wake up."

The closets were organized according to his instructions. Business suits organized by color and fabric. Underwear folded in the Konmari method. Undershirts, cream, white, and black. Pajama sets, Workout clothes, casual polos and pants.

He smelled the familiar scent of his detergent. He'll miss Poppy at home. He always knew what he needed.

"I'll leave you to it then, sir. I'll come by at 8 am to help you if you decide to have breakfast with the Williams or cook up something here. Lastly, this is your local phone. All the necessary numbers are there as well as the key people at UNO. They'll know who you are. If ever you decide that you don't want me inside, click this light, and the room will not allow me to use the visitor key card. The other instructions are in the brochure near the door."

"I'll see you out."

"Thank you, sir."

He told Belle good night, checked the lock, and he made his way to perform his ablutions.

Shower. Wash the face. Moisturizer. Brush the teeth. Mouthwash. Night guard. Water and antidepressant.

Underwear. Moisturizer. Cotton pajamas covering his arms and legs. He slid into the cotton sheets, and was thankful for the room control. Always at 76 degrees Fahrenheit, or 25 degrees Celsius. He needs to get used to the metric system.

The bed is huge. It’s not what he's used to back in Manhattan.

The moment he laid his head down, his dreams start to engulf him. It was filled with his memory of walking around Assisi, but this time with a girl at his side. Her laughter trickling in as she held out her hand to him. Her bun falling down as she throws her head back in laughter. Warmth covering him as she followed her footsteps. She walked closer to him, and put her arm around his waist. He held her closer trying to find her scent, and they walked towards the sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tiny Elevator - It's a 450 kg capacity elevator, roughly ten people can fit.
> 
> Apprentices - all over the world, before one can practice architecture or take the necessary exams to become registered and licensed, graduates are required to participate in apprenticeship. For the Philippines, 2 years experience in the different fields are required (project management, specializations, design, interior works, etc.)
> 
> Library of Congress - The LCC isn't usually used by small libraries, but if you're into the life thinking you're inside the Library of Congress, you do you.
> 
> Code switching - Changing accents can happen to people who have lived in different places with different people. Most people do it but aren't aware. When we change the manner or the lexicon we use, that's a code switch. I use this here to indicate Rey's familiarity with her people. She is meeting them at their level, rather than talking down to them.
> 
> RP - Received Pronunciation or BBC English. Look it up. :)) Spoilers, if I explain too much!
> 
> Che chosa fail nel tempo libero? - What do you do in your spare time? This is the only thing I remember from learning Italian. :))
> 
> The metric system - The Philippines mostly uses the metric system for planning, but we also use the English system for industry standard materials (doors, windows, roofs, steel, wood joists). I know. We're crazy like that.
> 
> 25 degrees Celsius is the standard room temperature for habitable spaces in the Philippines, In Japan, its 23 degrees Celsius. In the US, it's 21 degrees Celsius. Go figure.
> 
> I have a plot for this, I swear. I'm just still setting up the characters. I was supposed to post this fic once I was finished with everything, but I was afraid I would lose my nerve, if I waited till then.
> 
> I'll try to update three chapters a week at most and one chapter a week at least. Weekends look better for me, so please watch for it or subscribe if you haven't already.
> 
> Thank you for your comments. Even simple ones with emoticons, emojis, or short texts make me happy. It's nice knowing you're not alone. I might remove the moderation, since truthfully, i have yet to see an ill-meant comment on AO3, but we'll see if it works out.


	3. Chapter 3-Aria:  a self-contained piece for one voice, with or without instrumental or orchestral accompaniment, normally part of a larger work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some journeys we take alone. An exploration of Rey and Ben's identities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter. Thank you for putting up with me, if you made it this far. The next few chapters after this will finally earn the Mature rating.
> 
> I realize I like writing about food. I'll keep it to a minimum, but I hope this chapter makes you as hungry as it made me! Also, there are mentions of attempted Sexual Assault on a minor. It should be safe, but I'll mark it with three asterisks (***) so you can skip through it, if it is triggering for you.

He woke up promptly at 6am. That's the way it is. Even though he hated it. Even though he wanted to sleep more, his mind was awake.

His cotton pants were tenting.

_Good morning._

This happens to him because of the shifting levels in hormones in the morning. He racked his brain if he had an inappropriate dream.

He was trying to picture his dream, but all he could remember was the warmth of hands and the supposed feeling of love to be pouring out. Then, his hand on a face. Eyes closing, and then he woke up.

He heard the vibration of his phone on the table.

\-- you up bud? I found a great supplier for windows here at the West. They seem like good folk. Be sure to email them to you. Have a good day bud. Update us when you can.-

-how do you plan to decide on who will lead Ben? They seem like good people if what you sent me is true. Try to be impartial. We know Williams has his favorites, and it won't be his daughters.-

-hey! Lovely ladies found your bed yet? Phasma's surprised you left. Didn't even tell her goodbye?-

For his local phone, another iPhone. Belle chose this for ease, he guessed.

-Good morning Arch. Solo. I'll be entering your kitchen by 8am to prepare. May I help you with anything? Thank you.-

-Ben, did they give Rey this number? She'll be driving you to the site. Don't forget! Don't forget to be a gentleman. We all know how you love the arts. :P-

-Ben, comfortable clothes and water. BB prepared your PPE for you. She already put them in my car. We meet at 1500h at the parking floor.-

He replied to the last one.

-Who is BB?-

-Belle Bondoc. Your shadow. Your assistant! Who did you think it was?-

-Okay. I didn't think to ask. She just told me she's Belle. Have a lovely day.-

Why is Rey always making him feel embarrassed? It's just 6:30am.

It's 6:30am.

Rub one off in the Shower. Shower again. Brush teeth. Wash face. Shave. Aftershave. Moisturize. Sunscreen.

Dry off. Moisturizer. Sunscreen.

Comfortable clothes.

Water. Antihistamine. Yoghurt.

8am.

A high pitched buzzer sound breaks the silence.

"Good morning Belle."

"Oh. Good morning Sir! I'm sorry it seems you woke up before I arrived. I'm glad you found the yoghurt. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"I can't seem to find the Wi-Fi password. Also, a reusable bottle would be useful for today."

"The wifi password was at the brochure beside your bed, Sir. Shall I get it for you?"

"No, I won't be needing it till later."

"You requested for a nearby gym, but all we can find is this one, if the in-house one doesn't suit your needs. We've already arranged for your membership, and you can visit it anytime you like. I've sent you the details through Telegram."

A boxing gym has always been his preferred area of exercise. He didn't want to waste time with those machines, if he couldn't defend himself. It was one of his few obsessions. Yet, today, he'll have to leave it for this evening since he'll be having breakfast.

"Your books came today Sir. We'll be setting up your library in the satellite office today. I trust Architect Rey showed you where it was located?"

"Yes. Thank you Belle."

_Where did she go when she wasn't shadowing him? Is that polite to ask?_

"At 10am, the piano will be arriving today as well. I'll be here waiting till then. Is there anything else you require of me?"

"None at the moment. Besides the water bottle."

"Oh yes. Here. I have it with me. It's been washed and sanitized. You can fill it up."

"Thank you. I'll make my way upstairs."

"Yes. They expected you'll be early. Here's your visitor key."

8:30am.

He was met with a marble covered lobby at the Penthouse. White lobbies again.

He made his way to the double doors, and swiped the key.

The pitch of the alarm changed when visitors are entering. He found that quite satisfying.

"Good morning Sir." An elderly butler welcomed him. He was led to a seating area, where a glass of warm water was waiting for him on a wood coaster.

The interior felt homey. Wooden ceilings and floors made him feel like this wasn’t a penthouse suite. The furniture was mismatched. Some were modern, some looked antique. Scratch marks can be seen on the foot of the chairs. There was a column near the sofa that had Mephalda and Miriam’s heights recorded.

He heard the flapping of slippers nearing, and he stood up to give his Uncle Chewie a hug. "Good morning, son. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. I think. Will Miffy and Yam be joining us?"

"No. They're already at the office. They're preparing for the morning meetings. Come, come. Malla is close to finishing up."

Ben let his uncle escort him to the dining room. Chewie's arm can only reach up to his forearm, and he matched the elderly man's pace.

"Auntie, how have you been?" Ben came forward and enveloped the tiny lady with a hug.

"Oh Ben, is it possible that you've grown even taller? Or did I grow smaller?" Her deep alto voice with the comforting Filipino accented English.

"I think you've definitely grown smaller, Auntie. What's cooking?" He smiled, since he could smell his favorite food wafting in the air.

"Well, since you're my favorite, I'm preparing your favorites. Creamy Arroz Caldo with a side of crispy chicken, and a side salad."

"Thank you Auntie, chicken soup with ginger really helps me get going in the morning."

"Who knew your mom learned to cook this for you? I'm quite surprised she tried. The ginger and the garlic tastes better here dear. The Philippines has great produce. If only we could serve the people more..."

"Okay Malla. Breakfast first, saving the world later." Malla chuckled at her husband's comment, as she dished out bowls of Arroz Caldo.

"Mangoes are in the fridge Ben dear. Kindly get them out."

A plate of sliced mangoes sat there waiting for him. Mangoes are his absolute favorite. They're twice as sweet here than the ones he gets in the US. He felt glad that his Auntie remembered.

His uncle finished setting up the table, and they sat down to eat.

Malla said grace, and asked everyone to dig in.

She watched as Ben took the first slurp. Ginger, fish sauce, garlic. Tons and tons of garlic. Shredded chicken exploded in flavor while he chewed. Green onion provided the bitter contrast to the richness of the chicken broth with rice. Creamy but texturally still of rice, he chewed with vigour, and blew on his next spoonful.

His Auntie Malla sat there watching him while smiling.

"Good?"

"Yes. As always. Thank you Auntie."

Chewie chuckled, and said, "we love watching you eat Ben. You always bring something new to the experience."

He wiped his mouth nervously and asked, "Am I doing it wrong?"

"No dear. Chewie and I just enjoy watching you enjoy the food. You always seem to relish it. Don't mind us." They started focusing on the breakfast in earnest. They mostly ate quietly, until it was time for the mangoes.

Ben took one bite of the cubed mangoes, and it was so good. He hummed in contentment. His aunt had frozen them, and it was still chewy in the middle.

He could see her small smile while she ate one of her own.

"So, you've met Rey?"

Ben choked at the mention of her name.

"Oh sorry dear. _Bong pakikuha Ng tubig si Ben_." (F: Please get Ben some water.)

The butler, Bong apparently, poured him some water.

He continued coughing, and his Auntie rubbed his back with pressure till he stopped.

"You good?"

He nodded.

"Okay. We won't talk about it." Malla looked at Chewie for support. Chewie was trying to contain his laughter.

"Well, if I have to say something, "that girl" is really something." Chewie air quoting.

It's nice to know that some things don't really change. His aunt and uncle really love teasing him. He could feel his ears getting warm.

"I think it's time to get going dear. Ben, feel free to explore while you don't have to come in today. Arch. Jacinto will meet you at 3pm later." Chewie stood up with purpose, and Ben stood to give his Auntie a hug.

10am.

The piano was coming today. He surmised that he won't be welcome in his rooms. He was starting to feel groggy, so he fired up the maps app, and made his way downstairs to look for a park.

\---

"At the end of the G street, turn left."

Crosswalks like these should have a diagonal option. I'm pretty convinced that people make the decision easy. Look at the girl ninja run it diagonally to not break the rules.

He walked leisurely, and made it to the other side without having to make a Naruto run. Long strides benefit most people. Older looking buildings that use the international style seems to be dated to the 1970s.

"Go straight. Your destination will be on the left."

He crossed the place between two parks.

He sat on a nearby bench, and people watched. The giggling of a child that fell on the grass caught his attention. The boy kept chasing the little dog, and he was failing. He fell on his face, and sat down in shock. He rocked himself. One. Two. Three. The boy stood up again, and he ran after the dog again.

"Ayayayayayaya!" An elder lady laughed and intercepted the boy. She proceeded to give him a smothering hug.

"Lola!!! Lolaaaaaaa!!!" The child giggled and giggled while this older person blew raspberries in his neck.

_Isn't that uncomfortable? But the kid seems happy... No one else seems to think that what they're doing is bad..._

He got out his phone and wore his Airpods to drown the noise out. He flipped to the recording of the meeting with the partners.

He took notes of anything special or promising the partners were saying about their projects. He also noted anything he remembered from yesterday that may need his attention.

He finally heard the Rey's voice. Her voice sounded more musical in the recording. He reviewed the notes with more vigor, and he jotted down the details Rey made about the theater project they were visiting.

-things to look for:

Workmanship

Joinery

Acoustics

Lighting

Tiling layout

Etc.-

He felt sleepy again. 11am.

It's too early for lunch, even though the Arroz Caldo was a bit lighter than usual.

He knew that even if he wanted to go back to sleep, it would be too risky to do so. He was never late. Never.

He walked the active park. He observed that the park was 150m, as indicated by the signs. If he were to run 10 laps, he would be able to reach 1.5km. That might make him dizzy. The park was smaller than he expected, but it was calming nonetheless. Noise of this magnitude wasn't cumbersome.

The park across it was a more subdued one, he walked around it, and made his way back to UNO.

\------

There were so many things to think about. It didn't help that Rey had a dream about someone very specific. Broad shoulders and strong arms encasing her in warmth. Hands travelling to places she's never touched on her own.

It's been a while since she's dreamed so vividly. Most days, nightmares or dreamless sleep were her only options. Plus, the idea that someone touching her still made her skin crawl while awake.

Nevertheless, she managed to finish everything that should be done that morning. She must make a good impression towards Ben for her to feel validated in her new position.

As she ate her lunch, she wondered how Kenobi was doing. His wife had died, and he had gone home to bury her. She attended the burial, and Kenobi asked her to replace him. He would continue his practice in Pampanga, and manage the familial sugar lands. She remembered how Kenobi found her, and how he has supported her all these years.

The memories flooded Rey, and she was taken back to when her parents died.

They were caught in car crash when she was 7. Her Uncle Plutt picked her up after school, and it broke her.

She believed in rules and absolutes. One of her rules were that her parents would pick her up when they said they would. She always held people to their promises, and her parents always delivered.

Except that day.

Her uncle had turned to drink to mourn the loss of his only sister and only family, and for years, she made ends meet herself. Asking teachers for help, explaining away that her uncle was busy juggling jobs and couldn't find time to enroll her into another school. Lying through her teeth to keep studying had been her habit. She kept her head down, went to a public school, until she turned 13.

Her uncle managed to get money every now and then, and she would squirrel it away for food, school supplies, and every day needs, but when she got her period, everything changed.

***

Her uncle started seeing her in a new light. The beauty of her mother and father was in her. She was growing into her features, and his desire was for her.

She started touching her when she was asleep, and after 3 months of pretending she didn't notice, she couldn't take it anymore when his hand made its way up to inside of her thigh. She kicked him unconscious, and she ran.

***

She found herself at the nearest police box and cried. A lady officer approached her, and she cried louder. She couldn't form coherent sentences anymore. When the officer tried to rub her back, she vomited. She recoiled at her touch, and vomited more.

The officer was kind, said her name was Dahlia Jacinto. She told her that it's okay to cry. She'll stay with her until she was ready.

The morning sun filtered into the air when she finally decided to speak. In a way only a child can, she explained her whole story to the officer. She kept quiet, took notes, and gave her some breakfast.

The police were dispatched to the house, and secured the area. Her uncle suffered from a stroke when she ran away.

She was now truly alone.

The officer asked if she could hold her hand, and she said, yes. She led them to a nearby chips shop, and she let her cry some more.

When she calmed down, the officer explained the foster system. Five years, and she would have to go on her own. She managed to listen intently. She will survive. She owed it to her parents to survive but she didn't want to.

The officer didn't want her to be alone. Dahlia was also alone, and she wanted to help her. She decided that she would adopt Rey.

Rey accepted her and her surname.

Rey Parker was now Rey Jacinto.

Dahlia said she needed to sort through her parents' belongings and her uncle's as well. She managed to find some old bank documents, photos, and some books.

The officer helped her sell the furniture from their rented room, and opened up a bank account for her.

She was left with insurance, enough to take her through secondary school. Officer Dahlia helped her through everything, and she didn't ask anything in return.

Her touch was the only thing Rey could handle. Teaching her life skills that would come in handy. Even giving her her old violin, since she used to play as a child. There were volunteers at a nearby church to teach her, and it gave her some semblance of happiness.

When they were gardening or cooking, she told her how she came to the UK. She migrated when she got married to her husband. She was in the Philippine Police force, and her husband was in the UK police force. She worked herself to the bone to become accepted into the UK justice system. Here she was safe, and they were happy even though they couldn't have children of their own. A mugger he had tried to subdue killed him with a knife. She had to become strong for herself.

Even though she was alone, she now had Rey.

When she turned 17, they decided that it would be best for her to study in the Philippines. Obet Kenobi's wife was her sister-in-law, and they didn't have children of their own. They asked if they could help Rey with her studies with the condition that she finished her undergraduate studies in the Philippines since the pound was stronger there.

She managed to get accepted to a prestigious private University. Her Filipino improved when she practiced speaking with Dahlia. After a year of preparation, she was off. She became overwhelmed but she was a survivor. Her issue with touch baffled her new found friends, but she made do. She formed good friendships, and she started to hope again.

After her apprenticeships and license exams, she decided to go back to the UK. She worked through college, and managed to scrounge up enough for a semester in the UK. The Kenobis wouldn't have it, they saw potential in her, and they invested in her.

She went back to Dahlia to live with her full time as she studied Environmental and Architectural Acoustics at the London South Bank University. Dahlia was old and she fell ill a month before her graduation.

She didn't live to see her finish. She had asked for Rey's hand when she lay dying. She told Rey that Rey had saved her when she said yes to the adoption. She was happy to be part of Rey's journey. She made her promise to live, to find love, to grow at her own pace. She couldn't understand how something so wonderful as her found her way to her life. She would be going home to God now.

Rey closed Dahlia's eyes, and kissed her forehead as she once did for her.

She called for the nurse, and she stared blankly as she made the necessary preparations.

She walked her graduation, smiled as her classmates congratulated her for being the batch's salutatorian, accepted her awards, and the day after she buried her chosen mother.

_Alone again._

Dahlia had left her a sizable inheritance. The small house they lived in and some heirloom jewelry, along with bank accounts filled with enough to give her a choice.

Kenobi approached her at the funeral. He offered her a job at UNO. She can choose to stay here or to go with them to the Philippines. She had a week to decide.

She said she will think about it.

She went home to their little flat. Gathered the boxes once again. Three categories now. Four deaths she will have to live with.

She allowed herself to cry. Her mind was staggering. She didn't know what to do. The Kenobis were kind. They treated her as she was their own. She didn't make it hard for them to love her, and they didn’t make it hard for her to love them. She didn't see the need to rebel. She owed Kenobi her education and her profession. It would be the pragmatic course of action.

She boxed up her belongings, and brought them to storage. Only taking what she'll be needing, and selling what she can, she made her choice.

She would put the house up for lease, and she would leave after a week.

A ping in her phone, and she realized she was eating for an hour now. Her half-eaten lunch seems to have been staring at her for 30 minutes now.

Remembering her past always took up her energy, but it came to her in droves. She couldn't stop the memories, and she couldn't change them. She just tries to be grateful but most of the times her anxiety rises up.

She just needs to do everything according to plan, and she will be fine.

She took a deep breath and read the message from Belle.

-Ma'am Rey, Architect Solo is waiting for you at the ground floor for the site visit. Thank you.-

She glanced at her watched and cursed under her breath.

3:00pm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arroz Caldo - it's chicken broth with rice gruel. typically served with raw shallots or chives, toasted garlic, and chicharon (pork rind or skin fried to perfection), fancy ones have big chicken bits, but ones you get from the sidewalks have shredded next to nothing chicken. My mom likes serving it with fried chicken because we like the contrast. (And I loooove fried chicken. It's the one thing that keeps me from being Vegan. I do try to at least have one plant based meal a day. Please don't hate me.) https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcTVNkkAaGjCjP8fjMXsJEfhe62QkHWuB3wqvunOLdaFbKvmpb5M
> 
> Philippines Mangoes - Carabao Mangoes as it is called here, it is one of the sweetest mangoes you can taste. They say it has something to do with the sun that shines in Guimaras. Mangoes can be eaten sliced, or peeled like how monkeys would eat it, or fancy like I wrote here. It is delicious frozen, but you need to eat it the day you freeze it. More details about the culture here: https://panlasangpinoy.com/the-truth-about-philippine-mangoes/
> 
> Naruto run or ninja run - If you don't know who Naruto is, feel free to look for him on the internet. I don't even watch Naruto but I know how he runs. Here's a gif: https://media1.tenor.com/images/8d8356c866266cef31ed2f2e119ffe58/tenor.gif?itemid=5552832
> 
> Thank you for your patience. I would greatly appreciate if you leave a comment or a kudos, if you enjoyed. Long or short, it makes my day. I check this story daily for comments, and I try to answer as briefly as I can. I get over excited :)) If you didn't enjoy, leave me constructive criticism! Moderation is now off, and I will do my best to accept it.
> 
> There's a part of me that thinks that Rey doesn't sound British enough and Ben doesn't sound American enough. I'll do my best to improve!
> 
> Cheers! Thank you for your support!


	4. Chapter 4: Allegro con brio - At a fast tempo, and with spirit (literally 'with brilliance')

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perfect Acoustics? Achievable in a fictional world.
> 
> Rey and Ben finally visit the Atheneum University Theater. Also, the fic finally earns its mature rating. Hold on. Feels ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll mark the NSFW part with three asterisks. You have been warned.

Rey arrived 2 minutes late.

Ben was a bit distracted. Belle asked if she was needed, but Ben said they'll be fine. He followed her to her car, and rode on the passenger seat.

Neither of them have said more than two words.

"Don't you think it's warm today?" Rey said while putting on her seat belt.

"Not so much." Ben answered in a clipped tone.

"O-kay."

_She didn't even apologize. I can't believe she would be like this._

Rey drove with precision, and she appeared like she didn't want to talk as well.

Ben pulled out his notes from this morning and glided his hands over the grooves his pen had left. When he saw her, he remembered who was in her dream. He didn't realize it, but it was Rey. They've only just met, and he was apparently having inappropriate dreams about her.’

He glanced at her from his periphery. She was focused. She checked her mirrors, she turned on the signal. She shifted smoothly.

Watching her drive was like watching a dance. It was rhythmic, and it was soothing. Precise and calculated.

_But she was still late. Sure, it was 2 minutes. But two minutes is 120 seconds. 120 seconds of his life to add to his anxiety. You could have done a lot in 2 minutes. You could brush your teeth more than half way. You could button your clothes. You could undress…_

Ben stopped himself there. He didn't want that train of thought.

_What did Mom say on how to treat girls? Treat them with respect. Always ask for permission before helping. Protect but allow her to protect herself. No non-consensual touching. Focus on her eyes, not her breasts, butt, or legs. Be gentle. Silence may be better than honesty._

He started reading his notes again, and he felt a sniffle coming.

"Ha-choo!" He covered his mouth, and sneezed.

"Whoa. You alright? There's tissue at the back seat, if you need it."

"Thanks." He reached back, and felt something at the floor. Something hard. Like a case. He ignored it, and found the tissue box.

"Excuse me."

"Go ahead."

He blew his nose, and he kept the tissue in his pocket.

Traffic was bad as always. They should have left earlier. They arrived at the site by 5pm.

They suited up, and went inside. The theater was shaped like a shell. Almost like a human ear. The waves were undulating, erratic, but purposeful. It was a wonder that this was merely for a university.

The workers gathered around Rey, and one volunteered to lead them around.

They checked the classrooms,the black box theaters, the dance halls, and the library. Rey seemed to be satisfied, and Ben just wanted to observe her in her element.

She led Ben to the theater, and she asked him to stay put.

He looked at the ceiling and observed the shape. It was like an egg inside. The walls were yet to be finished with carpet or material, and the chairs weren't there yet, but he could imagine what it would look like when it was done.

He climbed to the topmost tier of the seating area, and closed his eyes. He couldn't hear anything from the outside. Just his breathing. Then, heavy footsteps made their way to the stage.

The swelling of Vocalise filled the hall. Sadness. Gentle sadness. Desperation. Longing. The depth of feeling too strong to be expressed in words. Darkness enveloped him. A push and pull of the dark and the light that followed. Hope that it will not be the end. Doubt. Letting go. Slowly letting go. The last note hung in the air. He opened his eyes, and he had not imagined it.

Rey stood at the stage, violin in hand. She whispered, "I didn't notice you there."

The sound tickled his ear as if she was just beside him.

He stood up. He made his way towards her, and said, "That was amazing. Did you do the acoustics for this?"

"Yes. It's not complete though, the carpets would help with the audience not interfering the performance."

"I couldn't believe it. The sound enveloped me, even there at the outermost row. It was as if you were right beside me. You did well. It's great design."

"Thank you. That means a lot, and also, the experiment was complete. It always fills me up whenever something I designed on a computer performs as well as I expected it to be."

She wiped down her violin, and put it back in the case, being sure to close the zippers and the lock.

She swung it behind her, and started walking towards the backstage area.

So many questions were cycling in his head, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her.

_Who taught you how to play? When did you start? What's your favorite piece? Why that song? Why do you look so sad? What's wrong_?

They went back to the parking area, and she told him to wait for her. She needed to do something first at the site office.

He waited for her patiently. His questions unasked.

\---

She came back after 15 minutes. Her eyes a bit red and her hair was a bit damp as she wiped her face with a towel.

"It's dusty isn't it? I forgot to tell you you could wash your face as well."

"I'm okay. I'll do it when we get back to UNO."

They shook their boots, and went inside the car.

The drive to UNO was silent once again. Ben reviewing his photos of the site, or at least he pretended to.

Her Vocalise looped in his head. He could hear it again and again. His fingers started tapping on his thigh, and he closed his eyes. Imagining what it would be like to play with her.

Rachmaninoff was able to express his emotions well in music, especially sadness. Rey interpreted it well, and he could feel as if he were one with her.

"If you'd like to nap, you're welcome to. I don't even want to check what time it is in the US. You might get more sleepy."

"It would be 5am by now. I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

"The manual transmission wasn't built for city driving. My legs are killing me with this traffic."

"You're a good driver though." He said quietly.

She ignored him.

When they reached the UNO building and Rey parked, he looked to her for what to do.

It was 9pm, and they hadn't had dinner yet. He didn't know how to ask.

"So..." She started.

Her stomach rumbled, and his answered.

His phone rang, and he answered, grateful for the distraction.

"Hello. Architect Solo? I took the liberty of ordering you and Ma'am Rey dinner. I'll be setting up here at your room upstairs. I hope you don't mind."

"Thank you Belle. We are indeed quite hungry."

"That's good news sir! Thank you. I'm hanging up now."

Belle hung up, and he said it.

"Rey, Belle ordered us some dinner. Would you like to join me?"

She laughed and nodded. "I think I will. Else, my stomach might engulf yours."

They went upstairs in the residential elevator this time, and he opened the door for her.

She went in, and the piano was there in the living area.

"A Steinway? You play?"

He nodded.

"Architect Solo! I set up the table. I hope you both like Italian food. I'm done for the day, so I'll leave you both."

"No, Belle join us." Rey said with a smile.

"No, I couldn't. I had my dinner earlier this evening. Got to keep the blood sugar up." She laughed nervously, and made her eyeglasses more crooked than it was earlier.

Rey reached out to Belle, and righted her glasses.

"Okay Belle. Good night."

_We're adults here. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Luke's memory reminding him._

Ben took deep breaths.

They sat down at the table, and ate quietly. The seafood marinara pasta and Caesar salad were filling.

The garlic bread complemented everything. They were both hungry, and they gladly took that excuse to quietly sweep everything off their plates.

"I hope you don't mind spending your Halloween with me." Ben finally broke the silence.

"I forgot. So tomorrow and the day after will be a holiday. October 31..." She laughed but her laughter was mixed with pain.

She was tired. She lacked sleep. Her tears overflowed. Playing Vocalise earlier didn't help either. It came with too much memories.

"Rey? I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" Ben said with a panicked voice making his way to her side.

"No. I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. I'm just. I'm sorry. I should go." She folded her napkin, and wiped her face. It was moot because the tears kept coming.

"Don't. Please. How can I fix it? I'm sorry. I make mistakes all the time. I don't know what to do." He was ruffling his hands through his hair, and he was on his knees beside her.

"It's my parents death anniversary. You can't actually fix it. Nothing can. They've been gone for 20 years now. It's okay Ben. I'll be okay. I just forgot since I was excited about the project. I can't believe I forgot." She covered her face with her hands, and she shook while she cried.

"Would you like a hug?" Ben hedged.

"What?" She looked at him incredulously.

"Just imagine your parents are with you. I'm sure they would agree that you need a hug. I'm not fond of them when I'm ill prepared so I'm asking for permission. I could get you some hot chocolate, and a warm blanket as an alternative. Just please, don't leave when you're upset."

She couldn't believe herself but she said yes.

Ben enveloped her in his large frame. He held her gently. Not too firm and not too light. She continued crying. His linen shirt was getting wet, and he didn't seem to mind. She couldn't stop now. Everything was flooding back again. 20 years had passed and she still felt broken. His warmth was coursing through her, and she felt comforted.

Like a soldering iron fusing her back together… Irons... Men. She had to let go. She breathed deeply, and although it was comforting, Ben was still a man. She reminded herself though that he had asked his permission. She had to let g--

He let go first.

"Are you okay?" His face was worried. He could see the effort he took in searching her face.

"Thank you. I'm better." She put her arms around herself. Conflicted between missing his warmth and being relieved that he let go first.

"Would you like me to call you a cab? Or perhaps ask the company driver to take you home? I won't feel at ease letting you go home like this. Or we can ask Belle. Or you could stay here. I have too many rooms anyway. You can choose any one you want. I won't disturb you. The doors have locks. Or I could stay in a hotel. Or I could go up to Uncle Chewie. Or I could book you o-"

"Ben."

He was mumbling something else and pacing.

"Ben. It's okay. I'll stay. I don't think I can go home to an empty flat." She said. Quite defeated.

"You'll stay?" She saw his ears twitch.

"Yes. I'll stay. Thank you Ben, for letting me."

"You're welcome." He looked down. His face shy.

She looked down too. Suddenly feeling self conscious.

"Hot chocolate? I take mine with extra milk."

"Okay. I'll boil some up." Ben looked for the saucepan, and heated two cups of milk. He took the Cadbury powder from the cupboards, and he placed 8 scoops.

He really should thank Belle more. She really did organized it like he did.

"I'll make breakfast tomorrow. As a thank you for your hospitality." She offered,

"You don't have to. I'm not doing this to get anything." He focused on stirring the chocolate milk.

That made Rey smile. She remembered Dahlia.

He poured it into a clay teapot and prepared two small cups. He set it on the coffee table, and Rey perched herself on the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"My mom likes to drink it this way. She says it makes her feel less guilty than drinking a whole mug."

He went into the room nearest the living room, and found a comforter in the closet.

He took it out, and made his way to the couch where Rey seated herself.

"May I?" He opened the blanket up.

"Yes. Thank you." She crouched forward to let him cover her. It was such a soft blanket.

"Could you tell me about yourself?" She said while blowing the steam of the cup.

"What would you like to know?" He clutched the cup in his hand.

"What's your happiest memory?"

"I'm not sure I feel happiness the same as everyone but I do remember something with my family."

"Okay." She encouraged him to continue.

He put his feet up on the too small armchair and put down the cup.

"My mom would play piano every Sunday. She would sit me on her lap, and teach me how to read notes. At first, I didn't like playing with my left hand. I was so stubborn. She played the left hand for me, and she told me to put my hand over hers. My dad came by from the site, and he started singing. I felt content. It was peaceful."

She looked at him fondly, and she tried to imagine him as a toddler. Cherubic. Curly haired. She was sure he looked like an angel.

"Why did _you_ learn the violin?"

She smiled sadly.

"My adoptive mother played when she was younger. I would always see her opening the case to tune it, but she never played in front of me. She told me her hands weren't cooperating anymore. I asked if she would let me try. She taught me the basics, and she let someone from her church teach me. It helped me cope with my parents' and my uncle's deaths. Somehow, it helped me organize my thoughts and focus. She was a proper mother. I miss her as well. She passed away when I finished my Master's."

"Don't you go back home to the UK during the holidays?"

"No. I go to the Kenobis. He's my adoptive uncle. I have nothing to go back to in the UK. I let someone manage my adoptive mother 's estate, and I come back during the summer for a week or so, then come back here."

"You've worked hard."

"Yes. I do." She laughed. A tinge of sadness could still be heard.

"Did you have anything planned for tomorrow?"

"No. I was just gonna watch some movies on Netflix and sleep."

"Would you mind showing me around the CBD? I want to go to the Ayala Triangle or other places..."

"No. Not at all. I have some clothes I prepared to change into after the site visit still in my car. I'll just get them tomorrow."

"You can shower if you want. I'll lend you my pajamas. Although they might be too big..."

"Just the top would be okay. Do you have a washer and a dryer?"

"Yeah, it's behind the kitchen. Just make yourself at home. I'll leave the clothes outside your door. The toilet has towels and everything."

He went to the kitchen to look for a laundry bag, and as expected he found one underneath the third cabinet to the left.

Belle needs a raise.

_A cotton pajama shirt and boxers? Would that be okay?_

_Relax._ _She's part of the family. She needs underwear._

\---

She closed the door and turned the lock. For safety. She made her way to the en-suite, and it did have complete toiletries. There was even a face wash she didn't dislike.

She heard him knock, and hung something on the doorknob. She waited for his footsteps to walk further. She opened it silently, and found a laundry bag with a blue cotton pajama top and a pair of boxers. It was huge. His feet were huge too. US size 13... She wondered how big could his…

_Never mind._

He's family. He's Luke's nephew for heaven's sake! He's off limits.

Besides Mephalda surely fancies him. She kept fluttering her lashes at him during the presentation!

There was also the issue that men can't be trusted. But Obet treated her well enough. Her friends in University were understanding enough.

_But…_

She gave up.

She went into the shower and washed up.

***

She closed her eyes and remembered his warmth. It brought goosebumps to her body but it didn't feel like fear. She rubbed her breasts, and she felt sensitive there. Her hand made its way to her center. She rubbed the tip softly, and she shivered. She remembered in the dream, he encircled it softly. She doesn't usually have the need to masturbate, but it felt good right now. Her college girl friends forced her to watch feminist pornography, and she remembered how to do it. She rubbed the outside first, and then gently the outer rim. Gliding her hand over the hood. She moaned. Could he have heard her? She covered her mouth with her left hand, and she made circles around her breasts. She felt something building inside her. She was close. She made her rhythm go faster. Then, she felt it. She felt weak at the knees, and she kept on shivering.

_So that was an orgasm_.

***

She could feel her face warming. She did that in someone else's house.

She was that wound up. _Ughhh._

She scrubbed harder than she was used to. She washed warm first, and finished with a rush of cold shower.

Thankfully, there was a hair dryer and a toothbrush. She brushed her teeth, then, dried her hair. The cotton pajamas were soft and warm. The hem reached her knees and seemed modest enough. The too-big boxers needed to be rolled up so it wouldn't fall off her.

She put her laundry in the bag, and checked to see if Ben was outside. When the coast was clear, she proceeded to the laundry area.

She loaded it up, and put the timer on her phone.

Back in the bedroom, she locked the door. She eyed the bed, and gave in. She put her phone on the nightstand and pulled up the covers to her chin. It was warm and the blankets were heavy, almost like a good hug.

She remembered Ben again. His gentleness. He made her question, if men really weren't the enemy. She finally drifted off to sleep. Having the memory of his warmth staying on her skin.

\---

Ben finished his rituals, and tucked himself in the bed. He decided to bring out the weighted blanket tonight since he felt shaken.

Rey looked so strong but when he held her, he felt like he could crush her. She felt like a flower closing its petals.

Flowers knew when to open and when to close.

He felt her tense up before he let go. He didn't want to hurt her.

She's been through a lot. He didn't usually care about the education written on the CVs that he reviewed, so he didn't know much about her past. He focused on the projects she was currently handling, and he regretted it. He resolves to investigate when she leaves.

Rey's parents, her uncle, and her adoptive mother had died. So much death for a person so young. He felt shame for his previous problems. His situation paled in comparison. She kept on living.

He admired her, and he's only known her for less than 48 hours. Is this just another passing fascination? What's happening to him?

_Am I crazy?_

He covered his face with his hands and breathed in. The smell of soap comforting him.

He finally felt sleep calling to him. He rested his eyes, and hoped to see a wavy haired brunette running to meet him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vocalise - https://youtu.be/1wTEylWQfcM
> 
> mythical perfect acoustics - https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/16/whisper-it-greek-amphitheatre-legendary-acoustics-myth-epidaurus


	5. Chapter 5 - Duet: a musical composition for two performers in which the performers have equal importance to the piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Duet. You give and you get. Will they finally admit to their feelings?

_He traced her lips, and counted the freckles on her face. He caressed her hair and he leaned down to kiss her._

And then, he woke up.

He checked the clock beside him. 5:30am.

His weighted blanket being lifted by his morning wood.

_Again. What am I 15?_

He started to rub one off in the Shower... He started but he remembered Rey was only three rooms down from his. Could he? But it's normal, correct? Maybe even she…

_Ugh no._

He shower again and made it really cold. Scrub harder. Brush teeth. Wash face. Shave. Aftershave. Moisturize. Sunscreen.

Dry off. Moisturizer. Sunscreen.

Workout clothes.

Water. Antihistamine. Yoghurt.

He reviewed the map to the boxing gym, and got his gym bag.

Gloves, wrap, towel, change of clothes, shoes and socks.

He left a note for Rey in the kitchen to tell her to help herself. He hoped that she'll wake up _after_ he gets back.

He went out, and jogged to the gym. Hopefully, this will calm his raging hormones.

When he reached the gym, the instructor was tough but firm. Belle had the foresight to make an appointment for him, and he was once again grateful. They did conditioning exercises first, then, they did some shadow boxing. The instructor looked pleased with him, and told him that he'll see him again the day after tomorrow.

It was a good workout, and peace found him again. He toweled off, and changed his shirt in the locker rooms.

Quiet. Eerie.

Then, he remembered it was a holiday, and he might have been the only one up this early, besides the instructor.

He cooled down with a light jog back to UNO. He wondered, if Rey was awake already.

\------

Rey woke up with a jolt. Hands that weren't his touching the tips of her hair light. She moved to touch it, and realized it wasn't as long as it was. It's been so long since he was alive. She was safe.

She was in a stranger's house. She wasn't safe.

But he wasn't a stranger. He didn't feel like one anymore. Yet, it's only been less than 48 hours.

She felt numb, and she made her way to the kitchen. A note on the fridge:

_Rey:_

_I just went out for a bit. Help yourself to the food. There's fruit and oats soaking in the ref._

_-ben_

She opened up and took out the oats and some mangoes.

She found the knives, and started slicing two for herself and Ben when he came back.

The oats were good. It had almonds, pistachios, and dried cranberries. The mangoes go well with it.

She ate on the bar at the counter top. She couldn't bear sitting at the dining table. Surprisingly, Ben cleaned up after himself. The place was clean even after her _moment_ last night.

The comforter was still in the couch, but it was folded lightly, and rested on the armrest.

She chewed slowly, and reflected again. Why did she allow herself to show weakness in front of Ben?

She forgot her rules. Why was she even here? Maybe she should have asked the company driver to take her home, but that would be too embarrassing for her. What would Architect say? They weren't doing anything wrong though. Ben is a good person. Or something. She wasn't sure.

She managed to finish the oats. She washed up, and wiped down the plates.

She made her way to the laundry room and found her clothes dry. It was still warm. She found some hangers, and shook it off. It looks presentable. It can be worn again. Her underwear was dry as well.

She made her way back to the bedroom, when she heard a low pitch buzzing sound.

Sweat mixed with the smell of the sun. Ben looked at her, and they stared at each other.

She covered her mouth in horror.

"Please turn around." She said in a pleading voice. Ben pivoted to open the door again.

"No, don't leave. It's just... I'm not decent. Can you wait until you hear the bedroom door shut?"

"Okay." He rested his head on the door. Trying to maintain some sense of sanity. He heard the door shut, and he turned around.

He couldn't un-see it.

She had milky long legs, and her wavy dark brown hair cascaded down just below her collar bone. His pajama top reached to her knees, and his boxers were peeking underneath.

She was beautiful. In strength and in weakness.

Something clenched at his chest.

_Heartburn probably. His stomach rumbled, and he made his way to the fridge._

Rey sliced him some mangoes.

He decided to take a shower first. He was going to make it a very cold one.

\---

Ben was fresh again. He got the oats and the mangoes from the fridge, and ate.

He toasted some bread, and found some almond butter.

The workout made him hungrier than he was used to, and he tried his best to chew slowly.

10am.

His phone was ringing, and Hux was calling on face time.

He did this to annoy him surely.

He answered thinking it might be about AKR.

"Benjamin Solo in the house!~ Phasma asked me to call you. We're together at this party at my house. You're missing out man."

"How is the studio going without me?"

"Aw it's been alright, mate. We're sending you reports right? You're really gonna ignore Phas? She's here you know."

"How is it there Ben? You didn't even tell me you'll be leaving." Phasma said. Anger well hidden.

"I don't think I have to let you know. You're no longer in my company."

"Don't be so cruel Benjamin." Hux drawled in his most condescending voice.

"Will that be all? Isn't it late over there? Don't you need to go back to your Halloween party?" Ben said clearly annoyed.

"We're just curious if you found someone to warm your bed Ben. You're not getting any younger. You work too hard. You don't go out. You just do things on your own all the time. I bet even Poppy would agree with me when I sa-"

"Don't talk to me about Poppy. Please."

"Okay Ben. Remember what I said! The party scene should be awesome there! Make use of it!"

"Ben?" Rey called out to him.

_Shit._

Hux and Phasma's eyes opened wide.

"Who was that?" Phasma said with clenched jaw. Anger not well hidden.

"Okay-nice-talking-to-you-bye." He said abruptly and clicked the end button just fast enough to hear Hux' trademark guffaw on the background.

"Ben?" She found him sitting at the counter.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for earlier. I'm not used to being over friends' houses..." She said looking down.

"No. It's okay. I should have told you how to use the do not disturb option on the security system."

"Thank you for letting me stay and wash my clothes and for breakfast. I was going to ask, if you have a comb I could borrow? My hair's in a bit of a disarray."

He found the drawer with miscellaneous items, and found an unopened comb.

"Here. It's yours"

"Thank you."

"Do you want to go home? I can ask someone to drive you."

"No, I promised I would accompany you today. Besides, I think a walk with do me good."

"Okay."

"Ayala Triangle first?"

"Yes."

\---

Surprisingly, it was a rainy day. Ben and Rey had to share this enormous golf umbrella they found at his apartment.

Rey led them to an underpass, and when they emerged, they were there. It was quiet. A handful of people were walking about and queuing up at the bus stops. The triangle was surrounded by three major thoroughfares. Each leading to a different part of Metro Manila.

They were both quiet. Focusing on not stepping on puddles.

Ben almost hit his head on the walkway's roof. He wasn't made for this place.

Rey asked to switch, so he wouldn't get hurt.

They walked past the giant stone spheres, and found themselves in a huge arched area.

Rey explained that this was the past headquarters of the Makati Stock Exchange and the Philippine Stock Exchange. It was designed by one of the national artists of the Philippines, Leandro V. Locsin. His office was also along Ayala Avenue. Now, it is one of the premier office spaces for numerous companies.

The park was lovely and peaceful. You could hear some birds chirping and cicadas humming.

They walked around for a bit, and then, she broke the silence. "Want to see another park?"

"Sure."

They walked through another underpass and they surfaced at a small mall.

The rain was letting up, and Ben closed the umbrella.

They went straight, and after three intersections, he saw the park.

It felt more intimate than the one he visited yesterday. He could see some children playing around.

"There are numerous communities of different nationalities that live around this area. They even have a Saturday market. You like going to those, yes? My condominium is nearby here, and I usually walk to work when I don't need to drive somewhere."

"I see. Do you want to sit?"

"The benches are wet. Your clothes might stain."

"I don't mind but I brought some things." He reached for his satchel, and brought out two apples, and two small hand towels for each of them.

"Good thinking."

They wiped down the bench, and sat to enjoy the afternoon sun. The canopy of the trees provided enough shade to shield them from the sun. The cool breeze blew and rustled the leaves of the trees above them.

Rey bit into her apple and smiled. It really was peaceful. She glanced at Ben crunching softly on his, and he looked content as well. She gathered the cores, and threw them at a nearby trash can. They used Ben's towels to wipe their hands, and they sat in silence once more.

A child approached them, and offered them a banana.

"Want one?" The golden haired cherub spoke sweetly.

" Thank you but I think that was for you. Where's your mum and dad?"

"They're not with me, but they'll be back. My older sister is just over there." She pointed to a teenager talking to another teenager.

"Are you in love with each other?" The child bluntly asked.

"Why did you think that?" Rey asked. She looked to Ben, and he looked away. His ears and the nape of his neck visibly turning red.

"He looks like my dad does when he's looking at my mom, and you look like my mom when she's looking at my dad." Pointing at Ben and Rey accusingly.

"Oh we're just...friends." she smiled.

"You can love your friends. " The child debated.

"Yes. Yes, you can." She smiled.

The older sister ran towards their bench, and picked up the child.

"I'm sorry. Was she bothering your date? She's a bit too bold sometimes."

The child laughed as her sister chastised her and poked her in the tummy.

"We're okay. She's beautiful. What are your names?"

"I'm Jess and this little bug is Micah."

"I'm Rey and he's Ben. Nice to meet you Jess and Micah." She stood and extended her hand to the children.

The child smiled and shook her hand. Jess extended the one that wasn't holding Micah, and grasped hers.

"Ben?"

"Likewise." He said looking down.

"Okay. We'll go ahead. It's lunch time anyways. Have a nice date!" Jess strapped Micah into the carrier, and walked away.

She looked at Ben, and realized that they were wearing similar colors. Both grey and dark jeans.

_I_ _guess we really do look like we're on a date._

Her face warmed at the idea. She fanned herself, telling Ben that it was getting humid, and she knew of a good place nearby to eat lunch.

He stood up, and held the umbrella firmly.

"I'm sorry Rey. I don't like being misunderstood. I'm just... I think..."

"It's okay. We could make this a date. A friend date? You know. Micah wasn't wrong."

"You don't mind being lumped together with me?"

"No. Why would you say that?"

"Nothing." He covered his face with his hands and breathed in and out. 4. 6. 8. And release.

"Okay. Tell me when you're ready." She smiled, and held out her hand. He took it gently.

"Friends hold hands. Right?" She asked smiling softly.

His grip wasn't firm, as if he was just waiting for her to let go.

They ate lunch at a nearby salad shop, they each got a wrap and salad. Rey tried to distract him. Telling her stories about the projects she's been working on. How she designed the theater. What methods she usually uses when computing.

When they were finished, he spoke. Sure of what he wanted to say.

"Rey."

"Yes?"

"The child was correct in her assumption."

She waited for him to continue.

"I think I like you. It's only been two days, but I like you. If you'll allow me, please let me get to know you." He clasped his hands together, and she could see he was trying hard not to shake.

"The child was correct in her assumption about me too." She mirrored his response.

He smiled. A true smile reaching his eyes.

"Thank you. I'm not good at pretending. I'm relieved I don't have to lie in front of you." He tried his best to look into her eyes.

"You don't have to." She held out her hand, and he reached and squeezed it.

The heartburn disappeared when she said it. The truth really does set you free.

He debated if this revelation prevented her from going back to his unit.

She debated if she should invite her over to her flat.

He decided that it would be best that she went home.

"I think I'll go home now. I'm better, and my flat is just over there." She pointed at the building across the park.

"Okay."

"You can find your way back?"

"Yes."

"I'll just get my car when we get back to work. I don't have meetings during the holidays, and tomorrow is a holiday. Just so you know. It's different here."

"Yes. November 1 and 2 are both holidays."

"Correct. Okay."

"May I walk you home?" Ben asked timidly.

"Okay."

He held out her hand, and she put hers in his. His grip was firmer than earlier. Resolute and purposeful.

They weaved through the park. Rey trying out light conversation. Ben answered as best he can, and they reached her building.

"Would you like to have some tea?" She asked at the lobby.

"I can't drink caffeine too much but I would like to go up."

Rey waved at the guard, and Ben logged in. With visitor card in hand, they went up.

Her rooms were modest. Two bedroom unit with a kitchen and laundry area. One bedroom had her studio and her library.

Rey made tea for herself, and gave Ben a glass of water. She set it on her coffee table and sat beside him on the couch.

They simultaneously took a sip of their drinks.

Ben broke the silence.

"I don't know how to do this." He said holding his hands together.

"Neither do I." She sighed.

"So, you never.. ?"

"Yes. I haven't. No flings. No boyfriends. I was too busy surviving. You?"

"No. No girlfriends. No relationships. You have to know something about me though."

"What is it?"

"I have autism. I'm on the spectrum, and I behave differently with some aspects of life."

"What aspects?" She knew of autism but he didn't seem like he had it. She thought he was just too introverted.

"I can't keep eye contact. I don't like surprises. I can't handle light touches. I have difficulty processing too much information at once. I always need a second opinion. I speak with no filter, and that makes me afraid to hurt people. I had to learn how to read emotions. I see patterns people don't see, and I use music as an output. I don't like seams. I don't like feeling constricted. I can't handle loud places and bright lights. That's all that comes to mind right now. "

"Thank you for telling me. Have I been hurting you?" She worried her lip.

"No. You haven't hurt me. The elevator when we met bothered me because I was afraid the people in front might touch me too lightly. Please tell me, if I hurt you. I'm slow in picking things up, and I don't want to hurt you. If it's possible, I never want to hurt you."

"Did holding my hand bother you?"

"No. You asked permission. That's more than what others do." He shook his head lightly and smiled.

"How should I touch you Ben?" She whispered. Embarrassed at her question.

"Like this." He asked for her hand, and he put it between his own and squeezed.

"Anything lighter than this would hurt me. It's hard to explain but the sensation doesn't leave me for hours or days." He needs to remember to tell Belle. He could still feel an odd sensation in his arm and shoulder.

"May I try touching your arm?"

He held out his arm, and she gripped firmly but not too much.

"Harder." He said. Closing his eyes.

She applied more pressure.

"Yes." His voice deepened in pleasure.

"I'm going to let go now." She slowly let his arm go. She saw the mark of her hand and wondered, if it was really okay.

"How about you Rey? Do you have any requests to make for me?"

"Let's not tell Architect and Engineer Luke yet."

"May I ask why?"

"They might think I'm only after you because of your power. We've only known each other two days Ben. I don't want to rush things."

"I understand. I won't tell them. Can I ask my mom for advice though? She won't tell them if I ask, and I'll tell her my reasons."

"Okay. Will she believe you when you tell her I'm not after your power?"

"My mom will understand. She knows I can't lie, and I want to believe you Rey." He looked at her intently then looked away.

"There's another thing Ben. When we get back to work, I'll be busy for the whole of November working on the Arena, so I might not see you often. We could message it other. You can add me on Telegram or FaceTime me."

"Can we at least meet for dinner twice a week?" He implored her.

"I'll even make it thrice." She laughed and he smiled at her remark.

"Should I stay Rey?" He asked with a seriousness that surprised them both. His eyes tracing the outline of her face. His hand started reaching towards her, and she stopped it, gripping with the pressure he showed her.

"I have to tell you something too, but not today. I like it when you ask permission to touch me. That's all you need to know for now."

"May I touch you today?"

"I'm sorry Ben. Not today. Thank you for asking though. Let's meet up again tomorrow? I'll cook for you here. Lunch until dinner time. We can catch a movie or have a picnic in the park. Which would you like?"

"Let's do both." He smiled, and she nodded.

She took a fortifying breath and said, "Ben, can you kiss me?"

"I don't know how." He looked down in shame.

"It's okay. I'm gonna lean into you okay?"

"Okay. I'm still not allowed to touch you." He confirmed.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I'll touch you though. Is that okay?"

"Okay. I'm ready."

She laughed and leaned in closer.

Her lips touched his lightly at first.

She leaned back and whispered, "Do you trust me Ben?"

"I do."

She moved to sit on his lap, and she cradled his head. Holding firmly, she leaned in again. She tried to make him open his mouth, and he opened. It was an all new sensation all together. She could feel him gripping the sofa to not touch her, and she pulled on his hair. Hard. Unafraid to hurt him because he gave her permission to do so.

He moaned in pleasure, and she groaned against him. It felt like they were drinking each others presence. 

They came up for air and they looked at each other.

Ben allowed himself to look at her eyes. He saw her vulnerability and surely she saw his.

Rey squeezed his clenched hand to ask him to let her hold it. He couldn't open them, and he was shaking a bit.

From the adrenaline, she guessed.

She pried his hand open, and brought his hand to her face. She leaned her face into it, and said, "Thank you, Ben. May I give you a hug?"

He nodded. Still breathless. He allowed her to envelop him. She led his hands to her upper back, laid her head on his shoulder, and they sat immobile, relishing in a silent victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fell in love with writing children. I do enjoy talking to them like adults whenever I come across them. Never approach a child, and look for the parents when engaging!
> 
> I don't claim to an expert on Autism Spectrum disorder, but a part of me believes that my elder brother has autism. He was a late speaker, and everything I described Ben to be here and then some. My mom was just really understanding, and we were never tested.
> 
> Also, I took some ideas (or quoted some parts) from The Bride Test by Helen Hoang. I greatly recommend it if you're a fan of modern romances.
> 
> Also, I am not sure if what Rey experienced can be called PTSD, but she surely has OCD. I have OCD, and I gave some of my traits to her. Mental illness and brain development conditions are not my forte.
> 
> The parks they visited:  
> Ben - Legazpi Active Park and Washington Sycip Park  
> Ben and Rey - The Ayala Triangle ground, Jaime C. Velasquez Park (aka Salcedo Park, Salcedo Village.)
> 
> Letting Rey have control - I'm not sure this is the way to solve people having difficulty with sexual assault, but I think it did make sense.


	6. Chapter 6 - Marcato (short form: Marc.; Italian for marked) is a musical instruction indicating a note, chord, or passage is to be played louder or more forcefully than the surrounding music.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reactions.  
> Misunderstandings?  
> Therapy.  
> Children!  
> A cameo from our favorite pilot?! Will we see them more in the future?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I welcome the new readers. Thank you too to those that have stuck around from the beginning. I was feeling disheartened because I kept comparing myself to other Reylo writers, but I understand that there is room for everyone in this community. I continue to learn more from these writers, and please check my bookmarks for recommendations! I've been loving so much, that I can't keep up with the content! I really desire to bring my version of Rey and Ben to justice! I've become quite attached to them, and I just don't want to rush their relationship by pushing more mature circumstances, since it seems inappropriate for their situation (for now). I hope you enjoy this balanced chapter. A little dark at the beginning and a little light at the end.

Ben left after dinner. Rey decided to just order some chicken wings and pasta.

They were comfortable in their silence. They knew that they will speak when they have to. They exchanged small smiles, and didn't venture beyond hand holding.

Rey escorted him until the lobby.

"Text me when you get back?"

"Yes. May I kiss you good night?"

She nodded. He leaned down, and placed a light kiss on her lips, then her forehead.

"Good night Rey. I'll see you tomorrow."

She opened her arms and that was his signal. He gave her a good squeeze.

They let go at the same time, and he stepped back. Waved, and turned around.

She smiled to herself. Nervous of the future.

_Tomorrow._

\---

Ben could skip home, if that were an option or if he were that kind of person but the journey was all a blur because he felt happy.

This was happy.

The 1812 overture kept playing in his head, and he felt like the Russians defeated Napoleon all over again.

He reached UNO, and glanced at his watch. He didn't expect it be 9pm already.

He steeled himself to call his mother. He hasn't given her a verbal update, only emails since Monday.

He wondered what she would think of Rey. Right now, she felt like what was missing inside him. If it felt too fast, he didn't mind. He's been waiting for someone like her his whole life. His thoughts turned to marriage. She would look beautiful in a white dress. She was great with children. She'll be a wonderful mother.

He was indeed going too fast.

First, he needs to make that phone call.

He was picking up his phone when it vibrated.

A FaceTime from his mother. Perfect.

"Hi Mom. How are you?"

"Do you have news for me Ben?"

"Yes Mom."

"Hux told me he heard a girl's voice when he last called. Is she the news?" Leia said almost gravely.

"Yes, Mom."

She laughed and gave him her warmest smile. "Ha! I knew it! Is it a nice Filipino young lady? They say that Filipinos really do know how to get it going."

Ben felt warmth coursing through his ears and his neck.

"No Mom. She isn't Filipino but she's nice Mom. You'll like her. She's a gifted architect."

"She's someone from UNO?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Oh. I get it now. You're sure she's not after your money? Or a promotion?"

"Yes, I'm sure she's not after those. She doesn't need me to succeed."

"I see. Okay. Okay. When I told you to enjoy your vacation, I didn't mean in that way."

"Mom."

"Well, you're both protected right? Always use protection Ben. When your dad knocked me up, it was because he forgot protection. Prophylactics my son are the way to go."

"Mom."

"Also, you've only been there around two days? Enjoy your time together. Surely, you're serious about her."

"Yes, Mom. I am."

"Remember what I told you. Respect the girl. Consent. You know it Ben."

"Yes, Mom."

"You'll marry her when you go back?"

"Ye- what?"

"You said you're serious about her. That leads to marriage Ben. It has to be both your decisions though. Try to walk in agreement. Don't use a baby as an excuse to get married."

He became quiet.

"I'll try, Mom. I'm only here until July."

"That's more than half a year, Ben. Surely by then you'll know if you want her for the rest of your life, and if she'll still want you. Did you tell her?"

"Yes, Mom."

Leia raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"She was okay with it. I taught her how to do it, and she learned quickly."

"That's good son. I'm happy for you."

"Please don't tell Uncle Chewie and Uncle Luke."

"Why not? I'm sure they'll also be happy for you."

"We'll be one to tell them when we're both ready. Please Mom. That's all I ask."

"Okay Ben. Anything for you."

"Do you need a report on UNO?"

"Not tonight. Can you tell me about her?"

"What do you want to know Mom?"

His Mom drilled him some questions, and Ben was surprised that he knew those things about her. He took notes of the things he didn't know, and promised to tell her when she called.

"Thank you Mom. This means a lot to me."

"I'm sure it does. Any woman will be blessed to have you Ben."

He felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"I'm glad I lived Mom. I didn't know life could feel like this Mom. It's too much." His eyes betrayed him at last.

"Oh Ben. I wish I was with you. We're so blessed you lived Ben. Life is still so promising. We need to keep on. You can feel so much, and it can feel too much, but it is worth it."

"I can't believe I'm feeling homesick right now. I'm nearing 40."

Leia laughed. "We're all human Ben. No matter how old we get. It's late there already, and I need to go to my Pilates class."

"You're taking Pilates now?"

"For my back Ben. You know how it is. I love you Ben. Don't forget it."

"I love you too Mom. Thank you for loving me."

Leia waved and ended the call.

His heart felt full. He was going to spend more time with Rey tomorrow.

He did his nightly rituals, and he prepared for bed.

He messaged her that he was home, and that his Mom took the news well. He put his phone on the nightstand, and laid down.

When he tuck the weighted blanket to his chin, he put his hands to his lips. He felt Rey's lips against his, kissing him good night. He sighed contently, and he slept.

\---

Rey knew what she had to do. The last time she let Ben touch her, she had nightmares. She will need this time apart to prepare herself.

She felt that Ben could be it for her. The dreaded but anticipated "it". But right now, her heart felt excitement more than fear. She felt at home with him. She hadn't felt like home in a while.

She knew she needed to ask for help. She replied to Ben's message, and she sent one off to someone who could help.

As she prepared to sleep, she hoped that her dreams will only be about Ben. Not something invasive or fearful. Let it be about Ben or none at all.

\------

Rey woke with resolve. Thankfully, she remembered no dreams. She didn't need to meet Ben until lunch, and she will have to get some groceries to cook for their meals for the day.

She went first to the hospital. She knew of one psychiatrist that didn't take vacations during actual holidays.

She knocked on the door, and Liz answered.

"Hi Liz, I messaged last night, can Doctor Kanata see me today?"

"Yes. She just arrived. She mentioned you'd be coming by."

Liz opened the door to Doctor Kanata's office. She helped her cope when Dahlia died. She came with strong recommendations from her adoptive aunt.

"Rey. How have you been?" She was a tall lady, with mixed heritage. Her inflections when speaking were British, Nigerian, or Filipino. It always gave her comfort.

"I think I'm falling apart Doctor" She smiled sadly.

"I waited for you to come back. It's been too long dear."

_Too long meaning 2 years._

"I thought I could handle it. Work was good, and Obet was helping me. I was able to get through it but I'm remembering him again. And... And..." She cried. She was afraid. She was excited but also afraid. How could something so sudden last so long as this. More than ten years have passed, and she still can't erase his touch. It was too much. She was so tired of fighting the demons of her past.

"Okay Rey. Let's start again. What do you want from our sessions?"

"I want to be intimate with people. To let them know who I really am, and to let them touch me without my body rejecting them."

"Are you still going to refuse medication?"

Rey sighed and felt herself deflate.

"Okay. That's a no, then." The doctor noted in her file; then, continued, "Do you want another option?"

"Yes."

"Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might help you, but think about the medication. It doesn’t make you weaker Rey. It won't lessen your value as human being. If it makes you function, it won't be bad right?"

"I'll think about it." _Knowing that she might be inclined to refuse, she will think about it, definitely._

"How's your work?"

She detailed her amount of projects, the passing of her adoptive aunt, Kenobi's resignation, her new role as a partner.

"You're under a lot of stress. Have you been taking time for yourself?"

She stilled. She admitted to her that she hadn't. She's even been working during the weekends. It was good that Ben gave her a reason to take the holidays. She's been lacking sleep and her meals were poor.

Her body was shutting down.

"I see. What actions are you willing to take?"

She detailed that she'll delegate her tasks more. She'll refuse to work during the weekends. She'll aim for at least 8 hours of sleep. She'll start cooking again, since she remembered that made her happy.

"Exercise?"

She hadn't had time for that either. She was so exhausted at any point of the day that she didn't know when to do it.

"Were you close with Layla?"

Layla was Kenobi's wife. She valued her. She remembered every good thing she had received from her. She was another mother figure for her. She was understanding. She never forced herself on her. She was kind.

"Yes. I forgot that I was." Her eyes looking up to stop the tears.

"It's alright to grieve Rey. It's alright to grieve for your parents, Dahlia and Layla. That just means you love them Rey. You don't need to drown in work. You can grieve."

She let her tears fall again, and Doctor Kanata gave her another box of tissues.

She calmed herself, and she tried her best to still her tears.

"It's okay Rey. Let them fall. Tears have anesthetic properties supposedly. You don't need to hide them from me or from anyone."

"Is it okay to grieve for the uncle who abused me?"

"He was your uncle before he was your abuser. You had no control in that. If it is in your heart, then let it go."

"I keep making excuses for him, but did he deserve it? It's my fault he's dead."

"No. It's not Rey. That's just how life is. You're not responsible for any decisions except yours. You're not responsible for what happened to you."

Rey was quiet for a moment, and let it sink in.

"Do you have anything you're looking forward to Rey?" The doctor smiled. She always aimed to end on a lighter note.

"There's a man who made his interest towards me known."

"I see. Do you have an interest in him as well?"

"Yes." She blushed. She felt it from her head to her toes. She remembered how she kissed him, and how he kissed back. Like they were breathing each other in.

"Is he the reason you came back?"

"I think he was the catalyst, yes."

"And from your goals earlier, you want to be intimate with him?"

"Yes."

"Have you tried it yet?"

"Yes. The first time he hugged me, I had nightmares about my uncle. Last night, I didn't dream, so I think it was good."

"What was the difference between the two?"

"He had no control during the second time."

"No control?"

"Yes. I asked him to not touch me, and when I decided I wanted it, I led his hands toward me."

"I see. I think that's good progress Rey. He was okay with it?"

"Yes. He said he doesn't want to hurt me. I haven't told him about my past. I couldn't risk breaking down in front of him."

"Why Rey?"

"Why what?"

"Why can't you risk breaking down in front of him?"

"I'm afraid if I open up everything that he will break me. That he will think I'm damaged goods. Or that he will pity me. Or he'll leave me again. Everyone leaves me."

"Not by choice Rey. You know that. Humans are attracted to risk Rey. We want to know what will happen when you put baking soda in vinegar. We want to know, what happens when you add one and two. You just need to decide if the reward is worth it.

"Was the love you gained from loving your parents, Dahlia, and Layla not worth loving them? Was putting your faith in a stranger like Dahlia when you were 13 unfounded?"

"No. I don't regret loving them. I just... I miss them. I miss them so much." She covered her face with her hands, trying to stop the shaking her body felt.

"It's okay to miss someone Rey, but don't focus on your past too much that you forget about the present. This man..."

"Ben." She lit up, when she said her name. She felt it. The doctor felt it too.

"Thank you. Is Ben worth it? Do you trust him to love you despite everything?" Her expression softening.

"We're just dating for now. I don't know if I love him."

"Okay. Will spending time with him, getting to know him, receiving his affections be worth your time and your emotional investment?"

She remembered Ben's gentleness. His passion for architecture and music. His desire to protect her.

"Yes. I think he's worth it."

"Then, that's your answer. I think you should continue allowing yourself to control the relationship, for now. He will understand, if you tell him why. Do you think you're ready to tell him?"

"I... I think I am."

"Okay. Text me if you need anything. If I'm not available, Liz will answer for me. Okay? I'll see you next Saturday for the mindfulness sessions?"

"Yes. Thank you Doctor I forgot how helpful this was."

"I hope it will help dear." She smiled and opened the door for her.

She paid, and left for the market. There was one nearby, and it was a good thing she remembered to bring her trolley. She was making sandwiches for lunch, and chicken and spinach skillet pie and minestrone soup for dinner. She will need all the comfort she can get.

\------

Ben logged in, and made his way to Rey's flat. He rang the bell, and she opened the door. She was wearing a sundress and a cardigan. Her eyes were puffy, and a bit red around the edges. Her lips were redder than usual, like she has been biting it raw.

"Are you okay Rey?"

"What happened to hello or good afternoon?" She laughed weakly.

"Hello. Good afternoon. I missed you. May I have a hug?"

She opened her arms, and he remembered her instructions. Always hands on the upper back.

He felt her surrender. _It was only noon, and she had a long day already?_

"Come in. I'll ready the basket. It's sunny today." She said holding his hand. He still marveled at the sensation.

She gathered three containers of sandwiches, a bag of crisps, apples (sliced and soaked with lemon to prevent oxidation), extra apples, juice, water and reusable cups, and a large picnic blanket.

"What kind of sandwiches are those?" He said hovering around her.

"Salmon, cucumber and cream cheese, and chickpea tuna salad." She looked proud of herself. That made him smile.

"Sounds delicious. Thank you for lunch."

"Taste it first." She chuckled.

"May I bring the basket?"

"Thank you. Put the muscles to good use right?" She raised her eyebrow in amusement.

He nodded.

They went their way downstairs, and the guard told Ben to keep the key since they would be coming back later.

It _was_ a sunny day.

Ben held out his hand to Rey when they crossed the street, and she took it.

They walked towards the grass, and laid down the blanket. She still wore her cardigan, since the wind was a bit brisk.

She sat with her legs crossed, and he did as well. The blanket was big enough for both of them.

"Why do you have a picnic blanket this big?"

"I like to sunbathe during sunny days. I'll bring this out with a book and some fruit, and I could stay here for a whole morning."

"Oh that's nice." He was trying not to stare at her lovely neck and shoulders.

"Do the freckles bother you?"she asked, suddenly, trying to cover her shoulders and collarbone.

"No, they're becoming of you. I wanted to trace them, if you'd let me."

Her cheeks turned pink at his honesty, and he moved to sit beside her.

She pulled out the food containers and some wet wipes. They cleaned up their hands, and dug in.

"Rey!" Micah from yesterday shouted and ran towards them.

"Hi Micah. Is your sister with you?"

"Yes! Mom told us to go on a picnic. They haven't gone home yet."

Jess followed Micah, with two sandwich bags and a blanket.

"Hi Rey. Hello Ben."

Ben tried to smile back but it ended up looking pained.

"You're funny." Micah said while she tried to mimic Ben's expression.

Ben moved to match his eye level with Micah, and looked at her intently.

"I'm sorry Micah. I was rude to you yesterday. I'm Ben." He held out his large hand, and she took his hand and made him give her a high-five. She giggled at his surprise, and it didn't hurt him.

"S'okay Ben. You're my friend now right?"

"Yes. I'll be your friend. I wanted to thank you too. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have told Rey that I liked her." He said while clutching the child's hands in gratitude.

Rey marveled at his straightforwardness.

"Hee-hee you looove her don't you?" She made a heart gesture with her hands

He smiled, this time not forced, and he didn't answer.

"Okay! Rey is nice. I love her too!" She declared without any form of misgiving, and slapped his hands for high fives.

Jess watched in awe as her little sister seemed to melt this giant’s heart.

"He seems sweet Rey. You should keep him." Jess winked.

"I think I will." She laughed, the innocence of a child felt healing towards her.

Rey invited them to sit and share their lunch. She gave wipes to the girls, and the girls brought out their ham and cheese sandwiches.

"What are yours?" Micah asked Rey.

"Cucumber and salmon and chickpea salad."

"Gross!" Micah squinched her face together in disgust.

"Don't you want to try it?" Rey raised her eyebrows in a dare.

Micah shrugged and opened her mouth to let Rey feed her.

"Mmmmm. That's yummy! Straight in the tummy!" Micah giggled.

"She seems like a happy child." Rey said to Jess.

"Yes. Everyone who meets her adores her. I love her to bits. Our parents delight in her. We miss them. They're doctors out on a medical mission in the provinces. What do you and Ben do?"

"We're architects. The company where I work at designed that building." She said while gesturing to the building beside hers.

"Whoaaa. That's cool!" Jess' eyes went wide.

"Yes. It is." Rey recognized that face. It was curiosity.

"Are you looking for on-the-job training opportunities?"

"Yes. I'm nearing the end of my senior year, and it's a requirement for university here."

"You should apply with us. We're open to training the curious like you. Here take a picture of my card." She flipped her phone, and her details were there.

"I think I will. I'll talk to my parents about it. Thanks Rey." She smiled.

"Can I sit on your lap, Ben?" Micah asked pushing her palms on his lap, abandoning her sandwich in front of him.

Ben looked to Jess for approval. "It's okay Micah. Just don't kick him okay. Dad says you have bony feet."

"I don't!" She stuck out her tongue and looked to Ben. He nodded, and he hoisted her up by the armpits, and set her on his right thigh.

"It's already higher! Can you put me on your shoulders?" Micah asked. Uninterested in her lunch by now.

Ben smiled and almost said yes when Jess said, "Micah, let him finish eating. Remember, he's on a date with Rey. Try not to hog his attention too much."

Rey laughed, feeling light. She enjoyed watching Ben deal with Micah. It's quite a delight to see him with this force of nature of a child.

"It's okay Jess. I'm just happy here. Eating my sandwiches. Would you girls like some fruit?" She passed the container to Jess, then Micah.

Micah told Ben about preschool and parks and what she wants to be when she grows up while she ate crisps. Ben listened to her intently while chewing his sandwich. The salmon was fresh, and the cheese and cucumbers really complement them. The chickpea tuna salad, tasted like real tuna without the tuna, and it was also delicious.

Ben reached for an apple, and Rey handed the container to him.

He mouthed a thank you, and Rey reached her hand, and squeezed his thigh.

Jess got a call from their Mom, "You're home? You should come meet us. We're at the park."

Micah jumped off from Ben's knees. "They're home!"

"Yes Micah." Jess looked a bit teary.

Micah gave her sister a hug. "It's okay Jess! They're home. They're not in danger."

"Danger?" Rey asked.

Jess wiped her tears and answered, "They were sent to a war zone in the south. We worry for them but we trust that they'll be kept safe."

"Jess! Micah!" A dark curly haired man, and a blonde lady made their way towards them. Ben and Rey stood up to meet them. Jess and Micah ran to hug their Mom and dad, and Micah was hoisted up her father's shoulders.

"Hi. You're the new friends Micah made? I'm Poe Dameron." Their dad held out his hand to them as they introduced themselves

"I'm Zorii. Z-o-r-i-i. (she laughed to herself, making sure she was being clear.)Thank you for looking out for Micah and Jess. The both of them are mostly alone. They're grandma stays with them from the evening until the morning but Jess is a good babysitter too." She hugged Jess closer to her, and held out her hand to them as well.

"They're both good children. We still have some sandwiches, would you like to join us? I have some juice and some crisps as well." Rey asked.

Zorii took Micah's half eaten sandwich, and finished it. She got some of Rey's sandwiches as well.

Poe sat Micah on his lap, and Micah fed him sandwiches. Rey had some extra whole apples, and gave them to Zorii and Poe.

"Thank you for lunch Rey. We heard from Jess that you work for UNO and you invited her for OJT?" Poe asked.

"Yes. We're both affiliated with UNO, and I think we would be delighted to have her."

"I'm so excited for the theater that you're building at my alma mater. That's where I did my pre-med courses. We passed by them from the airport. We'll talk with Jess about it. She's unsure what she wants to take in University."

When Micah felt sleepy while the adults were chatting, Poe took it as a signal to go home.

"Here are our numbers. Thank you for befriending our children. We enjoyed your company too. Thank you Rey for the delicious lunch. We'll be sure to invite you over sometime." Zorii handed them their cards, and Ben handed them his.

Their eyes widened at Ben's card, and they smiled. They waved at them goodbye, and said thank you again.

Ben helped Rey clean up. They stood up and folded the picnic blanket, and took each other’s hand. Ben smiled at her, and said, "Was that a good date?"

"No. It was a great one." She said. She took his arm to wrap around her shoulders and held him closer, and they walked back to her building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the war in the south - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_conflict; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_conflict_in_the_Philippines
> 
> chickpea tuna salad sandwich - https://sweetpotatosoul.com/2015/06/vegan-chickpea-tuna-salad-video.html; https://minimalistbaker.com/chickpea-sunflower-sandwich/
> 
> https://www.thespruceeats.com/salmon-cucumber-sandwiches-479748
> 
> MBCT - I'm currently undergoing this for my OCD and depression. Hopefully, it will help me in the long run, and so far it's been good. I've only had one session, but unwittingly, I've been practicing some of its principles.  
> https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/therapy-types/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy


	7. Chapter 7 - Enharmonic: 2 notes that differ in name but refer to the same pitch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small steps in one direction can lead you forward. Rey inches towards being more intimate with Ben in her own terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I doing this too soon? I've been sitting on this chapter for two days now. I wanted them to grow a bit more. I think I'm leaving Ben a bit behind, but no worries, more for him next chapter. :D
> 
> This is heavy stuff. I'm marking(***) the mentions of suicide and attempted rape. This was tagged, so tread lightly.

"Do you like kids Rey?" Ben said while helping her peel the vegetables for the chicken skillet pie. The minestrone was sitting in her slow cooker since lunch, and the smell of basil filled the air.

"I do. My adoptive mother, Dahlia, always babysits for the kids in her community. I helped out, and I think I'm confident in taking care of them."

"Do you have any idea if you'd want to raise your own?" Ben said trying to even out his tone.

"I don't know yet. I never really thought about it. It's just... It's hard to love people. You need to risk so much, and these children, they will rely on their parents, and they'll love you in their own way. The lack of control scares me." She was chopping some celery and her rhythm went faster when she reached the end of the stalk.

"It scares me too. People. They have their patterns but they also have surprises. Like Micah earlier. She didn't fit any mold. She didn't feel like any kids I've met before." He said handing her the carrots. Potatoes next.

"Yes. You're right but if we do have kids we'll love them." Rey stilled in chopping the carrots.

She wanted to take it back, but she looked at Ben, and he was just nodding silently.

She was over-thinking everything.

"We always talk about deep things. Don't we?" She said.

"Yes but it's okay. I despise small talk. My mother made me go through 5 years of etiquette classes."

"It feels fake doesn't it?"

"Yes, absolutely. I just want to be real with you Rey." He gave her a small smile, and dropped the peeled potatoes in the bowl she prepared.

She smiled too. Talking to Ben was straight forward. He didn't create tension. He didn't have any innuendos. What you saw was what he was. He was just Ben.

She opened the range hood and started sauteeing the garlic, onions and the vegetables in butter. It was only 5pm, and he couldn't wait for dinner.

Rey told him to have a seat while she was cooking. He went to her library, and looked at her books. They used the same catalog system for their libraries, and they made him happy. She had numerous books about acoustics, architecture, some fiction, management books, self help books, Victorian classics, modern classics, and so much more. He couldn't pick which ones to borrow. There were so many titles that sparked his interests. He found a tattered copy of The Little Prince, and he decided that he will start with that.

\----

Rey set the timer on her phone for 15 minute intervals.

She went to sit next to Ben in the sofa, and his arm was draped over the backrest while he balanced a small book on his thigh.

"May I sit next to you?" She gestured to his arm.

"Yes please. Arm around you, okay?"

"Yes. Just the shoulders. Thanks Ben."

She put his arm around her shoulders and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He held her closer, and she closed her eyes.

"Is there something you want to tell me Rey?"

"Yes."

"Should I wait till after dinner or before?"

She debated. Will it be different? She might not have the stomach for it later. She might throw up.

"Can you hold me like this when I tell you? I don't think I want you to see me right now."

"Okay."

***start***

She counted to five, and she started.

"My uncle tried to rape me when I was 13."

His hand held her closer then.

"You escaped?"

"Yes."

"That's how you found Dahlia?"

"She was an officer at the station. He died from a stroke when I kicked him off of me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Am I less than Ben?" Her tears started falling again. She leaned into him more. Trying to remember his scent. The texture of his clothes. Everything to stop the memory of him touching her.

"No. It wasn't your fault. You only defended yourself. Only God knows what happened to him after. You're still you."

"You don't think I'm dirty?" She said covering her face while sobbing.

"No. You're as clean as I am." He said fully enveloping her by now.

"Will it be worth it to love me Ben? I'm so broken. I can't even let you touch me where I want you to touch me. I can't even let people surprise me with hugs without freaking out. I cut my hair this short, so I wouldn't remember his hands running through the tips. It's so much Ben."

"We're both broken Rey. If you think it will be worth it to love me, then I think it's worth it to love you. You are more than what he did to you."

"But you'll leave Ben. I'm sure you don't plan to stay here forever. You have a life in the US, a mother and father waiting for you."

"We'll figure it out. Don't think about the end for now."

"I can't stop the thoughts Ben. They'll course through me. It's how I lived my life. Planning everything. How will I survive tomorrow? How will I make this relationship we have work?" She moved to face him. She clenched his shirt, and her tears kept falling.

"I know I'll only fall deeper Ben. I've never felt like this about anything except architecture and music, and rhythm and balance unite the universe. This is the third day we've known each other. Why does it feel like I've given you so much power to break me?"

He opened her hands and massaged them.

"Because I'll continue giving you the power to break me as well. We all have our secrets Rey. I have mine."

He pulled his long sleeves to his elbows, and led her hands above the scars that covered his left forearm. He took her hands and kissed her knuckles. Something he's wanted to do since he met her.

"I'll tell you when you're ready but know that you aren't alone. We might not be in the same boat, but we're sailing the same seas."

***end***

Her alarm rang, and they both jolted in surprise.

"Should I check on it?" Ben asked.

"Thanks but it's okay. I'll do it." She stood up, and smoothed out her dress.

The pie needed 10 more minutes. She set her timer again.

She had to face Ben again but he said he understood somehow.

"Are you okay?"Ben looked at her, worried.

"How do you do it Ben? You seem to read me so well." She moved to sit beside him again.

"I had to observe minor changes in people since I can't clearly read emotions. I try my best to get the nuances but like I said with Micah, it's not predictable. I can guess, and hope that I'm right.

"When I'm under stress I can't do it though. I like you as you. You notice me too Rey. Even from when we first met, you did something no one will do for me."

Her heart squeezed, and she felt safe again.

"I went to my psychiatrist this morning, and I told her about you. About us. She said that we should try, but you could help me by going at my pace."

"I'm okay with it. I think you're worth it Rey. You're worth the risk. I'm not perfect too. We can learn from each other."

***start***

"Now, will you tell me why you have the scars? I don’t think I can fall asleep without knowing." She said as she sat beside himself again. Getting her tissues to blow her nose.

"I attempted suicide when my parents refused to file their divorce."

_That didn't make sense._

"You heard right. I just wanted them to be happy. They kept saying they'll stay together for me, for my stability, since I was different, but I felt like it was my fault they kept on fighting. The shouting made me crazy, and before I knew it, I was getting a knife and dragging it over my left hand. Trying to stop my beating pulse because everything was too loud."

Rey cried for him. Dabbing her face with the tissues again, but she decided she'll let them fall for him.

***end***

"You're better now?"

"Yes. I've been in therapy since then, and I take antidepressants on and off based on the psychiatrist's recommendation."

"They don't make you less you?"

"I don't think so... Is the doctor going to give you some?"

"She strongly recommends it since she knows I'm having a hard time right now, with everything on my plate."

"It won't solve everything but it can help. You can ask her about diets too, if you would prefer that. Magnesium supplements and all that."

"I will. I'll be seeing her every Saturday."

"Thank you Rey for telling me."

"Thank you Ben for telling me about you too."

"Are there anymore secrets? Extra arms or legs? Disgusting habits?" Ben smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"There's a part of me that loves the smell of onions." She confessed.

"Really?" His eyes squinting a bit in confusion.

"Yes. They're really good when you cook them and sautee them. I also like when you put raw ones on sandwiches."

"I see. That's interesting Rey."

The timer rang, and they jolted once again.

It was finally time to eat. Rey asked for his hand, and led him to the kitchen and dining area.

He set the table, and she took out the pie.

He took two bowls, and served the soup, while she toasted some bread.

They sat down to eat and dug in with comfortable silence.

Rey watched him eat, since it was one of life's simple joys.

They finished almost simultaneously, they cleaned up together.

Rey opened her hand for Ben to hold. Their signal.

She led him to the couch, and positioned his body lay half seated with his legs spread out beneath him.

"You fed me good food, and I might fall asleep, if I lie down now. We have work tomorrow, and I plan to go home."

"I'll set an alarm. I just want to try something. You'll let me right?"

"Okay."

7:30pm. She set an alarm for 8:30pm.

"I'll see how long I can handle being in contact with you without me having nightmares."

She put one of his legs down, and positioned herself between his legs, laying her head on his chest. She handed her the book he was reading, and she read with him. It was a good thing that her sofa was big enough for both of them.

"My lower back is the most sensitive, but I want you to touch me there. I'm sure we'll get there. Thank you for letting me have control for now."

"Gonna hug you."

She took a deep breath, and he gave her a good hug. She kissed his jaw, and concentrated on the smell of garlic toast, oranges, soap, and Ben.

She couldn't place it but Ben had his own unique smell. It wasn't perfume though, she was sure. It was non-invasive, and it comforted her.

Ben stopped the embrace, knowing she might not be ready for something he wanted. She suggested reading aloud, so he won't fall asleep.

"Just for an hour. I really like your voice."

"More than you like your own?" She felt him stifling his laughter.

"Yes. Please Ben." She squeezed his arm.

She closed her eyes and listened to him. He had a low register, and he spoke with just enough speed to be heard and to be understood. He didn't have too much affectations, but he seems to put pressure at the end of his sentences. He also started each sentence softly building up to a crescendo then ending softly again. It helped her focus, and she found herself relaxing. He continued reading. Her mind drifted to thoughts of a possible future. Will they have a son or a daughter like Micah? Will he or she carry the sorrows of their parents?

Ben stopped reading, and shifted her head to rest closer to his chest.

That distracted her well enough, and she tried to focus on the present. He started reading again, giving her a kiss on her ear.

Ben really did seem to sense her discomfort. When her mind started to drift, he would stop and do something to distract her like rubbing her shoulders, squeezing her hands, and kissing her hair.

The alarm rang. She looked to him and he kissed her nose in farewell.

"I have a question Ben. How did you know when to distract me?"

"Your breathing changed, and I felt you were trying move away from me. Was that okay?"

"Yes. It was good. I liked it. Did you like it?"

"Yes. Thank you, Rey, for trusting me."

She gave him a quick kiss, and pulled him up. They had to say their goodbyes.

When they reached the lobby, while giving their last embrace of the day, she whispered in his ear, "I want to do so much more with you Ben. I'm thankful that you lived to today. Thank you for agreeing to wait for me."

"You're worth the wait."

"One day, I'll be well enough to ask you to stay."

"I look forward to it." He let go slowly, waved goodbye and pivoted towards home.

She watched him leave, and she didn't have that heavy feeling anymore. She was glad he told him. She will focus on getting better. She's been running away long enough.

\-----

Ben felt elated. He was glad to have made it home safe, and he messaged her that he was home.

He did his rituals, and prepared for bed. If he believed in God or a force or anything, he would thank them for bringing Rey to his life.

He called Leia, and she answered. She asked about his date, and he answered the questions he weren't able to answer yesterday. He told her about Rey's challenging circumstances, and she felt teary too.

He asked her what else he could do for her.

"Support her Ben. She'll be needing it. Ask her questions. Try to understand what she's going through.

"You really don't plan to tell Luke or Chewie yet? Malla might be able to help you too."

"I don't think we are ready. Perhaps before the year ends."

"You realized you'll have to hide your relationship while you're working with UNO."

"I'll be there only thrice a week. I'm gonna catch up on work for AKR during Tuesdays and Thursdays as I agreed with Hux."

"Okay. I'm just saying you never know. They might be helpful too."

"Thanks Mom. I'll remember."

"Good night dear. I'm off to yoga."

He smiled and said good morning.

He read some emails, and read Hux's report.

He messaged Hux:

-Who gave you permission to tell Arch. Organa?-

-I couldn't help it mate. I was honestly happy for you.-

-you mean you found it amusing.-

-no man. I'm truly glad for you. I just wanted you to be happy, and you seemed into her. Your face is expressive when you don't know it.-

-sure. Any important things about AKR?-

Hux went over the salient parts of his report, and Ben took notes. He didn't realize it was late till Hux reminded him.

-your lady's not over tonight?-

-that was a unique circumstance. It's none of your concern.-

-touchy touchy-

-good night Hux-

He locked his phone, and positioned himself for bed. His phone vibrated, and he checked if it was Rey.

She wished him good night and sweet dreams.

He felt tingles of the good kind, and readily succumbed to tiredness.

\----

Rey listed everything that needed to be done that day. Thankfully, she had a good night's sleep. No dreams or nightmares. She was glad she was getting used to Ben. It helped her focus on her tasks.

It's been four hours since she started. The arena design proved to be challenging. Her previous conceptual schemes were rejected by the owner. She couldn't understand what made them tick. The acoustics computations were the least of her problems.

They wanted something "cheap" or where they can make a profit but they wanted it iconic and beautiful.

Beauty has a price most of the time but this was proving difficult.

She needed to take a break.

She opened her phone, and just in time, Ben sent a message.

-Meet me at Legazpi Park?-

-yes. I'll be there in 15 minutes I guess. Have you had lunch?-

-i bought lunch for both of us.-

She smiled. She forgot how nice it is to be taken care of.

They met up, and she talked about her frustrations at work. He related some challenges they were facing at Manhattan, and how he intended to solve them. He offered some ideas to rack her brain, and he advised her that it won't be bad to ask for the opinions of her colleagues. He also mentioned that the secret to dealing with clients that care about cash is ROI. If she's able to prove her designs can save money in the long run, it might give her more leverage.

She was grateful for his input. Ben really was a good leader. She admired his strength and his love for his job.

They talked about their schedules. They agreed to go out on Sundays and dinners on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

She plans to take him around the Metro, and go to the museums and historical sites. To taste the city and to experience the culture that she fell in love with.

They went back to UNO, and separated at the lobby.

\----

When Ben rode the elevator, someone stopped it from closing.

"Thank you! I'm quite late already." Miriam said sweaty and out of breath.

"Benny! How was your site visit with Rey? It seems she came in early today. Her car was there before 7am."

Ben swallowed. He needed to respect Rey's privacy. Even if he wanted to declare to all of the earth that he was falling in love with someone as wonderful as Rey, he needed to respect her wishes.

"You look better. You've been sleeping well?"

"Yes."

"Okay. How was Rey in the sack?"

He coughed trying to remember if he heard it right. "I'm sorry?"

"How was Rey in the site?" She repeated.

"She seemed respected by her colleagues, tenacious in detail, and she investigated whether her acoustic design worked well."

"How was it? You've heard her play haven't you?" She said her eyes twinkling with knowing.

"The design worked."

"Lady Rey worked her magic once again. Did you fall in love with her then?"

He coughed.

"You should really drink your allergy medications Benny. You've been coughing a lot. Going back. Perhaps, you fell in love when she shocked you? She's a walking static electricity generator you know. She even handed me a biscuit before, and I got shocked."

"Don't tell anyone Yam."

"You're not confirming or denying. Okay... Not even Mom or Pops?"

"Yes. No one was supposed to know. We're taking it slow. We'll announce it when were both ready..."

"It's okay but I'm warning you: Mephalda's got the hots for you."

"What?"

"Just watch out. Since you're like a little brother to me."

They finally arrived at his floor, and Miriam flitted her fingers at her.

"Bye bye Benny the honeybadger."

"Yam the Yak." He nodded.

He set back to work at his home office, and he prepared for the agenda for UNO. Trying to decipher Miriam's message.

 _Mephalda liked him? Impossible. I didn't notice anything. I think I've understood Miffy's patterns, but humans_ _ are _ _unpredictable._

Rey wasn't available for dinner this evening, but she said they're still on for Sunday.

\----

Rey was exhausted. She was thankful Ben even bought her lunch. She was too exhausted to eat dinner.

She told Doctor Kanata that she will try but it is difficult. Things she didn't know about herself are now surfacing, and she needs to face the demons of her past.

The seeds that have been sown she was 7 have been growing in her bitter heart, and she started to doubt again. The beauty and wonder she experienced when she was with Ben isn't enough to completely destroy those doubts. Being thrust into reality after their dreamlike holidays showed that.

Contradicting herself was Rey's specialty. It helped her profession by noting the pros and cons of each move she has made, but in daily life, her neurotic tendencies tend to stop her growth.

She felt like everything she has achieved up to now was a farce. A mere coincidence. Luck. Moved by some great mover. Obet Kenobi just happened to be her adoptive uncle. If it weren't for him, she would still be a nobody getting lost in the UK. Dahlia did her best to get by as well, and they were comfortable but not enough to achieve her dreams.

But Ben, he was somebody. His autism merely added to his identity. It didn't take anything away. It didn't purely define him. His upbringing made sure of it. He had access to more than she did. He had his difficulties, and he struggled but he'll have something she hadn't had in a while: A loving mother who was still alive.

Though his struggles were valid, and her struggles were valid, she couldn't understand why she's so hard on herself.

She fears that she'll be a passing obsession on his part. He said that she's worth it.

Is she really? Can they work together to undo the scars of their collective past?

The thoughts swam into the dark recesses of her brain. Reinforcing her previous beliefs and trying to delete the progress she had gone through with Ben.

It festered inside of her until her Saturday session with Dr. Kanata.

She related her difficulty to her, and the doctor said she already found her answer herself.

"Your eyes, my child, are of those who wish to run. You're planning to push Ben away as we speak."

She felt guilty...because it was the truth.

She was making excuses to stop whatever was happening with Ben.

"Don't get comfortable with your pain Rey. Truth be told, the world does not include you alone. You're not responsible for everything, and the success you have is in truth only an amalgamation of those that helped you. Gratitude, Rey. Will that not be enough? Of course you aren't here by your own power. The choices you made were your own and these people's choices were their own. The same goes with Ben. Since you both have history, you'll be treading deep waters together. Do you know if he has a doctor here?"

"I will need to ask. He's pretty good at taking care of himself. He has a schedule, and he has someone who reminds him to take meals."

"Rey, have you been taking care of yourself?"

"I'm failing at that."

"You can't fail that Rey. There is no grading system in life. The answer is simple Rey. Yes or no."

"No. I have not been taking care of myself."

"Okay. What do you need to do to do so?"

She racked her brain for why she feels like a failure, and she related this to the doctor. The momentum was addictive. It made her not want to stop. By the time she realized she needed dinner, it was already 1am of the next day.

"Perhaps an alarm? You told me you had an alarm for lunch. Since you've been busy recently, an alarm for dinner helps."

She considered it. It was a simple solution, and it was doable.

"How did Ben react to your past?"

"He said I was worth it."

"Do you believe him?"

"I want to believe him but a part of me still doesn't."

"I think that's valid, Rey, but you need to work together on this. Did you tell him of your doubts?"

"I didn't want to hurt him. He seems so sure. He's close to telling me he loves me. I can feel it."

"Do you not love him?"

"I'm not sure I know what real love is."

"Hmmm. Perhaps you can explore that for next week. The intimacy that you're having, how is it?"

"The last time I was with him, I had no nightmares thankfully. He also helped me identify where I put tension when I'm afraid. The mindfulness exercises you gave me help as well. I used him as an anchor, and he seemed to know something about it. He agreed to give me more control than he has but I haven't seen him since then, and I've been having nightmares again."

"Perhaps the tiredness is adding to it. Your stance on medication is still the same?"

"Perhaps the sleeping pill you gave me before would help me."

"Okay. It's a good option for you since it is anxiolytic and a strong antihistamine. You're okay with the previous dosage?"

"Yes."

"Okay. What do you look forward to this coming week Rey?"

"Getting three schemes done. Going out with Ben tomorrow. Seeing more of the current projects growing."

"And taking care of yourself?" She reminded

"Yes. I forgot. Eating three full meals. Getting a good amount of sleep."

"Set the alarms Rey. Don't forget! Take care of yourself. You have my number. The usual reminders still apply. If there's an emergency, go to the emergency room, and I'll meet you there."

She smiled and bid goodbye to the good doctor.

She knew what she looked forward to that week: She was going to plan a day with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chicken Skillet Pot Pie - https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/one-skillet-rotisserie-chicken-pot-pie (I changed the recipe because turnips aren't available here.
> 
> Minestrone Soup - https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetables-recipes/minestrone-soup/ https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/minestrone_soup/ << for me minestrone is the BEST soup. Hearty green veg and beans (we don't add rice or pasta because my family is diabetic). LOVE IT SO MUCH, and if you eat it with garlic bread, you will surely cry from happiness. :D
> 
> Onions - I love onions. I like eating them raw with tuna salad and on top of pasta. Crazy? Yes. Delicious? Yes.
> 
> I like writing about food, and I'm defending it by thinking that Rey didn't get to eat much growing up, so she's interested in it now. Do any of you guys cook? I hope you try the recipes I'm posting!
> 
> "I've never felt like this about anything except architecture and music, and rhythm and balance unite the universe." This line was taken from The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, except she says that math unites the universe. I loved this line, and i feel the same way about music and architecure. They are rhythm and balance.
> 
> "Music is liquid architecture; Architecture is frozen music" is a dictum (or two dicta) often attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.


	8. Chapter 8-Ad Libitum (Ad Lib; Latin): At liberty; the performer decides how to sing or play the respective section or notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying each other's company and eating good food seems to be the cure for their sorrows. Will Rey learn of Miriam's observations? What will happen to their relationship?
> 
> Their first date outside the CBD! Ben's backstory! More food writing!
> 
> Dig in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...I'm back. I've been trying to get this ball rolling, but I realize I have been neglecting my therapy homework. I'll be coming back to therapy tomorrow, and I am not being mindful of my time. The opposite of MBCT's goals.
> 
> Hopefully, I'll still be able to write a few chapters tomorrow. I hope to reach the climax (hehe) soon. We'll see.
> 
> Thank you for those who are continuing reading! Please do comment, if you enjoyed. I really like knowing that I'm not alone. (cue Michael Jackson).

Ben was out of town that Saturday for AKR. One of their clients was interested in expanding their company to the Philippines, and they wanted him to do a feasibility study on the different locations they could set up shop.

Belle guided him all over the metro, and he'll be working close with her to get all the necessary data.

The different auras of the CBDs were disconcerting at first. The people and places had different rhythms, different aesthetics, different dispositions, and different planning styles.

It was always fascinating to him the work a few miles (or kilometers) can do the nature of people and places.

Ben explained his autism and its relation to touch with Belle, and she apologized profusely. Ben had refused to publicize his nature, and Belle had no idea. She was going to apply more pressure when getting his attention.

They were finally back in Makati by nightfall, and he was wiped out.

He hadn't checked his messages since they left at 7am this morning. The traffic surprisingly cooperated with them, and it was a productive day.

-do you have a local psychiatrist Ben?-

-yes. My psychiatrist transferred her files to her just this afternoon. I'll be meeting with her during the last week of November for my monthlies.-

-that's good. Thank you for telling me. My session today went well. Let's talk about it more tomorrow. I am depleted of all energy today.-

-what time do we meet tomorrow?-

-I'll pick you up at 6:30am so we can have breakfast in manila. Please wear comfortable clothes and shoes, and pack an extra top since we'll be walking around-

-that's where we're going?-

-yes. I'm not telling you anything more. It's a surprise. :> -

-okay. Good night Rey. May you have restful sleep.-

-i hope so too. Sweet dreams for my sweet. :*-

\------

His dreams weren't sweet. He had dreamt of the glass box. Getting stranded alone in a plummeting scenic elevator at 7 years old was not the best memory he had. He vividly remembers having an episode of over-stimulation: punching Leia in the eye, while she was rocking him back and forth in the lobby, while the people looked to her in pity. He could feel all the emotions in the room, and he despised it. Mock. Pity. Fear of the violent child. Parents ferrying their children or covering their ears from his soul ripping cries.

His mother was a force to be reckoned with. They were not to be published on any newspaper regarding the incident. Their family was a prominent one, Luke and Leia being the only ones to steer away from politics altogether. His grandfather was a war hero and celebrated senator, and no one expected the grandson to turn out like this.

Leia loved him despite it, and Han did in his own way. He was their lovechild, and they were married hurriedly because of it. They were from different worlds. Han from an upstart working class family making his name as a contractor in the west coast, and Leia darling of the press turned architect despite the push of the public for one of celebrated twins to follow in their fathers footsteps. Han had difficulty accepting his child's temperament. More of his mother's child than his father's, they grew apart when Ben couldn't pursue the things his father loved.

Architecture was his obsession. His passion. His escape. As a child he would dream of buildings, of cities in the sky, and communities underwater. He lived in his own head, and was frequently not without a book or a sketchpad in hand.

He never designed all glass structures. He strove for balance: for beauty, strength, function. To do good for the environment and the people that will use it, a heart for service that translated into the built environment. His clientele were like minded in this pursuit: the young and the movers of the current economy.

He shot up from bed, deciding his head was drifting towards work. Sundays were non negotiable. He needed to stay away from everything about the company.

5:00am

Plenty of time to prepare to see Rey, and they'd be together the whole day.

He would prepare a book (science fiction was his favorite, filled with descriptions that allowed him to dream of other worlds), his water bottle, and some oranges.

Even the oranges here were good. They were tiny ones but sweet, seedless ones that tasted like those made into orange juice, extremely sour ones, and the ones that had more fiber than taste. He explored the supermarkets during his lunch break, and there were vegetables and fruits he hadn't seen before. He would ask Rey to teach him to cook her favorite recipes.

\---

She arrived at 6:15am. Ben didn't mind, because he was also early.

Her picnic basket and violin were at the backseat, and he put his oranges there as well.

It took them 20 minutes to get to the Walled City, known locally as Intramuros. She was yawning during the first few minutes, and explaining the history for the next 10 minutes.

"During the Spanish colonization, the city was built to keep the capital safe. The city housed the seat of power and the families of the powerful..."

They passed the statue of a queen of Spain, a fort, and they parked near one of the churches. Neither of them Catholic, but they respected the architecture.

They walked to Plaza Roma, in front of the Manila Cathedral, and Rey handed him his breakfast while she pulled out some drinks.

It smelled like a breakfast burrito.

He readily bit into it, but was surprised at the explosion of garlic, pork, and spices.

"What is this?" Marveling at the amount one bite can contain.

"It's a longganisa, egg, and rice burrito. Do you know of longganisa?"

He shook his head while he chewed.

"It's their version of sausages. Each province make their longganisa in a different way. My favorite is the one we're eating which is Vigan longganisa. They sometimes purposely cut into it or not bother with the casing, and let it ferment in vinegar, garlic, soy sauce, salt, and more garlic. It's delicious. Way more flavorful than the bangers at home."

Ben continued eating, and nodding to show his appreciation.

Rey ate hers as well, but it was half the size of his. She nibbled slowly. Her lids closing.

"You alright?"

"My dreams weren't sweet."

"Nor mine." He said resigned but he has the ability to be awake in the mornings when had a purpose.

"I'll take a nap later when we get home. I'll be okay. I brought tea."

They ate in silence, enjoying the feeling of the city waking up. They listened: clacking of horse carriages, and men shouting at each other from across the street, the guards in period uniform marching about. It was a beautiful morning.

They finished, and Rey cleaned up. Making sure to not leave any trace of trash on the bench.

They went inside hand in hand silently. They sat at the pew, while Rey was whispering facts about the cathedral. She also related that the cathedral hosts music festivals, and the acoustics were good.

The choir was practicing for the mass, and people were trickling in. The mass was starting in 5 minutes, and they weaved through the crowd to get out.

They observed some students setting up to sit in front of the church armed with sketchpads and numerous drawing suzplies. Rey smiled, remembering her own course requirements.

She held out her hand, and motioned for them to go near the students.

They were drawing architectural details of the church. There were numerous forms to choose from.

Rey said hi.

"Anong ginagawa niyo?" (F: what are you doing?) The Filipino language surprisingly coming out from her tongue. Her voice trying to harden each syllable to sound convincing.

"Good morning. We're doing some assignments for our history subject." A student nudged to answer by his peers in English.

"Saang University kayo nag-aaral?" (F: which university do you go to?)

They mentioned the private University she went to for her undergraduate degree. She asked about her professors, feeling relieved that they were still teaching. Satisfied, they said farewell to the students, and Rey led them to the men with horse carriages.

Rey paid for them to be taken to Baluarte de San Diego. She explained that it was one of the towers that act as a colonial fortification.

The carriage ride was enjoyable. Bumpy, but interesting. The "driver" asked Ben to distribute his weight more because the carriage was leaning towards his side, making it harder for the horse. Rey laughed at this, and it was always a pleasure for him to hear it.

The carriage dropped them off, and they started exploring. Ben was a good listener, and an okay photographer. They took pictures of each other, and the details that fascinate them. She asked about what it was like growing up for him, and what drove him to his profession. He told her about the glass box, his memory still fresh from this morning's dream, and how it added to his fear of small spaces. Rey listened intently, not showing pity but understanding. She told him that he was strong because he managed his anxiety, and he related that it was mostly through therapy.

They walked the way back towards Plaza Roma. Taking photos along the way, and Rey decided it was best to eat lunch in the car. The weather was good, and it wasn't too warm. They changed clothes at the church toilets, and washed their hands.

She had packed roasted chicken sandwiches with tons of vegetables. Ben handed her the oranges after they finished. She asked about how it was when he was studying in University, and he related that he was mostly with Hux, his friend since childhood. They went to the same university, and eventually became partners in the business.

His professors were supportive and fair. They didn't care about his name, and that's why he loved schools. He still believes that they were the great equalizer. His mother advocates literacy and education, and he helped form a scholarship program for promising students who wanted to pursue and expensive course like architecture and any form of art.

He loved the arts.

She laughed recalling their first meeting with the partners.

She asked about his relationship Mephalda and Miriam. Curious on how he perceived them.

He told him about how they treated him. They treated him as an equal, and they never saw him as someone older. They protected him whenever there was reunions happening at the Skywalker estate, and when the other children picked on him. They mostly left him to his own devices. They were good friends but he saw them as his sisters. He only saw them a week during the summers till grade school. Their last visit to the US was when Leia's company had its grand anniversary at the New York branch.

She asked if Snoke also visited the New York branch, and he said that they met at the time when he graduated from his undergraduate degree.

Rey cleaned up, buckled up, and started the engine.

"We're burning daylight! Thank you for telling me Ben. We're now now going to location numero dos!" Emphasizing the number 2 with her fingers. Her liveliness returning.

She brought them to the Cultural Center of the Philippines Complex, and they found themselves in Aliw Theater for a matinee of Ballet Manila's presentation of Cinderella.

"You were able to buy tickets?"

"The Atheneum University gave me tickets. I'm glad I saved them and hadn't ask anyone else. I was just going to watch alone or with Belle."

"How long have you known Belle?"

"Since university days, She was my lower class-man. Do you want to know her rap name?"

"She raps?"

"It's BB-8. BB-8 in the house!~" she laughed.

Ben was in awe. She made everyone feel more interesting.

They reached the inside of theater, Ben wondering if fire code laws allowed this sort of set up.

They were seated at the middle of the theater, surrounded by students of all ages with teachers ushering them to keep quiet and pay attention.

"I never really understood Cinderella. Why did she wait for a fairy godmother? She could have just walked out the door any time she wanted...but I love the ballet."

"Maybe she was just waiting for someone to love her again since her parents were gone." Ben said focusing on the stage since the show was about to start.

The music was too loud but the kids help buffer the sound. The show was beautiful. Young dancers and veteran alike were dancing together. It wasn't the most technical of performances but their love for the craft was shown in their attitude.

Ben held her hand for the whole duration, and he squeezed when he was excited. When it finished, Rey had tears forming in her eyes. It was indeed moving. Despite what the world may say, she loved happy endings.

They exited when the theater was near empty. Lingering in the presence of each other. It was getting late, 5:00pm, and Rey hadn’t planned for after.

“Your place or mine?” Ben said squeezing her hands firmly.

“I’m not ready for anything tonight, and we’re both going to UNO tomorrow.” Rey confessed feeling drained. Happy, but drained.

“I understand.”

They walked to exit, and they checked out the photos of the previous seasons.

“If I have more time to prepare, I hope we can watch something at the CCP Main Theater. It’s another work of the National Artist, Architect Leandro Locsin.” She said, her mind reeling with possibilities.

They drove home, Rey asking more random questions about Ben’s like and dislikes. The usual, colors, books, artists, architects, buildings, bridges, season, flower, tree.

Rey found all of his answers riveting, and it helped her stay awake when she was driving.

The traffic was bad, but they survived.

It was dinner time when they had arrived. 6:30pm. 12 hours and 15 minutes from when they met up.

Ben offered to cook, since Rey looked like she’s about to collapse on the spot.

Rey felt heavy, and Ben whispered, “Gonna carry you.” She brought out her hands in resignation, and he carried her to the couch. She kissed him sleepily, and said, “Just 15 minutes, Ben.” He went to her bedroom, and took her warm blanket. He draped it over her, Rey’s eyes already closed, and her breathing evening out.

He found some pasta, marinara sauce, bacon, chili flakes, chicken breasts that seemed to have been marinating, and some cheese.

He found her mallet, and pounded the chicken to 1/2 inch thick, grilling it on a skillet.

Rey was a meal prepper for sure. Her garlic, onions, and tomatoes, were already blitzed up and put in jars inside her fridge. It made it easier for him to do this quickly.

Cooking the pasta, sweating out the bacon, then sauteeing the garlic, onions, tomatoes in its fat. He added chili and the marinara sauce. He tasted it. He added salt, and tasted again. Passable. The pasta was done, and he transferred it to the sauce pan.

He served it on two plates, put the grilled chicken on top, and crumbled the cheese up top. He checked on Rey, and she seemed to be waking up.

“It smells too good. I need to eat. I’m tired.” Her eyes brightening once again.

“Stay there. I’ll bring it to you.”

He set up their plates at the coffee table, and went back to retrieve a water pitcher and some glasses.

He put the things down, and Rey made room for him to sit.

“I want to feed you.” He said, giving her his precious small smile.

“You don’t have to, but thank you. I’ll take your offer. I really should get an automatic transmission.”

She crossed her legs, and wrapped the blanket around her. He managed to find some table napkins, and he put over her legs. He twirled the pasta on the fork, and gestured to her to open her mouth. She blew on it, and he fed her.

“It’s good! Is it arrabiata?”

“Kinda. Your chicken tasted good too. Was that for the sandwiches?” He said while scooping a mouthful from his plate into his mouth.

“Yes. I had extra. Thank you for cooking.”

“You make it easy.” He smiled sauce covering his lips.

_He is too beautiful._

She leaned in and kissed him, and she licked her lips and her tongue burned.

“AHHH!” She reached for water, and gulped it down.

“Oh no. I’m sorry. I put extra chili sauce on mine. Are you okay?” He said, wiping his mouth with a tissue, and filling up her glass again.

“I’m fine. I was just surprised. That was so spicy. How much did you put?”

“I like my arrabiata to be near fire spicy. I didn’t put any on yours. Are you upset?” He said trying to read her expression.

“No. No.” She laughed, and she heard him sigh with relief.

“I definitely do have the hots for you now.” She said, trying to break his tension further.

He suddenly remembered Miriam’s words.

“Rey, you need to know something.” His voice dropping.

“What is it?” Her face looking grave, when he changed his countenance.

“Miriam figured out that we’re dating. I didn’t even need to tell her, she noticed I liked you from when I met you…”

That both flattered and horrified Rey. “She’s just too good.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“Are you angry? I couldn’t lie to her, and perhaps she’ll be a useful ally.”

“Miriam isn’t who I’m worried about, it’s Mephalda.“ She said looking up to the ceiling in frustration.

“Miriam did say “she had the hots for me.”” Ben air quoting while relating this story.

“What do we do Ben?”

“Miriam won’t tell. I don’t think she will.” He said, trying to remember her patterns.

“But if it’s obvious…”

“We’re not doing anything bad. Do you know of any company guidelines that prevent this? I don’t remember any. Just the usual sexual harassment ones.”

“Yes but… I don’t know.”

“Shall we tell them tomorrow?”Giving Rey the choice, since he’s sure she’s decided by now.

“Let’s do it. Better now or never.”

“At least, you’ll be welcome to the UNO penthouses.” He said trying to find a light in this.

“I might have to meet them formally! You’re Engineer Skywalker’s nephew! I didn’t expect I would need to deal with this so soon.” She closed her eyes and massaged her thighs with frustration.

Ben tried to stifle a laugh. Recognizing finding amusement in her frustration was not the best course of action. He prepared a mouthful for Rey, and nudged it on her mouth. “Come on. Worry about this tomorrow, we’re eating right now.” She opened her eyes, and opened her mouth.

Ben alternated feeding himself and Rey. She was thankful he didn’t want to _Lady and the Tramp_ the moment. She found it horrifying to share food with saliva. She didn’t understand why it was romantic.

Ben feeding her felt far more real. He really knew how to spoil her.

Food was really the way to each of their hearts.

“Can I kiss you? I did my best to wash away the chili, and I cleaned up the area.”

“Why not? Who knows? They might object towards our relationsh---” He cut her off, and it was his turn to deepen the kiss. He learned that from somewhere. Is it possible to read on these topics?

He massaged her shoulders and glided his hands towards her arms, and cut off the kiss.

“I want to take care of you Rey. They’ll see you mean so much to me, and I to you. I know it’s been going too fast, but I trust you.” Her heart melted at his affirmation. 

“If it means anything to you, when you and Luke were talking when we first had dinner, it felt like you were her niece and not me.”

“Don’t say that Ben. He loves you. He has pictures of you all over his office. I even found one inside his Structural Code.” She said holding his face to face her.

“Okay. I’m on the fence about that, but you seemed so much at ease. It felt like home to me.” He shrugged.

“Is that when you realized you liked me, Ben?” She said kissing his nose in distraction.

“I won’t tell, if you won’t.” He said gripping her hands.

They ended the night with Ben cleaning up and insisting that he’ll find his way out since the security gave him a visitor card when they went up to park. 

He carried her to her bedroom. Just a few steps, but it was worth it. He could feel her closer this way, even if it were just for a few moments. He kissed her lightly on the lips, the nose, the temple, then the forehead. He just wanted her to sleep with him as her last memory of the evening.

Her thoughts seemed to singing to him, when she held his face.

_One day, you won’t have to go. Thank you for being patient._

They reluctantly parted once again, and Ben made his way home.

He believed that his family will accept her. She was everything he didn’t deserve and more. Just this week alone has made him happier than he had ever been since he learned how to play the piano with his mom and dad at his side. If they couldn’t see that, they weren’t looking hard enough.

He will take care of Rey as Rey took care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glass scenic elevators - I was always fascinated with these sort of elevators. You could see the counterweight moving as you made your way up or down. It would be scary to be stuck in it though. Watching the elevator car plummeting to your death.  
> https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQ14PJ5W8UvawavsERz5Y7m6E748udgGTEzAWrItKDiQgZzLKzk
> 
> FOOD! haha sorry friends, I love eating.
> 
> Longganisa - https://www.kawalingpinoy.com/longganisa/ as Rey described, the regions have different taste to this. It can be sweet, extra spicy, extra garlic-ky, extra meaty, extra fatty, extra small, huge, and loads of different tastes. I think longganisa should be made known to the world!!!! I've been meaning to try to make vegan ones, but have yet to find tofu free ones. This one looks promising but has tofu - http://www.astigvegan.com/vegan-longganisa-sausages/
> 
> The Manila Cathedral - http://manilacathedral.com.ph/about_us It is beautiful. I assure you it is. My professor in college had a hand in restoring it, and it is gilded with history. ;)
> 
> Baluarte de San Diego - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baluarte_de_San_Diego My friends and I enjoyed taking photos here. It can feel a bit eerie because of its history, but it's a wonder it's still standing.
> 
> carriage ride (kalesa) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalesa horse drawn carriage. The horses can be overworked, so please watch out for this if you're visiting. If the horse looks too thin and its saliva is falling off of its mouth, it could be that the coachman is working him too hard. Do not support.
> 
> arrabiata - https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/pennealarrabiatapast_83813 we just wing this usually at home. That's how easy it's supposed to be.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :> 2 more chapters till we're halfway! ^_^


	9. Chapter 9 - Staccato ([stakˈkaːto]; Italian for "detached") signifies a note of shortened duration, separated from the note that may follow by silence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben finally make their announcement. Is Rey really okay? Is Ben? 
> 
> Let's find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends.
> 
> This is me warning you that this is a longer chapter. I assure you, Ben and Rey needed this chapter. I'm excited for you to read this. I warn you that this had made me shed a tear or two. This chapter involves someone going to the hospital because of a breakdown. I don't think any of what I've written is triggering, but if hospitals are a trigger, well there's one here.
> 
> Thank you to the community for giving my fic a chance. I don't know all who are reading, but I'm grateful for the kudos, bookmarks, and hits. I would still love to read comments. If you have some words of encouragement, or constructive criticism, I thank you in advance. :)

Rey woke up feeling tired.

Happy but tired. Somehow Ben's presence helped keep away the nightmares. No dreams recently but no nightmares either.

She had to be at the office by 7am to prepare to meet with the owners of the Arena project. She followed Ben's advice, and prepared a visual aid to help them understand the ROI of her proposal.

If visual renderings wouldn't convince them, perhaps an infographic can help.

It had been taking up her time to collate all these data, but she felt hopeful that it will be worth it.

She woke up, and decided that she'll walk to the office to settle her nerves. The district was still a bit quiet. Numerous buses and people queuing up or arriving from place to place. She tried focusing on the sounds.

It didn't help too much. She sighed and started reviewing notes in her head.

She arrived at the office, and the guard escorted her up since it was still locked up.

She prepared the presentation. Her files were sent to the network, and she checked and double checked her presentation. She proceeded to go down to the conference room, and she checked and double checked the tech needed as well as the video conference materials.

She went up her office again, and couldn't decide between eating breakfast or skipping.

Her stomach didn't sit well whenever she was about to face a client. Even after years of practice, she still gets nervous.

She decides to skip, and she got started on her other deadlines to do.

There was work to be done.

\------

Ben woke up feeling tired.

Happy but tired.

He was nervous about speaking with Chewie and Luke, and he did inform them that he would like to gather the partners for a meeting after lunch for an announcement.

They were curious about it, but they didn't ask. He will have to do it, and Rey will support him. It was a complicated thing but simple enough.

“I think I'm falling for one of the partners.” He said it out loud to himself.

_Nope._

“I have fallen in love with Rey.”

“I desire to get to know Rey better in a personal way.”

_Didn't sound right._

“It may have been only a week, but I have found myself interested personally in our colleague Architect Rey Jacinto. I have offered to get to know her better or date her, and she has accepted. We are now pursuing a romantic relationship. We hope you accept our decision, but we will be welcome to your insight on this matter.”

_That sounded right. It was truthful, but allowed no room for objection. It allowed for opinions but not for objection._

He sent off that one as a message to Rey, but she hasn't replied. Perhaps she was still asleep.

6:30am

He did the necessary habits. The exercise he got was helping him balance out his hormones, so thankfully, no morning wood today.

He thought about Rey.

Thinking about something else is not what usually does during his morning ablutions.

Feeling the warm water running down his neck, she remembered her interest and her reactions towards things he had said yesterday. He could feel her tension during his desire to tell the others about their growing investment in each other.

He couldn't deny it that he was slowly loving her more each day. He still found it amazing to find someone who exists and accepts his existence. Like coming home.

His thoughts drifted south, and imagined what it would feel like to not have clothes as a barrier between them. He wanted to carry her closer, to push closer, to feel her more.

But she wasn't ready for that.

He turned the water to cold.

Perhaps this would be his new habit.

\---

Ben proceeded to his satellite office. Belle had followed his instructions, and it felt like his office in Manhattan.

Library to the left. A couch for guests in front of his table and a chair for consultations or concerns that required them to have access to his table.

He had a view of the reception area from here, and it was alright. What bothered him was the all glass partitions, but they had it frosted so it won't bother him too much. It just felt like being a goldfish watched in a tank.

He had a conference call with the owner who had required him to gather data for a site. It lasted till lunch time, and he couldn't contact Rey. Perhaps she needed time to recuperate from her meeting.

Chewie had stopped him this morning, and had given him a lunch bag. A gift from Malla.

It was veg and hummus dip, with a side of pita and roasted pork. He guessed that she was experimenting again.

He ate at his office, and breathed deep for the announcement that was to come. He was going to take his own advice and deal with problems _once they arise_ and not get too anxious about problems that _could_ arise.

He didn't hold Chewie and Luke's head in his hands. It's their opinions that mattered to him the most but to respect the other partners, he would have to listen to their concerns as well.

_Rey._

He checked his phone, and she hasn't been answering. She's probably busy with her own clients. He'll be able to see her after lunch.

\---

Chewie, Luke, and Snoke were chatting when Rey had arrived. She chose to sit beside Luke, when Mephalda and Miriam had arrived. Miriam smiled at her. Mephalda gave her a nod, looking tired already.

Perhaps she had a bad morning.

Ben knocked and opened the door.

He smiled at her as if she were the only one in the room.

Relief.

She was flooded with relief. Ben moved to sit at the head of the table, and Rey and the others moved to stand.

Her vision went blurry.

Then black.

\---

Ben saw her, and he felt relief. He knew that he would fight for her.

She looked pale when she smiled.

She stood up, and she fell down.

Luke caught her before her head hit the glass table.

Panic.

"Rey!" He said uncaring of the people around him.

Eyes looked to him as he rushed towards Rey.

Luke looked to him with shock then knowing, and let him pass.

Ben held Rey's face lightly, checked her pulse. Weak but still within range of normal pulse rate.

Her hands felt cold though.

"Uncle Luke, where's the nearest hospital?"

"We usually go to the Makati Medical Center. I'll take you. I better call Obet."Luke said confused and trying to keep calm.

"Please do but I'll go with Belle. You can follow us later after you've contacted Architect Kenobi." He said, dialing Belle's number. She'll get the car ready.

Ben moved to carry Rey out.

Mephalda was the first to speak. "Benny what the hell is going on?"

"I'll make it quick. Rey and I are romantically involved. I'll deal with the consequences later. Thank you."

He inclined his head towards the partners and Charlie, and left.

He could feel his pulse pumping in his ear. It will be okay. All logical signs point to Rey surviving. Doctors will understand what has happened. He will spare no expense to help her. He controlled his breathing. He will not break down.

Belle picked them up at the lobby. She drove like a madwoman, turning on the hazard lights to alert traffic that it was an emergency. They were at the hospital in 5 minutes.

They were silent in the ride there, but Ben could feel Belle's tension and worry.

"I'll ask them to let you in when I've sorted her out." Ben said to Belle once Rey was put on a wheelchair.

"Her psychiatrist's name is Dr. Maz Kanata. I've already called her. She said she'll be waiting for you at the emergency room." Belle said before proceeding to the parking floors.

She was put in the acute bay. Her vital signs were alright. All logical signs that she's gonna be okay but Ben felt himself shaking. She's gonna be alright.

_Breathe. Breathe._

She was hooked up to an IV. They drew her blood. Ben held her hand while waiting for the doctors.

"Are you Ben?" Dr. Kanata peeked in to find him and Rey.

Ben stood up, and tries his best to keep his composure.

"Dr. Kanata. Nice to meet you. I'm Ben Solo." He shook the doctor's hand.

"She'll be alright Ben. I've checked her vitals and her blood works. It seems her blood sugar dropped today, and she's anemic and deficient in her vitamins. She's had a history of not eating when she's stressed out. Do you know of any major stressors she's been through recently?"

"I know of two. We were going to announce our relationship, and she's been stressed out about one of her projects."

"I see. Let's wait for her to wake up. I'll have to admit her for the evening for observation. Just a formality for cases like this."

"Thank you." Ben said. Trying to feel relieved.

"It's okay Ben. You'll both be okay." The doctor gave him a small smile, and left to give her orders to the nurses. Ben paid the room, and they were ushered upstairs.

He messaged Luke and Belle on where to find them.

Luke had brought Rey's belongings from the office, and Belle brought them all snacks.

_Rey_ _must be incredibly tired. It's been 6 hours since she's fainted._

Ben didn't leave her side. He was patiently waiting for her to wake up. He held her hand, and ran his thumb over her knuckles.

Belle looked like she was praying. She kept her hands clasped, and she was seated on the bench beside Luke.

"So it's you and her?" Luke said his face grave for a change.

"Yes uncle. I think I love her." He said not daring to look his uncle in the face.

His mouth felt wet, and he realized he's started crying. He reached for his pocket, when Rey tightened her grip.

"Ben." She said faintly.

"Rey." He let his tears fall. His special girl was finally awake.

"I'm sorry." She said. Her voice hoarse from sleep.

"It's okay. You were just stressed out." He said wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Belle shot up from her seat and went outside to call the nurse. Dr. Kanata instructed them to be informed once she was awake.

"You were worried?" She asked pulling the words from his mouth.

"Yes."

"Thank you Ben for worrying." She squeezed his hand again.

They heard three voices outside. Belle and Dr. Kanata entered first. Followed by Architect Obet Kenobi.

"Rey. Sweet Rey. How are you my child?" Architect Kenobi made his way to Rey's other side. Rey opened her hand, and he reached to squeeze it.

"I think I'm not okay Uncle. I'm just so tired."

"This too shall pass." He said firmly. Squeezing her shoulders.

"May I have a moment alone with Rey?" Dr. Kanata said.

Belle, Luke, and Ben made their way out.

Kenobi asked if he could stay, but Dr. Kanata said she needed to talk with Rey first.

"Obet, this is Ben my nephew. You remember him." Luke said introducing the two.

"Ben. I'm Obet." Obet reached out his hand. Trying to place this young man that stood before him.

"Ben." He tried to look him in the eye and counted but his hands were shaking.

This was the closest man Rey had to a father.

He didn't know, if it was a good impression for him to meet him at hospital. His mind was reeling but he endeavored to focus.

"Ben, I'm not going to eat you." Kenobi said trying to get a smile out at him.

"I'm sorry Sir. I should have sought her out. She's been out of it since last Friday, and I thought she was okay. I should have done a better job." Ben's tears were falling. This man loved Rey as well. He would understand his distress.

"It's okay Ben. She never really let anyone in. She would tough it out until she collapses like today. The last time she had an episode was after her first week back after graduating. Dahlia had died the month before, and she started working right after she moved her stuff in." Kenobi sighed rubbing his neck.

He looked to the ceiling, and muttered "Layla, I wish you were here."

"Architect Solo. It's okay." Belle squeezed his shoulder.

Ben was sobbing by now. Luke didn't know what to do. He squeezed his shoulder, and laid his hand on his head. Guiding him in for an embrace.

"Ben. It's okay. It's okay." Luke said trying to calm him.

Ben felt useless. He couldn't protect her. He didn't sense that her not replying was a sign.

That was a lie. His rational side said. Yesterday was a good day. He had fed Rey then. He just needed to make sure Rey will also learn how to care for herself. He had to help.

But it was still painful. Seeing her turn white as sheet. Checking her breathing. Clutching her close when she felt so cold.

Luke was rubbing figure eights at Ben's shoulders just as Leia did in these situations. He felt himself calming down.

"Thank you Uncle. I think I'm good." He said giving his uncle's shoulders a squeeze. Luke gave him his handkerchief, and he wiped his face.

"It's nice to meet you son. Luke told me that you're pursuing my dear niece?"

"Yes sir. I will try harder to care for her. She deserves more than me but I'll try my best."

"Do or do not. There is no try." Kenobi replied. His smile containing a secret.

"Kenobi don't scare the kid. My nephew here is absolutely smitten with Rey. Why when I first saw them together, I wondered why they haven't jumped each other yet." Luke laughed.

Ben felt his face warm. Finally. A feeling that wasn't sadness.

"You're right Engineer Luke. I think Architect Solo forgets everyone in the room when he looks at Rey. He's very sweet Sir Kenobi. I don't think he'll hurt Rey intentionally."

"Thank you Belle. That means a lot." Ben realized that Belle could have been Rey's best friend.

Ugh. Belle really deserves a raise. He just realized that he was so focused on Rey that he hadn't thanked her yet.

"Well, I guess that's that." Kenobi clapping his hand to Ben's back.

"You got Belle's approval so that's something. I'll have to talk to Rey first. In my mind, she's my daughter. You'll understand that I'm quite new to this." He said chuckling gravely.

"Thank you for considering me." Ben said. Trying to maintain eye contact. He was exhausted. Belle squeezed his shoulder, and handed him a water bottle.

"Mr. Kenobi?" Dr. Kanata called out Rey's room.

"Present. Ben, dear, come with me."

"Oh I couldn't possibly…” He said not wanting to intrude.

"It's okay. Your Rey's family now too." Kenobi clapped his back again, and guided him forward.

Dr. Kanata smiled at this remark, and led them inside.

Dr. Kanata looked to Rey, and said, "Okay. Rey. Do you need help?"

"Yes."

"Will you be able to take your medicine?"

"Yes. I will. I'll have Ben and Uncle Obi to remind me too in case I forget."

"Thank you Rey. Now Mr. Kenobi and Mr. Solo, the nurses will be administering her medication here.

"She has no food restrictions but she needs to up her calorie intake. She needs at least 1500 to 1600 calories a day to recover well. I've also prescribed her some vitamins since she's gravely deficient in Vitamin D and E,and iron.

"Rey can fill you in on the rest of the details, as well as the doctor's discharge instructions that will be handed to you on your way out. If there are any problems, here is my card." She brought out two, and gave it to them.

"I've already prepared her discharge papers for tomorrow. The nurses will guide you. She has insurance, and I made sure this was covered. Thank you for your time." She nodded to Kenobi, and looked to Ben.

"Ben, can I speak to you alone? There's a doctor's area where we can discuss. I'll usher in the others after we leave."

He nodded, and he said to Rey, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be here." Her smile small but still brighter than earlier.

Dr. Kanata led him to sitting room with glass enclosure.

_W_ _hat is up with glass enclosures?_

Dr Kanata sat down, and asked him to sit.

"You're probably wondering why I singled you out."

"Yes."

"Ben, I received your files from Dr. Pearson. I'll be your psychiatrist while you're here."

"Oh. That's why the name sounded familiar." He said trying to remember Dr. Pearson's email.

"You and Rey both have histories of mental illness. It's not impossible to go through a relationship with these as factors, but in light of this, I would like to see you weekly as well. If you're okay with it, I'll meet with you each individually, then, I'll meet with you both."

"Like couple's therapy?" He said remembering the sessions he'd watched his parents go through.

"Yes. I think it would benefit you both to learn from each other. You understand that I want to take care of you too. I've already obtained Rey's consent. I ask if you consent to this."

"I consent. Thank you doctor." He acknowledged that Rey needed this. He needed this as well. He wasn't used to this overwhelming emotion.

Loving someone is hard but it's worth it. Rey is worth it. Her smile and her laughter was worth everything and more.

"Okay. I'll see you next week at 10am. Rey meets with me at 9am. Then, both of you at 11am. Do you have work on Saturdays?"

"I'll adjust my schedule for this. It's important." He said plainly.

"It is. Thank you Ben again. I look forward to being part of your journey and you and Rey's journey together as a couple." She smiled. He felt the warmth radiating from this woman. It was indeed comforting.

Dr. Kanata said her farewell, and Ben made his way back to the room.

\-------

When Ben left the room, the light in its aura dimmed.

Her adoptive uncle squeezed her shoulder while he heard Luke and Belle conversing outside.

"Rey, my child, do you love Ben?" Obet asked, his expression serious, and looking her in the eye.

"I think I do uncle." She said feeling the tears coming.

Obet raised his eyebrow, and asked, "This is not a passing thought or a fluttering of fancy?" She smiled at her uncle's choice of words while his hands were gesticulating a flying butterfly.

"I don't think so.” She looked down trying to think.

"You don't think so or you know so?" He asked playing with her.

She quietened. She thought of all the things that has happened in their short time together, her unwavering feelings about Ben, his support and his understanding. Everything about him.

"I love him uncle. It doesn't make sense but I love him." Relief flooded her once again and small tears falling from her eyes.

_I'm crying. Everyone's crying. Ugh I need to pull it together._ She thought, wiping her eyes.

"It's okay Rey. It's okay. It doesn't have to make sense. What you and Ben have is special. You don't need to over-think this." He said while massaging her hands.

She laughed at that.

Over-thinking is her specialty.

"Now the medication Rey. Please if you find it in your heart, take it Rey. I only have one non-negotiable with you, and that is you take care of yourself. Even if you don't feel like it, even if you're busy, you have to do it.

"I'm trying Rey. I'm not Dahlia. I'm not Layla. But, I love you Rey. In my heart of hearts you're my niece and you're my daughter. You gave us a fright. I drove straight from the sugar farm from here. Do you believe that I love you my child?"

"Yes uncle. I love you too. I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm just... You weren't okay too. I didn't want you to feel worse because of my inability to adjust at work."

"Rey. All I heard from Chewie is praise. You've been doing wonderful at work. The clients have even called me to thank me for letting you take the reins. They told me that you've reached my level at your young age. Rey. All I am is proud of you. If you need a break, I'm sure they would understand." He said rubbing her shoulders. They were hard as a rock.

She's been holding her breath. It's only been a short time. Her rational siderejoiced at the compliment but the irrational one kept saying that it wasn't enough.

"Rey. You work smart. It's possible dear. You don't need to work yourself till you're down to the wick. From what I remember, you quadruple check things. It's okay dear, but set a limit for yourself. Nothing will ever be perfect. There's someone else up there who does that." He smiled pointing upwards.

"But..."

"You're taking the week off dear. I told Chewie and Luke you need the break. I've been putting too much pressure on you. I knew you could do it, and I was too excited to see what you can do. I didn’t realize Layla loved you as you loved her. You need space to grieve my girl.

“ On a lighter note, the Chengs have accepted your design for the arena. They had high praises for you as Chewie told me. You deserve the week off."

"But..."

"You're not a project architect anymore Rey. Your responsibilities have shifted. I should have prepared you more, but I think you're doing well. Just a little more guidance, and you're there." He smiled.

Opening his arms up to ask for a hug.

She opened her arms, and Obet gave her a tight squeeze that made her let out a little squeak.

They laughed. Tension finally leaving her.

Someone knocked, Luke and Belle entered with food and bags.

Ben followed them in.

.

Rey called Belle, and gave her a hug.

"Thank you BB. I love you girl. You're really such a huge help to me." Belle laughed and squeezed her to bits.

"Don't do this to me again!" Belle said her voice serious and bordering on anger.

Anger and worry.

Belle smacked Rey's arm, and said,"You. Keep. On. Collapsing." Articulating each word with a tap on her arm.

She stepped back putting her hands on her hips, and said, "I mean: I love you Rey, but this. This was the worst. I thought you were never gonna wake up. This was even worst than after your thesis defense at school! I didn't know you didn't have breakfast, and sure you lacked sleep (we all did), but now, you missed breakfast and lunch and you lacked sleep. You did amazing at the defense. Thanked the professors for your Uno, and left the room. Then, when we finished clearing your things, you just fell asleep while standing and keeled over. I had to drag your sorry ass to the university hospital."

Belle's face was the most expressive Ben has ever seen her.

Her eyes were dilated her, bun was off center, her glasses were nearly falling off, and her face was splotchy with red marks. She was rubbing her face with her hands, and Rey reached out for her.

"I'm sorry." Rey looked down in shame.

"Friends tell. I can't believe you didn't even mention that you liked Architect Solo. I mean sure it was definitely obvious but your friend could have had a head's up you know. I could be wrong.

"Seeing someone as calm and collected as Architect Solo here shaking while holding your unconscious body will not be the highlight of my decade." She said rubbing her temples.

Ben felt heat going up to his neck and ears. He finished his curry rice quietly.

Luke cleared his throat and said, "Obet, girls, Ben, I have to get going. Thanks for the food, it's quite late. Ben, do you need a ride?"

"I would like to stay the night, if Rey and Obet would let me." He said looking to the both of them for permission.

Rey looked to her uncle.

"Uncle?"

"Ben dear. I think you should go home and rest. You've had an excitable day.I can take it from here. You need a good night's sleep, and you can come in the morning. You too Belle. Go home. Get some rest. We all need some peace after this." Obet said calmly. Feeling ludicrous at this situation.

His Rey used to be a gangly teenager, now, she is a woman who confessed to being in love. He would like to take this time to talk to her, and take care of her more.

"I understand but if I may, I'll just leave when Belle leaves." Ben nodded and looked to Belle.

"That's fine with me. Belle?" Obet nodded.

"No problem Tito." Belle letting her walls down.

Luke went to Rey, and asked if he could kiss her on the cheek.

Rey was startled but she nodded.

He kissed her cheek, and clapped her back, "Welcome to the family Lady Rey."

Obet laughed nervously. Not knowing exactly what he's gotten himself into.

Luke said his farewells, gave Ben another bone crushing hug, then left.

The smell of curry still in the room, Ben and Belle cleaned up while Obet opened the bags Belle retrieved from Rey's car earlier.

It was her emergency bag, filled with work clothes and casual clothes. Belle had set up her toiletries earlier before she left.

Obet spoke quietly with Rey. Telling her about the state of the sugar farm after Layla's death. Telling her he had the support of Layla's family, and everything was going smoothly. He also got some local projects and local architects that helped him out. His office was a mere 5 person affair but they made do.

Rey was grateful for the catch up, seeing her uncle still mourning but moving on. It wasn't as sudden as her parents' deaths. Layla's health was never perfect. She suffered from respiratory problems, and ultimately, got lung cancer. It's been a long year of fighting, and she was strong. Even in her last breath, she showed no signs of fear.

Ben could feel that Rey was more relaxed. Satisfied, he signaled to Belle, if she was ready.

She nodded, and they told Rey goodbye.

It had been a long day. He needed to be strong for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what happens when someone gets admitted for a nervous breakdown. Thank you for bearing with me.
> 
> Uno as a grade in university - in most universities in the Philippines, we use a general weighted average for the grading system. the grading system goes like so:  
> 1.00 - 100 %  
> 1.25 - 95-99 %  
> 1.50 - 90-94 %  
> 2.00 - 85-89 %  
> 2.25 - 80-84 %  
> 2.50 -76-79%   
> 3.00 - 75 % passed  
> 5.00 - failed
> 
> from suicide.org:  
> "If You are Suicidal...  
> If you or someone you know is in immediate danger  
> because of thoughts of suicide
> 
> Please call 911 now
> 
> If you are not in the U.S., please call your local emergency number.
> 
> There is help for you. Stay on the phone with the operator and wait for help to arrive. Do not hesitate to call. Your life is extremely valuable, and people care about you. Please reach out for help. Never act on your thoughts of suicide. Never.
> 
> If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines:
> 
> 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)  
> 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
> 
> Suicide Prevention Lines  
> You may call these suicide prevention numbers from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day. People are waiting to help you. Call a suicide prevention number right now if you need to. And always remember that it is never okay to act on your thoughts of suicide. Never. Again, call a suicide prevention number now if you need to.
> 
> Never act on your thoughts of suicide.  
> Extensive suicide prevention hotline numbers, categorized by country or state, can be found on the Suicide Prevention Hotlines pages of this web site. Go to the Suicide Prevention Hotlines index page now if you need to.  
> Suicide is never the answer.  
> Getting help is the answer."
> 
> TMI you don't need to read if you want to about my experience with mental illness: I have OCD, and I have had breakdowns where no one knew what was going on. I barely ate or slept, or slept a lot and ate a lot. The thoughts can be consuming, and we forget that people love us and care for us since we're obsessing over this thought. If you know someone who is suffering from OCD or mental illness, it helps to know that we are loved. One of my central obsessive thoughts was that I deserved to die and I was a burden to society. It led me to attempt to attempt suicide. You read it right. I was preparing my suicide letters. I was out of it at school, and just went to pass. I did well. I still landed the Dean's list and finished the semester at 4th place. I was unhappy. It was one of my worst years. Someone encouraged me. Someone who was a stranger. I didn't push through with my attempt of an attempt. She was well and truly a stranger, and she noticed I was crying at the library. I didn't know why, but I told her my plans. Talking to her stopped me from acting on it. Then, when I told my classmates that I was suffering these thoughts for more than four years now during a required class retreat, a classmate of mine cried for me, and told me that she wouldn't want me to disappear. She became my best friend, and it's been 7 years since then. Hope is existent. Hope is available to you. Seek help. Accept help. Approach people you trust. A professor, a friend, a professional, but never act on suicide. Mental illness is a real illness, and it can be managed like any chronic illness. Find a support group to help you. You will make it.  
> I'm 24 now, turning 25 in August. When I was 15 years old, I decided I was meant to die before I reached 18. I'm still here. I know now that sometimes the mind lies. Find your hope. Find help. My heart goes out to those who are suffering from Mental illness.
> 
> Thank you for reading my story. I really hope this helps people see that everyone has a story. :) Thank you again. I'm so honored to be part of this community.


	10. Chapter 10: Legato ([leˈɡaːto]; Italian for "tied together") indicates that musical notes are played or sung smoothly and connected.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets to go home. Ben and Rey sweetness incoming. Also, a gift for everyone at the end, I could say, it's the climax of the story. **wink wink**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature rating to be earned with this chapter. You were warned.

Chapter 10

Rey slept like a log. She was prescribed sleep medication besides her vitamins and antidepressants. She really was going to need the week off.

She thought of her new acceptance of loving Ben. It was different: having someone else to allow to enter her heart. It was scary but calming.

It was the truth.

She woke before her uncle, and he looked tired as well. She watched as his chest rose and fell, while he snuggled the blanket closer.

She found it comforting that he managed to sleep on the too small upholstered bench the hospital room had.

She will take care of herself so her uncle wouldn't have to worry. She needed to try. She really needed to try. She escaped her problems before this, but this was too much.

Belle was right. Ben was right. Obet and Dr. Kanata were right.

She was loved. She felt it right now. She just had to open her heart to it. She tried to be pragmatic but this... This was truth as well.

She was loved by so many. She even felt love and concern from Engineer Luke and Architect.

It was something to be thankful for.

She checked her phone for the time, and saw that it was already 9am.

She was stuck in the hospital and soon at her flat for house arrest.

_No. For rest._

Resting has never been her strongest suit. She even surprised herself last Sunday by letting Ben carry her to bed.

He was spoiling her.

She tried to spoil him too.

The nurse came in to take out her IV since her blood works from this early morning showed she's improved vastly. Also, she related that she'll be served breakfast any moment now, and that she had already informed her very loving and persistent boyfriend that visiting hours had now started.

The nurse gave her a wink, and left the room telling her to just call her once she's finished eating so she can administer the medication.

Rey felt glad.

_Ben was on his way to her room._

She heard her uncle shifting in his sleep. Snuggling up and snoring louder.

She worked him too hard. Pampanga to Makati was a three hour affair, and she knew her uncle also hadn't invested in an automatic transmission.

She stood up. Testing her legs. It was okay. A bit shaky but okay.

A soft knock.

"Come in." She said softly.

"Good morning." Ben said while holding up some bags. He walked beside her, and set down the bags on the bar refrigerator.

It smelled like breakfast.

"Auntie Malla sent these. She was worried about you and Architect Kenobi. She prepared breakfast for Architect Kenobi and I so we could eat with you, and she gave you some fruit to have with your breakfast. Uncle Chewie wanted to the visit, but Auntie deterred him by telling him that seeing Architect will only make you remember your stress."

Another knock on the door, and the dietary crew came to serve up her breakfast.

Vigan longganisa, a fried egg, fried rice with toasted garlic, sauteed vegetables, and fruit gelatin.

They looked to her uncle to see if he stirred. His snoring softened, and he turned to the wall beside him.

Rey made a quiet sound with her hand, and made her way to the toilet to wash up.

Ben stood nearby in case she needed some help.

She walked a bit slowly but surely, and managed to do her morning ablutions.

Belle is the best friend she could ever have. She organized the vanity with her emergency toiletries. She washed her face and did her thing.

Once she was out, Ben whispered to ask if he could kiss her. She nodded, and he leaned in. Wrapping his arms around her. Both their mouths tasting like toothpaste, they let go both satisfied.

She smiled and kissed his nose, and motioned for Ben to carry her, and he was more than happy to. She noticed Ben liked it when she relied on him just a little. This was her spoiling him, and maybe her legs did feel a bit shakier than usual.

He set her down gently on the bed, and moved to serve their breakfast.

Malla had the same idea as the hospital and had some Lucban longganisa and fried rice and eggs.

The room smelled like garlic. She laughed softly, and Ben sliced up her sausages. She gave him one of hers and he gave her one of his. They ate quietly while looking at each other. Rey leaned her forehead towards Ben's forehead and breathed him in. It was indeed a wonderful morning.

Someone cleared their throat.

Rey leaned back and looked to her uncle. Still a bit rumpled from sleep, he had a small smile.

"Sorry to disturb you, but am I right that you brought me breakfast, Ben?" He looked to Ben in an appraising gaze.

"Yes, Architect Kenobi. Auntie Malla sent these, and here please have some guyana(?), she insists that they were in season."

Obet cocked his head in confusion, when Ben brought out the green fruit littered with black dots and a container with breakfast and utensils.

"You mean: gu-ya-ba-no, Ben." Obet said calmly.

"Yes. Sorry. Guyabano. It's high in vitamins and minerals, so she said it will be good for you Rey. I'll bring some more to your flat, so you and Architect Kenobi can eat it together."

"Ben. Son. Just call me uncle. We all know where this is going, and I'm a fool if I think this is going to change in a few months." Obet said shaking his head in disbelief that this was his life now.

He remembered Rey when she first came to them, and she was flighty, afraid, and quiet. She was a studious girl, did her best not to get into trouble. No sign of suitors. No sign of romantic interests. Always placed in the Dean's list. Graduated 3rd in her batch. A delight in every way.

Now, she found herself someone to love. The owner of a multi-billion dollar architecture firm that had connections with people all over the world...

…and they were Eskimo kissing while having breakfast. He missed Layla more.

"I'm going to wash my face. You kids go ahead and do what you were doing." He stood up, and took his stuff to the toilet.

Ben laughed. Rey gaped.

"I think it's safe to say that they accept." He said squeezing Rey's hand, then returning to eating his fried rice. It was such a good experience. He wondered why any tourist would leave behind Filipino food.

Rey looked serene. She smiled at him widely showing her teeth, and started laughing. Her tension leaving her, and her face was still red from the embarrassment of getting caught.

She finished her food. Feeling the fullest she's ever filled. The guyabano Ben cut up was good. It was sweet and sour and grainy and milky. Ben licked the sweet and sour milk from her lips when she was finished.

They refrained from other forms of PDA when her uncle came back from toilet.

He had changed clothes, and started digging into his breakfast. He thanked Ben for bringing it, and he mentioned that he'll message Chewie and Malla later in gratitude.

A crisp knock sounded three times.

Dr. Kanata entered the room, and explained the results of her blood works. She was well and truly cleared to go home.

Belle came rushing inside, and gave Dr. Kanata a hug.

Dr. Kanata laughed and told Belle, "Belle dear, you've been through a lot with Rey here. Both of you should take care of yourself kids. You really do make this old aunt worry." She said patting Belle's back.

Belle came and squeezed Rey's hand, and she winked at Ben.

Ben was surprised. He still wasn't used to seeing Belle act so casually. She was smart and efficient, and now she also fit into the role of Rey's best friend.

Belle started packing up, and hung up Rey's going home clothes. Kenobi stepped out to handle Rey's discharge.

Rey had asked about Architect and the others reactions to her blackout.

Ben remembered something. "Rey. Please don't be angry. When you blacked out, they looked so confused, and I told them. I knew that we agreed, but I had to tell them. It felt like Mephalda was about to trip out, when she saw me carrying you."

Rey let out a solid breath. She told him she was happy that she didn't need to make that announcement anymore. It was a torn plucked out from her chest.

"And their reactions Ben?" She pressed.

"Uncle Chewie said that Miriam laughed and gave Mephalda a hug. He said not to worry about Mephalda. "She had line of suitors, and she tended to move on quickly."" Ben said air quoting.

"Then, Architect Snoke wasn't too pleased but he didn't object as long as it didn't interfere with our work. He admitted that you _are_ one of the most efficient partners, and you only brought good to the company.

"Uncle Chewie and Auntie Malla surprised me. They rooted for us even in the beginning. I'm starting to think that if we didn't do this ourselves, they would have pushed us towards each other."

She could almost see the sun shining from Ben's body. He was relaxed and elated. Even though they were yet to say it to each other, they knew how they felt. They could feel it in their warmth and in their actions.

They were satisfied.

Belle had finished up, and ushered Rey to the bathroom.

Belle began opening up to Ben about her friendship with Rey. They met in college at the guidance counselor's office. Rey was a volunteer, and she was helping younger students adjust with school.

Belle was a double major student, and the school let her cross enroll with the higher years when it came to her general education courses. Belle helped her feel like she was welcome. Eventually, she chose classes that were with her, and Rey had helped her out even when she graduated ahead of her. Belle held degrees in both Civil engineering and Architecture. She was working on her third license, since she wanted to become a structural engineer as well. She couldn't stop her love for learning. Every waking moment was important.

She felt that she owe it to Rey that she graduated on time, and that she managed to graduate with the highest honors. Rey had supported her when everyone was too intimidated.

Belle repeated that she loved Rey. She was the sister she never had.

"Thank you Belle for telling me. You are truly remarkable. Everything you do, you do with pride. I'm in awe of you."

"Thank you Architect Solo. That's a huge compliment."

That mostly explained where Belle was when she wasn't shadowing him. She was taking a hiatus from her work at UNO, and only helped out when she wasn't in school studying.

He felt guilty that a talent like her was doing errands for him.

As if reading him, she said, "don't worry Architect Solo. It is a joy to serve. My parents taught me that to be a good leader, one must be a good follower. Also, I'm learning a lot from you as well. When you take me around, I see a perspective that I don't usually see, and I value that. I'm actually quite grateful that Engineer Luke assigned me to be your shadow. It's been an interesting experience so far. Of course, you falling in love with my best friend wasn't something I was expecting but that is also a learning experience for me."

Belle was extremely open. He was glad for this. He didn't like playing games with people, and people like Belle were very easy to talk to.

Ben asked about Belle's experience at going back to university, and she was more than delighted to relate everything she was learning. She was so excited to become a structural engineer, so she could help other architects build forms that were only available to their imagination. She related that Luke was a valuable resource as well, and she had obtained his recommendation to sending her to MIT to further her studies. She would be leaving by July next year.

Ben smiled softly at remembering July. That would be when he left. Can he truly leave Rey alone? He would need to think of this in earnest since he was certain that he loved her. He set aside this thought for later.

Rey came out looking radiant. She was wearing pale green sundress with a cream colored cardigan. Belle had retrieved her flats, and she helped Rey wear them.

Her hair was still a bit damp, and she started drying her hair when her uncle came in.

"It's done. The orderlies will help us load. Belle you just walked here? How about you Ben?"

"Yes. I walked." Ben and Belle said simultaneously.

"Good thing I brought the van. I'll drive up front, and you guys can help the orderlies gather the things and load."

They made their way to Rey's flat. Her uncle had a flat at the floor above hers, and he had asked if he needed to be with her. She declined, and insisted he rest after lunch.

Ben helped her set her alarms and sort her medication. He knew that they were indispensable and necessary. Belle helped start the laundry and cleaned up whatever whirlwind Rey left the flat in last Monday. Ben ordered food for all them, and they a had a good meal. Kenobi yawned and made his way upstairs. They thanked him, and he waved good night.

She felt loved. These people valued her. It felt too much, but it felt enough. Like she was finally enough. She sat down on the couch, and asked Ben to sit beside her. She was still feeling a bit cold.

Ben sat on the couch and pulled Rey in front of him. Rey gladly took this opportunity to just soak in his presence.

She closed her eyes and focused on his smell. His touch. His clothes. She was facing him in an embrace.

He was drawing figure eights at her back, and it was strangely calming.

Belle peeked at them, and told Ben, "Architect Solo, I prepped some dinner. It's in the fridge. You can heat it up later. I'll leave you two to it. Good night love birds." She said looking content with her work for the day.

Ben mouthed her a thank you as Rey was drifting off between sleep and awareness.

He heard the door locked up, and he held Rey closer.

He focused on her smell. She always smelled of lavender and lemon. It must have been her shampoo or her detergent. He started massaging her scalp, and she groaned in pleasure. He undid her hasty bun, and started braiding her hair

.

Rey feeling a bit awake said, "you know how to braid hair?"

He chuckled. "I had mom teach me when I grew my hair back in college. It fell just below my shoulders like yours."

"Whoa. I want to see photos of that."

"No. You don't." He finished up, and tied her hair back again. It was a French braid. He was good with his hands.

Rey's stomach gurgled into his.

Ben laughed and pulled her up to get dinner.

Belle was a good cook. She made some vegetable pasta soup and grilled Rey's chicken. It was filling.

He was sure that Belle counted the calories so she would comply with Dr. Kanata's requirements. She even made enough so Rey could heat it up at breakfast.

Ben and Rey read over the list, and she took her antidepressant. The prescription instructed her to take her sleeping pill, two hours before she was about to sleep.

It was 7pm, and she thinks it was a reasonable hour enough.

Rey led Ben to the couch feeling a bit braver. She felt sure of her feelings and that gave her the strength to move forward with Ben. She wanted to try something while she was still feeling awake.

She asked Ben to sit on the couch, and she straddled him, opening herself up to her.

"What are you planning?" His eyes containing fear, curiosity and arousal.

"Do you know about dry humping?" She asked softly. Adventurous but not too bold.

"Hmm... Is that when you stimulate yourself even with your clothes on?"

"Yes. Am I allowed to try it with you? Ben. I want you all over me." She confessed. She was feeling deprived. It helped her release her tension last week when she masturbated, and with Ben absolutely handsome and looking at her like he loved her, she felt she was ready for a bigger step. She wanted to jump him since last week, and this wave of love was not helping her dampen her arousal.

"Okay. I think I'll let you handle this. I'll take what you can give me." He said smiling. His eyes darkening with anticipation.

"Going to kiss you and touch you everywhere." She announced. She felt uninhibited by now. She felt comfort that Ben allowed her to take pleasure from his body.

She wrapped his arms around her body, allowing him to cup her ass. She squeezed it with him. Showing him the pressure she preferred.

_She would allow Ben to touch her intimately. That was the goal for today._

Ben looked up at her in awe. Staring into her eyes, and releasing the braid he lovingly did earlier, and combed his hands through her hair with pressure. He pulled her hair slightly, and she groaned again in pleasure.

She leaned down to kiss him. Hard. She invaded his senses. Taking everything in her mouth. Tasting tangy and sweet. It was a heady sensation.

Ben moved to squeeze her ass, and ushered her closer. She felt his arousal around her center.

"Mmmmm." She moaned into his mouth. It was Ben. It was always Ben. It will always be Ben. She took his hands, and led him to her breasts.

She felt him harden, since her sundresses didn't need her to wear a bra. He massaged her breasts and he pinched her tips slightly.

"Oh Ben that's so good." She massaged his scalp, and pulled on his hair like he did hers, and he started moving his crotch against hers.

"Rey. Please. Touch me more." Ben begged. She applied pressure to him all over as she kissed him. She kissed his neck and massaged his arms. He was firm. She moved to his chest, and started kneading his pectorals. He groaned at that. She sucked on his neck, and moved to lift his shirt, and he could practically feel a current pass through him when she touched his back with her bare hands.

_This was hot. This was definitely hot._

She moved her hand to his pants, and tried to squeeze his butt through his boxers. The butt she stared at when they first met. It was as firm as the rest of his body. She was glad Ben was taking good care of himself.

She touched Ben's crotch and looked to him for permission. He nodded staring into her lovingly.

She undid his zipper, touched him on top of his boxers. She wasn't quite ready to touch him with her bare hands. She started moving up and down, and she looked at Ben's face for clues.

He started to groan softly. She kissed him, and continued to rub firmly. She established a rhythm, and she felt his boxers getting moist with his arousal. She moved to touch his tip, and he squeezed he breasts in response.

She was whimpering when he continued to rub her nipples with his fingers through her dress, and with her voice laced with lust, "Ben. I think I'm ready. Touch me here."

She led his right hand to underneath her dress towards her under shorts. It turned him on that she wasn't just wearing underwear underneath. Another layer to peel off of her. She bunched her skirts away from her lower half, and she guided Ben's hands to her tip. He could feel that it was swollen through her thin clothes. And wet. Really wet.

He tested brushing against her lightly, and she tossed her head back and moaned.

"Ben please. Rub it like you would rub yourself."

She leaned to him. Kissed his ear, and bit lightly. She put her forehead against his, and they looked into each other's eyes.

She whispered almost as if to herself, "This is Ben. I think he loves me, and truthfully, I think I love him."

He was in awe of her bravery. This wasn't something she decided lightly. He put his all into giving her pleasure.

"Oh Ben. I'm so close. I want to feel you when we come." She said moving to move his pants lower and out of her way. She ground her hips towards his, and it felt like pure ecstacy. She moved towards him, like she was riding him.

She tried to quiet her moans, and she held his shoulders tightly. He could feel himself nearing as well.

"It's okay Rey. Let it go. Let it go. I'm coming right here with you." He encouraged her.

"Ben!" She moaned, and he felt her pulsing around him. She continued grinding waiting for him.

"Rey..." He followed her softly, and he embraced her closer to him.

They breathed hard and soft. That was their first orgasm together. It felt like a victory because it _was_ a victory. One step closer to overcoming her past.

It was just her. It was just him. Their breathing syncing up together. She cuddled closer and breathed him in.

"I would like to do that again, but I think I'm feeling a bit sleepy." She said in finality.

Ben pulled her in for one last kiss on the lips.

She kissed his nose and moved to stand off of him.

His cum thankfully missed his clothes. It had landed on his stomach and the hem of her wrinkled dress.

They both reddened with embarrassment but smiled at each other in satisfaction.

Rey got a washcloth from the toilet and gave it to Ben to clean up, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

She went to the toilet to clean up herself and change into pyjamas.

Ben dried himself off. Thankful that his clothes weren't as soiled as he expected.

He checked his appearance in Rey's mirror near the door, and he looked decent enough to walk home.

_Do I have to? I guess I have to. We can't have too much of a good thing. With the way I'm feeling now, I really need a long cold shower._ _Or an ice bath. He might as well run home._

He went back to check on Rey. She was geared up for bed, and was fading on the spot in front of her sink. She gestured for him to carry her, and the distance was short so he hugged her towards him before relinquishing her to her bed.

He tucked her in, and gave her a kiss on her ears. Her temples. Her nose, then finally her mouth.

"Good night my Rey. Thank you for loving me. I love you Rey." He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to love her. Like air was made up of different molecules. Like the sky was blue.

"Good night my Ben. Thank you too for loving me. I love you too." She blinked her eyes, and she felt peace surround her. She fell asleep soundly. Ben waited for her breath to even out completely, and he quietly closed her bedroom door, and made sure the lock closed behind him.

It was time to go home, but tomorrow was a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eskimo kissing - rubbing noses. I read some articles saying it should an Inuit kiss, but I got confused. Feel free to correct me.
> 
> So yep. I wrote my first non-penetrative sex scene. I hope I did it justice (?). Thank you friends for bearing with me.
> 
> I'm happy with this chapter though. It made me super inspired to write the next ones. I'll see you when I see you!


	11. Chapter 11- A rest is a musical notation sign that indicates the absence of a sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's first compulsory vacation in years. What will she be up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all who are still reading.
> 
> Therapy has been helpful and insightful; however, being cut open to fully dissect your very existence has made me feel too raw to write too much. Hopefully, this will act as an appetizer for the coming chapters.
> 
> Setting up the story line for the December Arc.
> 
> Thank you again, and enjoy.

Rey had nothing to do.

They had refused to let her access her work email remotely. No one was answering her queries at the office.

They had blocked her off the office.

Engineer Luke's doing for sure.

And Architect's…

Rey sat on the couch staring at the ceiling.

_Today is Tuesday. It is 9am, and I am not at the office. I am still at home on house arrest. Or sick leave._

She couldn't bother Ben. They weren't supposed to hinder each other from doing their jobs and it was work time for AKR for him.

They’ll be meeting up for dinner, supposedly.

9:03am.

_Aghhh_

Rey rolled around her couch trying to sleep again. She was groggy but she had no desire to sleep.

Perhaps it was her medication.

A light knock sounded on the door.

She stood up to check on who it was, and it showed her Uncle Obi.

She opened the door, and her uncle asked for a hug.

"How are you feeling bucket?"

"Uncle. You know how I feel about being called bucket."

"Would you rather I call you sunshine?"

Rey laughed and nodded.

"Okay sunshine. Have you eaten breakfast? Drank your medicine?"

"Yes and yes." She smiled. Proud that she remembered since Ben had painstakingly set up her phone with it's incessant reminders.

"Okay. I'll be taking you out. You're not on complete house arrest sunshine. You can go shopping. You can go out in the sun. It's a wonderful day!"

"Uncle, don't you have work to do?"

"I can spare today dear, and I'm up for some shopping. I don't want to look like your grandpa."

"Well, uncle, you could be." Rey giggled, knowing her dear uncle does look a bit on the older side with his greying locks.

"All the more reason to come with me. Shall we?"

\---

Her uncle had brought the van so Rey wouldn't tire too much. They went to the mall complex she had taken Ben to during his first day, and they scouted some good shirts for her dear uncle.

They settled with 2 new pairs of form fitting jeans and 4 good shirts. They were on the hunt for a few cardigans as well.

Obi told stories to Rey about how Layla used to shop with him. Clothes were the reason they started dating. Obi and Layla were classmates in graduate school in the UK. Layla was a sheltered young lady (whose family earned a comfortable living with their sugar farm) who decided to study urban agricultural practices in the UK while Obi was an architect who was interested in urban planning.

Layla had spilled coffee on him, and helped him shop for a new shirt as repayment. It was when their interest in each other bloomed.

Rey found it sweet that Obi still loved Layla after years of marriage. She could feel that he missed her. It was no longer sadness but longing she saw in his eyes.

Rey also found a shirt and some slacks that she think would look good on Ben. She also found some pajamas that looked similar to his. She checked the insides, and it was pure cotton with french seams. Hopefully, Ben would like it, and it wouldn’t bother him too much.

Obi had requested they dine at his favorite restaurant: an American casual dining restaurant.

It has one of the best views of the award winning garden that this mall complex had.

They sat overlooking the zen gardens, and he ordered baked nachos, chicken wings, a hearty salad, and grilled pork belly with mash potatoes

"Uncle this is too much for just two of us."

"Well, let's just see. If we can't finish this, we could always take it home." He smiled serenely.

They were eating their wings quietly, when Obi smiled at someone behind her.

"Ben, I'm glad you could make it." Obi smile growing larger.

"Going to hug you." Ben whispered quietly behind her, and gave her a gentle embrace.

She looked behind her, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Uncle Obi invited me to eat lunch with both of you since I do have to eat..." He smiled at Rey while moving to take a seat beside her.

"Thank you Uncle." Rey suddenly grew shy at her uncle's warm gesture. Maybe she wasn't subtle at missing Ben's presence.

Then, she remembered what they did...and what _she_ did last night.

"You're not upset?" Ben asked looking directly into her eyes and moving to squeeze her hand underneath the table.

"No. Of course not." She smiled, covering her cheeks with her hands since she felt her face warming.

"Okay. Let's eat. At least, I don't need to worry about the food getting cold with you two in the room."

Uncle Obi said rolling his eyes at their silent conversation.

They mostly ate in peace with Ben answering a few questions Uncle Obi had about AKR and his parents.

They were debating on having the chocolate lava cake or the chocolate pie for dessert when…

"REY!!!!" A booming voice that enveloped her in familiarity called out to her.

He stepped into Rey’s line of vision.

"FINN! Oh my. Uncle Obi did you know about this?!" She looked to Obi, looking just as surprised as she was, then to Finn, and Finn opened his arms waiting for a hug.

She hugged him, and he lifted her up and spun her around like he used to when they were still studying. She laughed and asked him to please put her down.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were some big-shot now in a structural consultancy in the UK?" She said breathless from being spun like a rag doll while she clutched his face like he was checking if he was real.

"I'm here for a client meeting. You're still at UNO? You're looking positively radiant by the way."

"Yes I am still at UNO, and thank you."

Ben looked on, his face in a neutral expression.

His mind was reeling again, W _ho is this person? Why is he so familiar with Rey? Why is Rey so happy to see him? All irrational questions but questions nonetheless._

Obi settled on with having the pie, since who doesn't love pie.

"Please join us for dessert at least."

"No, thank you. A client is waiting inside, I'll see you around yeah? It was nice to see you, Uncle Obet." Finn looked to Obi, then to Ben.

"Hi I'm Finn." He smiled his megawatt smile, and reached his hand to him.

"I'm Ben." Ben shook it looking to him, trying his best to school his expression into an emotionless one; yet, his heart thrummed in his chest, his shoulders slightly tensing.

"Oh Finn, this is Ben. He's my boyfriend." Rey said, the word sounding foreign in her lips, but it was the truth.

Though boyfriend doesn't seem to match the weight she's looking for.

_Lover? Anchor? A person who_ _I’ve willingly cut open my heart for_ _?_

"Ben, Finn was a good friend in college. I met him through Belle. He's a structural engineer now in the UK."

Ben nodded. Retreating to his usual demeanor.

Finn looked to Rey, and said his farewells.

"Great pleasure to meet you, Ben. I look forward to seeing more of you in the future. Maybe we could have dinner with Rey? I'll tell you her secret stories from college. Rey, I’ll message you about my travel plans." He winked and pivoted towards the inside.

Rey returned to her seat beside Ben and squeezed his hand.

"You okay?" Her eyes searching his.

"Just surprised." He smiled the smile for her benefit.

Ben _was_ surprised.

Surprised at feeling a new emotion.

_Is this what jealousy felt like?_

_Or possessiveness?_

_It was an irrational emotion. Rey said she loved him too. Perhaps it was a different kind of love than the way he loved her?_

_No. There should be no room for doubt._

He trusts Rey.

"You know, Finn only went to our house one week for the summer, Ben, and he fancied one of our neighbors' daughters, Rose. She's lovely." Uncle Obi said.

"I see." Ben said not quite understanding.

"Well, Finn is a good friend, but not like Belle. BB is the best." Rey said with finality.

"Will you like it if I lifted you up like that Rey?" Ben whispered to her ear. Feeling conscious of Uncle Obi, who was still marveling at the chocolate pie ala mode they ordered.

"Honestly, no. I find it a bit stressful when Finn does that. Thank you for asking Ben." Rey smiled, and kissed his cheek once again.

Ben looked to Obi, and he seemed content, savoring every bite of pie and vanilla ice cream.

"Before I forget, do you and Rey mind having dinner with Auntie Malla and Architect, Uncle Obi? They would like to see how Rey is doing." Ben asked.

"If Rey is fine, I would be fine too." He answered and looked to Rey.

"I think I would have to accept. Do I look decent enough Ben?" Gesturing to her sundress.

He loved Rey in sundresses. She was wearing a pale pink sundress with a yellow cardigan and sandals. She looked different than in her regular office clothes shielding her freckles and her lovely collarbone.

"I think it will be fine. Auntie Malla is pretty laid-back." Ben smiled.

His brain jumped to last night, and he remembered what she was wearing underneath...

"Oh Ben. It's quite late. Thank you for letting us take your lunch break. You should get back." Her uncle said glancing at the clock saying 2pm.

"Yes. Thank you for having me. Please allow me to get the bill." Ben said reaching for his wallet.

"Nonsense Ben. There will be other opportunities. Let me." Obi said.

He now understands why Rey takes care of people. Her family cares a lot about others.

Uncle Obi opened his arms for Ben to hug him, he accepted. Obi unwittingly knew how to touch him. He squeezed but not as bone crushing as Luke would.

He gave a parting kiss to Rey's cheek and temple, and left for his satellite office.

\---

Dinner came round, and Rey found herself enveloped in one of Malla's tight hugs.

The interior of the penthouse comforted her. It didn't feel like it was inside a condominium in the city.

Malla ushered them into the sitting area, and gave them some juice and crisps to snack on while dinner was being cooked.

Rey smelled grilled meat and charred vegetables, something savory with tomatoes, and something sour.

Obet said beside her, his foot restless.

_I guess I'm not the only one feeling a bit nervous. I haven't even met his mother yet._

Architect arrived and gave Obet and Rey a hug. "Good to see you Obet. Rey, my dear, I welcome you both to my family. Luke and I are practically brothers by now. Ben is like the son I never had. Thank you for loving him Rey."

Rey felt honored that Architect had given his blessing.

Malla called them all to eat.

Mephalda and Miriam set the table.

Ben helped Malla dish out the courses.

Architect sat at the head of the table with Malla and Obet on either side of him. Ben sat next to Malla, and Mephalda sat next to Ben while Rey sat next to Obet and Miriam beside her.

Ben still found it a bit odd that they were requested to wear indoor slippers at home but he found it satisfying to know that his feet wouldn't get dirty. It was just odd not wearing his socks as well.

That was the first topic of the evening since Malla wanted to see how Ben found the Philippines so far.

Some things still confused him, but he was starting to get used to it. Also, his sleep patterns have vastly improved and working with AKR while he was here turned out to be bearable. Hux was mostly the talker out the two of them, and Ben mostly did the design and the management side.

Mephalda looked a bit worse for wear. She looked tired, and her eyes were red rimmed.

Miriam conversed with Ben like usual. Asking about the projects he was handling and about his other administrative duties.

When the discussion turned too technical, Malla gently reminded them both, "Please no work discussions on the table. We have guests."

"Yes Mama." Miriam said smirking.

She mouthed to Ben, _You started it._

Rey was quiet. A first for him to observe. She listened to the numerous conversations but didn't jump in. She looked a bit paler than yesterday.

Architect asked Obet about Pampanga, the weather conditions, the crops. He asked how Layla's family was, and he related that everything was doing alright even after. Layla foresaw most details and had prepared in advanced. She was still taking care of them even after her death.

Architect smiled, and squeezed Obet's hand. "She is missed."

Rey was enjoying her food. It was grilled pork belly, put over a sour soup with roasted vegetables called sinigang. It felt comforting, and she loved the balance between sour, sweet, and spicy.

Ben seemed to do so as well, trying hard not to glance too long at Rey.

He felt Rey's foot bumping his. He must have stretched his leg too long.

He took off his slipper, and caressed her foot. Her expression changed slightly, surprised, but she only glanced at him, and went back to listening to Obet and Architect.

Thank God for tablecloths.

Rey took off her slippers, and rubbed her feet against his.

She stared down at her soup, and slurped contentedly.

Her feet were quite cold. Unusual. He wondered if Rey minded him not wearing socks.

Miriam looked at them suspiciously, but continued eating and speaking to Mephalda.

\---

When they were served the oranges, the smell made her suddenly nauseous.

"Urp." Everyone looked to Rey.

"Rey are you alright?" Malla said worriedly.

"I'm okay. I'm just a bit... Urp..." She covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Williams. Excuse me." The words rushing out of her mouth as she stood up.

They heard her ask Bong directions to the toilet, then everyone looked to Ben.

"Ben... Did you and Rey...?" Obet said looking almost ready to throw up, himself.

Ben stood up to follow and hurried after her.

He knocked on the toilet door, and said, "Rey are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm just... Could you call Miriam for me?" Her voice strained. _Was it pain?_

"What can Miriam do for you that I can't? What is wrong Rey?"

He heard a notification from his phone.

He ignored it.

Then, another.

Then, a call.

"Rey?"

"Look at your phone Ben." She said almost annoyed.

-i need a sanitary napkin, okay? So could you please call Miriam?-

-please Ben.-

-okay. I'm sorry.- he replied.

Everyone was whispering while waiting for him to arrive, then they turned silent.

He went to Miriam, got her attention and showed Rey's message to her. She nodded.

"Excuse me mother, I need to get something for Rey." Miriam stood up, trying to hide a smile.

"Ben. I'm trying to be calm about this. Could you please tell me what's going on with my dear niece?"

"Rey just had her period come." He said bluntly. Not seeing the need for secrecy.

Everyone in the table gaped at him, then they remembered who he was.

Obet released his held breath.

"I see. Thank goodness." He wiped his forehead with his handkerchief. The thoughts of being a grand-uncle abating from his mind.

"Okay. Who wants coffee or tea, kids? Hot chocolate?" Malla said decisively. She stood up to brew some, and Ben and the girls requested hot chocolate.

Miriam returned with Rey, trying not to laugh at her.

Rey was shy but a bit pale.

"There's nothing wrong with the female anatomy." Ben said looking at her directly.

Rey looked to him in surprise and laughed weakly. Miriam laughed with her. Even Mephalda let out a giggle.

Architect and Obet put their hands over their heads, and Architect mumbled, "We're over ruled. Yes. You're correct Ben."

Rey sat back down, and Malla gave Rey, Ben, Mephalda, and Miriam hot chocolate, while the elders were having chamomile tea.

When the tea and chocolate were mostly finished, the silence broke.

Malla smiled serenely and said, "Well children, that gave us a scare, I hope you can handle the chocolate dear. It really is hard to be a woman, so you children should all use protection."

"Ma!" Mephalda and Miriam sighed at the same time.

"I'm just saying you know. That's how we had twins we kept having a lot of s--."

"Okay, it's getting late. We should let Architect Kenobi, Rey, and Ben go home." Mephalda slapped the table as she stood up from her chair.

Ben asked if he could go home with Rey and Uncle Obi, just to make sure Rey got settled in.

Obet couldn't...or didn't want to stop them. Ben felt so...Ben. He didn't care much about what other people thought.

So Ben rode at the back, while Rey sat at the front.

"Does it hurt Rey?" Ben asked while on the drive home.

"Yes, and I get nauseous when I get them. I guess that's why I was anemic when we were at the hospital." She said. Her voice going to a decrescendo.

She was clutching her middle, and massaging it.

"Do you need to buy anything? I can make a run to the drugstore." Obet asked, while they went up to park.

"No. Thank you Uncle. I'll be fine. I just need a warm bath and a heating pad." She said resigned.

They unloaded their shopping bags, and Ben offered to carry Rey's for her.

They rode the elevator, and Ben wrapped his free arm around her. She was shivering.

_Ben feels warm._

"I'll leave you two to it. Thank you Ben. I know you'll take care of Rey. Good night." He closed the elevator, and waved goodbye. They were consenting adults, and they knew what they were doing.

She opened her door, and almost stumbled forward, her vision dimming.

Ben couldn't help himself anymore. He was gutted that she looked even paler than earlier.

"Going to carry you. Do you want to go to the bathroom first?" He asked when he swept her up.

She nodded and he sat her on the edge of tub.

She pointed at the closet across from the toilet and said, "Pyjamas bottom drawer, pants middle drawer." Clutching her stomach. She was about to vomit again.

She slammed the door closed and started retching into the toilet then flushed.

He scuffled to look for the pyjamas. and he heard Rey draw the bath. She was filling it up, and she sat on the floor shivering while holding the toilet bowl. He hung the pajamas and the underwear on the rack, and scooted down to sit beside her. He gave her her pill case and some water.

She drank it up. Trying hard not to throw up her medication.

"I really dislike this feeling. I'm somewhere between really cold and sweating, and I'm really nauseous, and everyone was thinking that I'm pregnant or something again."

"This happens a lot?"

"Yes. Dahlia used to joke about me with this, that I should just get pregnant so the period cramps would get more bearable."

"Does it really work?" His eyes lit up with more than just curiosity.

"Ben..." She smacked him lightly.

"Going to move you." He moved to sit her on his lap so she wouldn't get too cold from the tiles, and he embraced her firmly. Holding her around her middle.

He rocked her gently, and she seemed to calm down a bit.

"I think the antidepressants are interfering with my hormones. I feel like crying right now."

"You should ask Dr Kanata on Saturday."

"Will I make it to Saturday?" She asked nearing tears.

"Rey..."

"I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I puked away all of Malla's cooking. It was so good, and I love oranges. Why did it have to come today..." She said sniffling.

"Plus, I'm so emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm here letting you hold me like a child." She said. Her thoughts spiraling. No one was usually here to listen to her ramblings. Her mood swings were pretty bad but Ben just kept quiet, and listened to what she had to say. He was drawing figure eights at her stomach, and that helped distract her from the pain.

Ben checked to see if the bath was full, and he lifted her up to sit her on the edge.

"Should you undress me Ben?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Do you want me to?" Ben looked at her like he really wanted to...

"But I'm bleeding." She said flatly realizing the absurdity of her request.

Ben waited for her answer again.

"I want you to but I don't think it's best tonight. Could you wait for me after my bath?" She smiled wanly.

"I'll be here." He said while he moved to leave and close the door.

\---

His thoughts were on overdrive. He wanted to stay. Rey looked weak again. She could look so strong but feel so fragile in his arms.

He loved her in both states. He felt content that Rey trusted him enough with both.

He stood by his earlier statement: there wasn't anything wrong with the human anatomy. Women have periods. The have it monthly. It's the shedding of the build-up of blood vessels and tissues when there is no fertilized egg.

He never understood why women need to hide it. It's natural like breathing.

_But that doesn't mean you should undress her. What would your mother say?_

_Yet, she asked me to. Which begs the question: What are the repercussions of such actions?_

_She didn't ask you to. She was... Vocalizing her thoughts. That doesn't mean she wants you to. She's vulnerable because she's hormonal._

_But I love her I wouldn't hurt her._

_It's because you love her that you shouldn't touch her right now._

_But._

_But!_

_Butts._

His internal monologue was debating again.

Several pings in his phone

-Hey mate. I sent you the reports for what's what here at AKR. How are you doing? I was thinking that me and Phasma could come visit you during the holidays. They said the beaches still look great even in December you know? Perhaps I'll find a lovely lady to watch the stars with...-

-Ben, dear, is Rey alright? Your uncle keeps being cryptic with me. Are you okay?-

-hey bud. What's up? No updates for me? There's this new technology about water closets that might interest you. They're in the mid-high end market. You might want to check them out...-

He ignored them. He was busy debating with himself.

He sat on the couch. He will not wait for Rey on _her_ bed.

He was busy looking at his feet and focusing on the texture of the lush carpet beneath him. Rey's flat had wooden laminate flooring for the common areas, and she strategically put carpets underneath her bed and underneath the living room set. It felt cozy.

He needs to focus on Rey's needs. He's been greedy lately... Trying to get his hands everywhere. He wants them to be everywhere.

What he felt for Rey was like Schubert's Serenade: he was begging to be worthy of her attention, like Debussy's La Mer: encasing him in the waves of emotion like the sea, and like Tchaikovsky's violin concerto: easing it in then rushing then ending beautifully. Overwhelming. Full.

The violin concerto's soloist was playing the 2nd movement in his head when Rey came out. She peeked out, and she was drying her hair with a towel.

"Hey. Better?" He stood to walk to her.

"Much." She said smiling small.

"May I blow dry your hair?" He asked tentatively. She knows touching her hair was something she had trouble with, but she seemed fine with him braiding it before...

"Please. Thank you. I usually don't bother during night's like this." She said gratefully.

"But you'll catch a cold, if you don’t do it." He said like his mother used to, and his face looking at her like she was a puzzle trying to be solved.

"I know but it's warmer here. Ben..."

"Yes?"

"I won't break. Please. Just trust me." She said asking him to follow her to her vanity.

She sat down and took out her hair dryer, comb, and hair brush. He took a stool, and sat behind her.

They were silent. She was waiting for her heating pad to heat up as well.

"Is it always this bad?" Ben asked, combing her hair with just enough pressure. Not too light. Not too hard.

"Yes. They say it's because I'm underweight. I haven't been normal weight in a long time. I've been in and out of it. Some months are worse than others."

"Where would you categorize this?" He said over the hum of the hair dryer. He was shaking her hair and he was moving about.

"Worse." She closed her eyes. Focused on Ben's hands. She opened and looked at him in the mirror.

He was focused on each tendril of hair. Sectioning it off and letting the heat do its work, slightly tugging with even pressure.

It was comforting.

"How about you Ben? Did your mom also teach you how to do this?"

"Yes. I've mostly kept it short when I was younger. My mom thought the stray hairs would bother me too much. When I was in college, Hux grew out his, and I did too. I didn’t mind it. She gave us a crash course. The waves don't tame themselves."

He kept a rhythm. Brush. Brush. Humm. Off. Brush. Brush. Humm. Off. Shake. Humm. Humm. Shake. Humm. Humm.

Her eyes were starting to droop. This was calming. The heating pad on her stomach helped her keep warm. She managed to vomit out everything, and no longer had the need to puke.

They were silent. The rhythm continued and then silence. Two clunks on the vanity.

Rey felt Ben's squeeze her shoulder.

She looked up, and she nodded.

He hoisted her up, and when he leaned down to start his goodbye ritual, she held his wrist.

"Please. Stay." She said looking up at him, her eyes fighting to stay awake.

Her sleeping pill was taking effect.

"Rey. You won't regret this in the morning?"

"I don't think so. I even bought you pajamas. They were in the bags you brought." She put her arm over her eyes. Then turned on the lamp, and turned off the main lights.

"I... I'm afraid Rey. I might hurt you. Or trigger something."

"Ben. I think I might break more, if you leave me now." She put down her arms to look at him. Her eyes still fighting. She clutched the heating pad to her stomach, and she moved to a fetal position.

"Please." She squeezed his hand.

"Okay. I love you Rey."

"I love you too Ben."

He retrieved the bags from the living area. He found two pairs of pajamas for him, and a cotton button down shirt and pants. The sizes looked right.

He put the button down and the pants in the wash. He'll ask Rey for an iron tomorrow so he can wear it to work.

He tried the pajamas on. It wasn't itchy. It didn't smell like it came from a warehouse. It felt clean enough.

He was staying. This was a first.

He didn't even go on sleepovers. Hux was his roommate but he didn't know what it was like to sleep with someone on the same bed.

If Rey was nervous, he was too.

He stopped debating and trusted Rey's words.

He found a spare toothbrush and brushed his teeth, washed his face, and drank his medicine (which he brought for emergencies).

He made his way to the bedroom, and sat on the other side of the bed.

"Thank you Ben." She mumbled sleepily. Reaching out to face him. Her heating pad left behind her.

He pushed the blanket and was thankful it was thick and heavy.

_Breathe Ben._ _It was like being on the couch. Except they were both going to be be asleep._

_They were going to be side by side._

He could hear his heart beating in his ear.

He slid in, and squeezed Rey's hand. She nodded. Her eyes still closed.

"I'm so cold." She inched towards him.

He moved her into his embrace.

She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder, and stretched out beside him. Ben moved closer to her, and put his arm underneath her head and the other around her shoulders.

"You're so warm Ben." She started rubbing her body into his, and Ben had the presence of mind to reach for the heating pad and put it between them.

It was still warm.

She was now asleep.

_This will be a long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love chicken wings? Okay. Maybe a lot.
> 
> I also love chocolate lava cake, but perhaps pie would be good. I don't really like pie unless it's from this very specific place in Makati.
> 
> Thank you for reaching the end of the chapter. :>


	12. Chapter 12 - Pizzicato is derived from Italian which means to "pinch" or "nip" and is a directive to a bowed string instrument performer that the indicated notes are to be plucked with the fingers rather than bowed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben stayed over? Work. Music. Therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who are still reading this work.
> 
> I'm glad for all the support and the hits that I'm getting. I also thank you for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks. Thank you for believing in my fic. :)
> 
> I am getting overwhelmed, and it was a busy time at work. Therapy is still cutting me open, and my brain and body have not fully recovered. Insomnia is getting worse, but I'm visiting my psychiatrist this midweek and on Saturday.
> 
> I apologize for the delay in the update.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Chapter 12

Rey felt awareness as she felt the pain. She inhaled deeply to soothe herself, and she smelled something else in her bed.

Neutral scented laundry detergent, something herb-y, something sweet, the sun's rays, and Ben.

_Ben._

She opened her eyes.

He was asleep. His back was against her nose, and she shot up to a seating position.

Her stomach shocked her with pain.

Then, warm wetness came between her legs.

_Shit._

She threw the blanket off of her, and rushed to the toilet.

Her pajamas were soiled.

She had to change. She had extra pants in her toilet cabinet, but not trousers.

She had to go out there in her pants.

_He's seen my legs before._

_He's asleep everything will be fine._

She opened the bathroom door slowly, and tiptoed out.

He switched positions, reaching for the spot she left sleepily.

She opened her drawers gingerly, but it creaked loudly like it always did.

Ben stirred, and his eyes blinked open.

He looked to her, with her trousers in hand.

_Shit._

He gave her a small smile and asked, "What time is it?"

_Okay. Too sleepy to be shocked._

"It's just 3 o clock. Please go back to sleep."

"Mmm-kay. Go back to bed Rey. I missed you. I always miss you." He smiled again and snuggled into the blanket, closing his eyes and drifted back.

She put on the trousers, went back to bed, and plugged in her warm compress beside her.

She brought out a book, and started reading. She will ride the pain…and watch Ben.

She was halfway into the chapter she was reading, when she first snuck a peek.

His lashes were so long, and they curled at the ends. His hair was everywhere, the curls having a mind of their own. It was so black, even when the warm light of her lamp was shining on him. His lips were slightly open, pink and full. He had some freckles on his forehead.

 _I want to trace them if you would let me._ She remembered him saying that during their picnic.

She wants to trace all of his too. It was a joy to stare at him like this, since awake, she barely had a chance. She was either driving or they were sitting beside each other.

The freckles went down to his temple, then to his neck, and when he shifted a bit, she saw that his collarbone had a mole.

It was small, just a little bigger than some of his freckles, barely there, and she couldn't believe she never noticed.

He always wore collared shirts and long sleeves.

_To hide his scars._

Ben was vulnerable too, and she had to be careful with him as she was with her.

_I want him._

She leaned to caress his hair but she stopped herself. Will he get hurt if she touched her lightly while asleep?

She decided against it. Having Ben in pain was worst than being in pain herself.

She shifted, and put down her book on the table beside her. With the warmth of the heating pad easing her pain, she burrowed herself into the comfort of the blanket once more. She turned to observe him once again, and she wanted to lean in and kiss him.

_If only I could do it... I should ask once he's awake._

She tried to sync her breathing with his own, her heart beating loudly.

_It's Ben. I'm glad it's Ben. No nightmares. Thank the heavens that there were no nightmares._

She calmed down, and he reached out to her. She let herself be taken, and she once again buried her face in his chest.

Listening to the steady rhythm of his sleeping heart, she felt him stir. He caressed her hair, and said quietly.

"I love you Rey." A whisper. Unsure if this was done in awareness or in sleep.

She tried to fall asleep again,while she enveloped her arms around his.

_If only I could have him now, I would._

\----

Ben woke up with a weight around his waist, and a new smell enveloping him.

Lavender, lemon, laundry detergent, and Rey.

_Rey._

He was in her flat. He stayed over.

His breath will smell horrendous. His hair will be everywhere. A tightness around his crotch greeted him.

_Ugh. No._

He was a bit annoyed that he won't be able to do his normal routine and he couldn't possibly jerk off at Rey's flat...

He leaned down to check if she was awake.

She wasn't. She was holding on to his waist, her head resting on his chest.

_How do I stand up without waking her?_

He glanced at the clock: ****7:00am.****

Still early.

He moved to ease her arms off of him, but when he reached out, she woke.

She looked up and smiled.

"I sleep better with you here Ben." She squeezed his waist, and moved to sit up, but her hand bumped against his raging erection.

"Rey... I'm... Sorry. It's just hormones in the morning. I can explain-" His face changed to the color of a tomato, and he moved to stand up.

"There's nothing wrong with the male anatomy." She said mirroring his response to her period last night.

"Yes. You're correct." He said plainly. Relief flooding him that Rey understood.

She made her way to Ben’s ear and her whisper waked up his senses,"I'll tell you a secret Ben." She said while giving weight to his left shoulder.

"I get quite easily aroused when I have my period, and I want to touch you if you would let me." When she finished, she looked into his eyes with desire.

"May I touch you while you touch me?" Ben asked. He was desperate to know her more intimately.

"Yes Ben. I think... If you do this for me Ben, it might help me with the pain for the whole day." She said, and she wrapped her arms around his more purposefully.

He tilted his head to the side in confusion, and he searched her face for clues.

"In case you're struggling Ben, I'm seducing you right now. I woke up in the early morning, and I've wanted to kiss you. Please. Let me have my way with you." She sat on her knees, rubbing his thigh with deep pressure up and down.

"I want to as well but my breath Rey… I need to brush my tee-" Ben said moving to cover mouth.

She stopped his hand, and led it to her breast, and kissed him.

Her taste was inconsequential, for him she would always taste like his desire for her.

She broke the kiss and moved to straddle his leg. She reached for his crotch, and asked for permission.

One look from her, and he nodded.

_She will be my demise._

She gently pushed down his pajamas and boxers, and took out his cock.

She observed its appearance and its texture. It was a fascinating thing, jerking when he hitched his breath.

"Rey... You don't have to do this." He said his voice quivering with desire and fear.

"I want to Ben. I want you." She kissed him again deeply, and started a rhythm on his cock.

It was awkward at first but the mere idea that Rey was doing it for him made him near his completion.

She stopped to gather a bit of precum and spread it out along his shaft.

"Is there a rhythm you like Ben?" Her voice getting hoarse from desire.

"May I guide you?" She nodded.

She put her hand around his erection, and he put his hand around hers. They started a rhythm together.

She tried to match the rhythm with her grinding against his thigh, and it made him feel even harder.

She started moaning, and he leaned down to kiss her. He supported her waist with his free hand, and once she had her momentum, moved to caress her breasts.

He was fascinated to find her bra-less once again. He could feel her very hardened nipples, and massaged her breasts.

She moaned against his mouth, and she went up for air. She caressed his hair, and pulled it the way she remembered he liked it.

His curls went everywhere, like a lion waiting to pounce…

But she was the hunter with a purpose.

She kissed him deeper while continuing the rhythm for him, and she felt herself nearing completion.

The feeling of her around him had no equal. Her hand was softer than his own, and the feeling of warmth between her legs on his leg was enough to make him feel the current all over his body.

A shame he wouldn't be able to feel her wetness...

"Oh Ben. You feel so good. Am I doing okay?" She was leaning on his shoulder for additional support.

"Yes. Rey... I think…I'm near." He said his hand holding on to her waist, while the other tried to find her clitoris. 

"Ben... I'm..." She closed her eyes and moaned. He felt a surge of warmth on his thigh, and she tried to continue pumping him.

He soon followed covering her hand with his cum.

"It's so warm Ben."

"So are you."

He kissed her deeply once again, and he felt her squeeze her legs around his thigh.

She leaned back and kissed his nose, his jaw, and his neck.

"Ben. I wonder when I can have you inside me." She whispered to his collarbone.

"When you're ready. I'll be patient." He said still reveling in their orgasm. He wanted her too. Desperately. But she was a gift to his existence. He will wait for the right moment.

"I don't think I've wanted sex this bad before I met you. It was just something everyone else was very interested in, but now that you're here, it's mostly what I think about." She leaned forward and closed her forehead with his.

"Thank you for being open with me. I want you too, but we shouldn't rush. Don't worry about me. I was commended for my tenacity when I was growing up. I want to savor you Rey. I want to remember all our first times." His breath tickling her lips as he spoke.

"I want to engulf you Ben. I am not as patient as you." She kissed him lightly on the lips then squeezed his penis in farewell, and moved to get up to wash her hands.

"I'll just wash up, and you can shower. I'll have your clothes pressed when you're done." She smiled, and afterward went to go the laundry area.

_Rey can have whatever she desired._

He smiled at the thought, and undressed.

He might make this a new habit if Rey would let him...

\---

She hung his clothes from yesterday and the clothes that she bought him on the door knob.

She tried to get breakfast going, determined to not let Ben go to work hungry.

_When did I become so domestic? I guess I do this because I love him._

She poached some eggs, fried bacon, and toasted some wheat bread.

She sliced up some oranges for Ben and got a banana for herself.

She had some greens to make a side salad, and served it with the bacon and eggs.

When she finished setting the table, Ben came out smiling at her.

"Thank you for the clothes. They fit perfectly." He kissed her chastely on the lips then on the neck. _Gently._ _Slowly._

"I'm glad you're okay with them. I was worried." She moved to hug him and revel in his scent. They smelled of the same detergent and shampoo, but he still smelled like Ben.

"Thank you too for helping me this morning." He said while she was in his embrace, he was massaging her shoulder blades with figure eights again.

"I wanted you too. I still want you...but you're going to have to go to UNO today." She burrowed into his scent more. Battery for the day to come.

"Yes. There are some matters I must attend to, although Luke and Chewie might be okay...but Snoke..."

"Yes. Efficiency is key. I can't hinder you." She smiled and looked up at him, their arms still around each other.

He didn't want to let go...

But work awaited.

\---

He had to stay home that evening because he had a video conference call with AKR.

She knew they won't see each other. He knew he wouldn't be able to but he still left her.

He wasn't able to see her the next day and the next.

She promised to ask Belle to stay over.

She said that they'll have a good evening together.

He was working more so he can keep his Saturdays and Sundays free for Rey.

Ben called frequently. He heard Belle chuckling in the background when she said she loved him.

Belle took the two days off, and he owed it to her. Rey isn't property. She deserves the world. She brings light to everyone around her. Belle shined more when she was around Rey. He wondered if he did too.

_I wish I could have her but I already did. If only...but she wasn't ready. I love her, and I will be patient. I love her and she is worth waiting for._

This was becoming his new mantra.

Ben focused on his designs. He was working on a school that melds the outside and the inside. Education was changing, and this was his advocacy. A private institution was opening their doors to those who were less fortunate, and he loved this kind of work.

A school were children who had the traits similar to what he had would be free to explore: Safely. Joyfully. Excitedly.

Tactile areas. Places to hide to recuperate. Numerous entries to not concentrate on crowds. Seeing the grass outside the window.

Grass…

_Rey._

The way her hair blew in the wind during their picnic. The way she looked at him and Micah.

Longing. Love. Warmth.

Fabrics that can envelope you in warmth.

Carpets that can apply pressure to your feet.

When they have children, he hopes none will be like him.

But he imagined that Rey would love them as she loved him.

Wholeheartedly. Unapologetic.

He sees the children go up and down the stairs. The classrooms.

He will avoid designing glass enclosures. His pen glides across the paper while thinking of their children.

Gardening. Mud. A place to become dirty. A place to become clean.

Her hands around his, squeezing gently. The laughter she envelopes him with. Her tears.

Comfort.

A place to rest. To have quiet. A place where children can be alone with themselves or be true with someone else.

He smiled.

The plans are complete. He sends them off to the client, and waits for feedback. His mother would love this place.

He hoped Rey would love it too.

\---

_Ben would be with me at Dr. Kanata's office tomorrow._

She thought to herself, while listening to Belle’s steady breath beside her. She was thankful for her dear friend.

\---

With work done, he finally gets to play his piano. He’s been busy with Rey and the office, and he wasn’t able to give it a go.

He chooses to play Ravel's Mirror.

The lilting notes. The promise of adventure. Excitement. The notes bouncing off the room.

It reminds him of her presence. Like waves. Sometimes turbulent. Most times calm. Or the calm before the storm.

Rey _is_ adventurous. He couldn't deny it, and while he played his mind drifted to the "educational books" Hux had UPS send him overnight when he first found out of Rey’s presence.

He had read them all in one evening, and he decided that it was _preparation_.

For Rey. For her to have the same pleasure he feels.

When she touches him, his body responds like it has never responded to anyone else. Her touch is electrifying. Life giving. The synapses firing. The current travels from the point of contact all to his brain signaling pleasure. It travels then to his heart. Pumping. Reminding him: _T_ _his is what it is to be alive_.

Anticipation. Excitement. Friendship.

Love.

Rey is not one piece of music. She contains different works. A conglomeration of symphonies.

The way her hair cascaded behind her when her bun loosens. The way she walks in a rhythm not much different from his own. The way she caresses him, her hands callused at the tips from playing violin.

_I long to know each and every part of her body._

He shifts, and finished the piece.

He decided to play the Nocturne he heard when he was in the UNO office for the first time.

Love.

Hope.

He hoped to be with Rey.

He is the only thing he has wanted as desperately as this. He longed for her friendship. He wanted to choose her every day over and over again. Tomorrow. Or later…

****1:00am** **

\---

It was cold.

8am.

She was too early. She sat in the quiet halls, waiting for Dr. Kanata to arrive.

She slept but woke up too early despite the medication. Her last good night's sleep was when Ben had been beside her.

The medication brought nightmares.

Belle had to splash her with some water to stop her thrashing on the bed.

Tears had stained her face, and she felt...

_Arousal. Fear. Disgust._

She was disgusted with herself. Her brain had been creating new horrors for her the past few evenings. Horrors she didn’t want to relive again.

Belle took leave from UNO and from school. She assured Rey that she's ahead of her classes, and Architect Solo didn't mind.

Belle asked if she needed someone with her to go the hospital but she declined since Ben would be arriving later on.

_Ben._

She missed him.

She put in her ear-buds, and listened to Mendelssohn's On Wings of Song.

She tried to still her thoughts for the coming session.

The melody was Ben embodied.

His warmth. His protection. His voice that would envelope her, and make her feel everything all at once and each and everything again and again.

She could listen to him read instruction manuals, and it would still sound like music.

His voice when he called her name, when he laughed, when he reached for her hand, when he was telling her what he liked, what he thought about her opinions...

She played along to the tune in her head.

She smiled to herself.

Dr Kanata patted her on the shoulder.

She startled, and was led inside.

\---

Rey told Dr Kanata about her mood swings, her increased sensitivity, and her more painful than usual period last time.

She taught her the body scan, which is focusing on each area of the body in the moment. 

They focused on the foot, to her leg, to her thigh, to her bum, then her lower back.

She had trouble focusing on her lower back, the memories kept flooding in, and she found herself crying. She couldn’t stop, and she was given a glass of water. She drank, and they continued. Her other leg. Her stomach. A tinkling sound outside. Voices. _Come back._ She tried again. Her stomach. The way it expanded and contracted when she breathed in and out. Her chest. It rose and fell, a bit of tension going outwards. Her shoulders. Her neck. Her ears. _Ben. Kissing her temple._ Her head. Tingling. Her hair, the tips touching her nape. _The wind. Hands that weren’t his._ Tears. Her eyes. Her throat constricting and becoming painful. Her tears. Falling silently. Slowly. Her nose. Slowly filling with mucus. _Humans cry with their body._

“Slowly come back to awareness at the sound of the bell.” 3 rings.

Dr Kanata asked about the experience, and handed her a tissue box.

"It was so scary. Facing it all at once."

"But were you able to rein back your focus?"

"I wrestled with it but yes."

"Okay. Just focus on the present. It helps my dear."

"Yes. My over-thinking gets in the way though."

"We also need to accept the thoughts. We must learn to let the thoughts pass and not ride inside them."

“Yes. We must let the train pass and not choose to go inside.”

Dr Kanata asked Rey to practice this at home, and report to her next Saturday.

She gave Rey’s hand a squeeze, opening the door. Ben was outside, and stood up to greet her. She ran towards him almost leaped into his arms. She wrapper her arms around Ben’s tall shoulders, and tiptoed to kiss his jaw and neck.

“Would you like me to swing you around like Finn?” He asked quietly into her ear.

She shook her head, and focused on his smell. She could still feel the effects of her memories.

He drew the figure eights and counted 4 breaths, 6 breaths, and 8 breaths with her. He could feel her relax in his arms.

He looked up to see Dr Kanata smiling at them.

He gave the doctor a small smile.

Rey looked up and kissed him lightly on the lips.

She smiled widely and said, “Your turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit hesitant to write about period sex, but hey, there wasn't penetration. There were no blood spilled. It's true, and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that when I have my period, I am more sensitive to pain and pleasure. They are truly aligned.
> 
> Ravel's Mirror: https://youtu.be/RCmbEIewKYo  
> Chopin's Noctune: https://youtu.be/YGRO05WcNDk  
> Mendelssohn's On Wing of Song: https://youtu.be/WLewXVwnBuE  
> MBCT Body Scan: We focus on each part of the body to train awareness, and to learn how to anchor ourselves into the present. It's interesting but silence can be enlightening. It sometimes brings us the worst thoughts in us. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you all will read to the end. :>


	13. Chapter 13: A fermata is a symbol of musical notation indicating that the note should be prolonged beyond the normal duration its note value would indicate.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another hold in the fold. Rey starts being more honest with how she feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fermata (Italian: [ferˈmaːta]; "from fermare, to stay, or stop";[2] also known as a hold, pause, colloquially a birdseye or cyclops eye, or as a grand pause when placed on a note or a rest) is a symbol of musical notation indicating that the note should be prolonged beyond the normal duration its note value would indicate.[3] Exactly how much longer it is held is up to the discretion of the performer or conductor, but twice as long is common. It is usually printed above but can be occasionally below (when it is upside down) the note to be extended.
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long for anyone who's waiting. I have suffered so much this past month because of my psychotherapy + SARS COVID 19 + personal problems + family problems + work problems. I haven't been ecstatic to start writing again. This chapter... I've tried to re-write but I decided to let it go. I think I need to be honest with myself too, and let's see. I might up the chapter count if I need to, but I'll see if i can finish it in 20.
> 
> Thank you for everyone who is still reading. I feel glad and grateful that people glance at my work. I really hope you all see this to the end. (Even I hope I would see this to the end! haha!)

Chapter 13

Truth be told, Ben wasn't a fan of going to the psychiatrist. Who was? But maybe it's the thought of a new psychiatrist that is driving him with a sense of dread.

 _Irrational_. Dr. Kanata is kind. He saw that as well but he didn't like change.

_But I'll survive. Like always._

She already had his file. She'll ask questions to develop the truth between them but he wasn't fond of remembering.

He only knew how to go through it but he didn't have to like it. He can forget. Tried to forget.

His heart was thumping in his chest.

_This is for me. This is for Rey. This is for both of us and our future together._

He didn't expect to become perfect. Illness was illness. Disorders are disorders. Even though the disorder didn't make sense to him.

What makes him so different? He was just as depressed as all those who had broken families. He was blessed enough to have a family that took him to a hospital and let him live.

And love.

His mom. In his own way, he loved his dad too. Even though the words said were echoing in his brain.

The shouting. It was echoing.

Change. Breathing has changed.

He stopped.

He could feel himself descending into numbness.

The hallways of this hospital are 10 feet wide and 3 feet wide for the chairs.

The tiles are 1 foot by 1 foot. No baseboard. Clean as a whistle.

Smelled like soap and disinfectant.

It felt cold. Feeling. He felt the softness of his zipped hoodie comforting.

The standard temperature for American households is 78° Fahrenheit.

For hospitals, it is 73° Fahrenheit.

Breathe in 4. Breathe out 6. Breathe in 8. Breathe out 8. Breathe in 4. Breathe out 6. Breathe in 8. Breathe out 8.

The door opened.

Rey came out. She looked tired. She smiled small. She rushed towards him, and he opened his arms. She enveloped him around her.

"Would you like me to swing you around like Finn?"

She chuckled and smiled. She nuzzled her face into his neck, and he heard her take a deep breath.

He tried to calm her down using his mom's technique, and he felt her shoulders relax.

She kissed him chastely on the lips, and he smiled.

"Your turn." She smiled a bit more ruefully.

He breathed her in deeply and followed the doctor into her office.

\---

Rey brought out her notebook. She needed to remember to take notes _during_ her sessions. It's been difficult doing all these things again. Secrets that weren't safe.

She wondered if this was what constituted as feeling safe. Loving and being loved by someone like Ben.

She dragged her hands over the paper finding comfort in the grooves her handwriting left in it. She read over the other weeks notes.

It was so few. She _has_ been running from her feelings. She _has_ been running from being too emotionally invested in Ben.

She's forgetting everything she's worked on, and she needed to be more up front with what she wanted if she were to move forward.

She has decided and Ben will have to be told _today_.

\---

"So Ben. How do you feel today?"

"I'm nervous."

"That's normal. I'm someone new, and this is our first time to talk about these things."

"Yes."

He wanted to ask her if they _needed_ to talk about the past.

She flipped through his file quietly, and she started asking questions.

"What would you like to talk about today?"

"Mostly, I'm anxious about Rey. I want to be able to help her, and I want to not let my past define how I'm going to move forward with her."

"I see. Have you been speaking to your dad lately?"

"I've been avoiding to... Ever since I came here, I haven't called back."

"And your mom?"

"Yes we've spoken."

"Your friends?"

"Hux. Yes."

She proceeded to ask how much he's told others about Rey's and his condition. She was glad to know that he told his mom everything.

"What are your goals for your stay here in the Philippines?"

"Generally? To just stay alive and not get anxious."

"Okay. And for work?"

"To balance my time between the companies. To smoothen the transition to meeting the two companies we have. To find a new partner to train so Architect Williams and Engineer Luke can retire well."

"For family?"

"I think I just want some peace. It's a sensitive topic for me. I don't really understand why my parents needed a divorce now, but I'm glad they're trying to be happy. I don't know what they're up to and it makes me fear for the future."

"I see, and your life in the US?"

"What about it?"

"What do you plan to do once you're done with your work goals?"

"I've been thinking about staying here for a while. I'm not sure what Rey would want, but I want to discuss it with her. Truthfully, I don't want to part with her."

"I see. Do you love Rey?"

"I believe yes."

"What do you think love means?"

"To choose each other everyday, to care about her, to not let her get hurt, to want her, to be patient, to be kind, to desire what's best for her."

"Did you have that with your parents?"

"My mom loved me with ferocity. My dad... He tries."

"I see. I think that's all we'll do for today."

He was shocked. It was too short.

"I'm sure you're wondering why it's too short, I try not to exhaust my patients. I'm sure you're afraid since I'm new. Although I've know Rey since Dahlia died, she's just gotten back to therapy and I'm sure you both will grow more after."

"Thank you." Ben released a breath. He felt the knots in his shoulders unravel a little.

"I'll call Rey. Please stay here Ben. Thank you for sharing with me. Your assignment is to try and call your dad."

Ben swallowed nervously. He's been avoiding that, and the doctor knew.

Ben was still in his thoughts on what to say to his dad when Rey came in.

She was radiant. She looked a bit like flickering candlelight but her warmth was enough.

She was clasping a notebook in hand. A different colored one from the one she uses at work.

_Therapy notes_. Ben thought.

Ben moved a bit so Rey could sit.

Her left hand made its way to his right hand, and she squeezed tightly.

"So. Rey and Ben. First, you both have to remember I'm a doctor and a psychiatrist. This is a judgment free place. I will only stop you if you're hurting yourself or society.

“Now that's clear. Ben, you expressed your willingness to help Rey correct?"

"Yes."

"Rey, you've started the progress correct?"

"Yes."

"Rey, can you tell me about what you've done so far?"

Ben felt the warmth course through Rey's hand towards her face. She was clammy, but her pulse was beating rapidly in his.

She began discussing everything that's happened so far, and she closed her eyes while doing so.

_Was she embarrassed? I mean it's nothing to be ashamed of. We both love each other, and we do these things because we love each other._

"Ben, Rey has a question for you."

"Yes?" Ben startled into present awareness.

"Ben, do you still feel pain, if I happen to caress you during sleep?"

"I never really know. Do you feel it when someone touches you while you're asleep?"

"A little. But I guess when I'm in deep sleep I wouldn't know."

"I see. Well you can try and let's talk about it afterwards."

Rey smiled. Her expression felt relaxed. Ben wondered why this was so important to her.

Rey's face fell, and she looked to the doctor for assurance. She smiled and nodded.

"Ben, there's something else."

"Okay." Ben said.

"I want to have...sex with you." She looked at his eyes then her eyes fell.

He nodded, and it was his turn to look at the doctor for assurance. The doctor nodded, and waited for them.

"I do too but I can wait if you want me to."

"I-don't-think-i-can-wait-anymore." She said in a rushed tone with her eyes closed and with both her hands squeezing his.

"I see. How do we approach this so I won't hurt you?" Ben looked to Dr. Kanata, and the doctor broke her silence.

"Rey and I have been discussing ways you can lead up to it. You both have the choice. You can plan it, or plan for it organically. You can take steps or go with the flow. It's up to you and Rey on how best to meet both of your needs."

Ben's mind rushed through ideas but he remembered something important.

"When do you want to do it?"

"Honestly, I wanted it since we started dating but I'll try. I can't rush myself. I need to be patient, and I know we can do it together. We can plan for it, so I'll know what to expect. Organically, I can't trust myself. I know I'll want it before I can do it safely."

"So when exactly...?" He said, noticing she avoided answering.

"Christmas. Or at least, before the year ends." She said looking into his eyes and releasing a deep breath

His eyes widened. That was less than two months from now. He looked to Dr. Kanata for help but she merely smiled and answered his unspoken question.

"Truthfully, it's up to Rey to decide. It's her decision that will directly affect her actions. You should trust her to know her limits and to know what she'll be able to go through. All we can do is prepare and offer support." Dr. Kanata said, her smile expressing wisdom that felt like this martial arts masters he used to watch as a kid.

"You can make it special. You can plan for it together. Give each other surprises and clear it with me. Rey, you need to be mindful of how you're feeling. You need to continue being in touch with yourself. There's no perfect way. No perfect meditation like there is no perfect "first time"-s. You both need to remember that what you have is enough. You both told me you love each other. Besides, relationships are not only about sex correct? There's so much more to it. You're not having sex 24/7, and the world doesn't revolve around it. Forming bonds, making memories, shared experiences, thoughts, and ideas you share with each other are part of the equation as well. You both, as you are, are enough." The doctor said smiling softly.

They both nodded slowly. Ben felt Rey trembling beside him.

Dr. Kanata gave her a box of tissues, and she dabbed silently at her tears. He knew Rey struggled with this greatly, and he did so too. Together they needed to remind each other that trust in each other is what they have.

Ben let go of her hand, and wrapped his arms around her. She cried more. Crumpling to his chest.

She whispered. "I'll try to remember."

Dr. Kanata heard her, and she replied serenely, "you'll both remind each other."

They waited for Rey to calm down, and Dr. Kanata gave them more suggestions on how to proceed.

Weekly, they will have some milestones to understand how Rey is progressing objectively. Her issue with touch on the lower half of her body and the way she responds to arousal being the core topics they needed to be aware of.

Arousal shouldn't be founded in shame, and they needed to remember that.

They also got "the talk" about birth control, sexual health, and lubricant to help them plan better.

Ben was committing these to memory, and Rey was scribbling furiously in her notebook.

Ben had some ideas in his head for what to do, and how to help keep Rey safe.

Rey decided on using an IUD after their first time, and they both agreed on getting tested for both of their peace of mind.

Ben had never and Rey had never but just for surety.

They also agreed to get hormone testing the next month, so it could shed some light to their mood levels.

Dr. Kanata encouraged them and thanked them for their honesty. She wished them well, and ushered them out.

Ben paid for his month of therapy, and Rey did so as well.

Ben squeezed her hand, and gave her a good hug.

"Thank you for this Rey. I'll do my best to be patient with myself and you. You're feeling a lot, and I've never had someone to rely on. I'm putting my body in your hands." Ben said plainly. Stroking her back while she burrowed into his shirt.

\---

_I won't cry again. I just cried inside._

Rey tried to make her way inside Ben's jumper. They were both cold, and this hospital was freezing. His jumper had his comforting smell, and it was soft and warm from his body heat.

Rey couldn't look Ben in the eye.

She couldn't believe she just said it so bluntly and in a doctor's office. It highlighted her brokenness.

"Rey. You're you okay. I love you for you. Just as you are. If we compare ourselves to everyone else, we'll never be happy." Ben said voicing her concern. He must have felt the same way.

Rey knew that Ben grew up differently. Perhaps that has helped him come to terms with things easily.

Rey let go, and Ben gave her one last squeeze before moving his hand to hers.

"So, where do you want to eat? It's my treat." Ben gave her his special small smile. The one where she knew that they had a secret together.

Rey really wanted him. Sexually. It was clear but she wanted his whole being. She wanted his mind, his body, and to be enveloped in his warmth.

She felt her body heating. Was this perverse? Having a desire for her bo-yfri-end. Even sounding the word in her brain felt foreign.

"Rey? Where are we going?" Ben asked her while she dragged him towards the direction of his unit.

"Let's eat at your place, I'll order something then we can go out. May I stay there tonight?" She said riding on the courage she gained from their morning session.

Ben smiled and nodded.

"I missed you Ben." She said softly. Her shyness still present from earlier.

"I missed you too Rey." Ben said while squeezing her hand.

They walked together quietly feeling the dawn of something new.

\---

Rey was still a bit distracted, Ben observed.

After ordering their lunch ahead, she was quiet, and her hands were still cold despite the moderate weather they were expecting.

When they reached the UNO building and made their way up to his unit, she spoke up.

"Ben, I-" she closed her mouth again.

The elevator dinged, and Chewie came into view.

"Ben! Rey! Did you have a lovely day out? It is quite cool." Chewie said, his hair still dripping wet, and his belongings smelling faintly of chlorine.

"Yes. It is lovely outside." Rey said.

"I just finished going for a swim, and Malla and I will be going to mass this evening before dinner, would you care to join us?" Chewie asked light-heartedly.

Rey opened her mouth but Ben interrupted, "Rey and I are going to watch some movies. I missed her these past few days, and we'd like to stay in."

Rey released her tense breath. She wasn't Catholic nor any religion for that matter, and she never thought to ask Ben.

Chewie nodded and chuckled, "Ah. Young love."

Ben saw that Rey started to gain a bit of color in her cheeks, then Chewie asked, "you'll be back at the office on Monday correct?"

"Yes, Architect." She said solemnly.

"I'm delighted you feel better. Don't forget to tell us if you need some time off. You're one of our best resources." Chewie smiled brightly, and the elevator dinged for Ben's floor.

They got off and waved at Chewie.

Rey held Ben's hand tightly, and Ben said, "We'll talk more inside. You don't have to force yourself. You told me this too." He kissed her lightly on the nose, and opened the door.

They went in, and Ben told Rey to get comfortable.

Ben brewed some chamomile tea for Rey, and got some lemon juice for himself.

She sat at the counter, while waiting for Ben's tea to cool down. He also brought out some saltines for her to snack on as they waited.

Ben sat across her and looked into her eyes intently. He's gotten used to her eyes, and it no longer felt piercing as they first met. She wasn't focused on him and she kept looking down to her tea.

"What is it Rey?"

"You don't think it's perverted?" She whispered to her cup.

"What is?"

"Me? Being hungry for se-x." When she said the word, it sounded like two syllables.

"I don't think you're hungry for it. How can you be hungry for sex?"

"Perhaps because I could feel it in my belly when I want you. I've dreamed about you when we first met Ben, and that night when I was here, I wanted you already." She rubbed her palms to her eyes.

"I wanted you too." The blush creeping up again. He could be vocal about human processes things like having sex, masturbating but the idea of emotions… of desiring her... It felt too much.

She looked up.

"I wanted you too Rey. When you first shook my hand, I wanted to never let go. It feels crazy doesn't it? If you're feeling crazy, I'm deranged." He said softly chuckling to himself. He could feel his ears twitching as he watched for her reaction. They only do it when he's really really nervous.

She smiled and rubbed his ears from across the table, and it felt divine. Her touch can do so much for him. She doesn't know half of it.

"Thank you for telling me. That does make me feel a bit better. We're together on this, and we can make it feel special together."

"They say it would hurt the first time for women. Have you tried...masturbating alone?" He said. This was a bit embarrassing. Talking about his own experiences were simple but this...

"I've never actually masturbated till I met you. I've tried though. My college friends really advocated sex positive pornography, and they are really fascinating. I didn't value it then, but when I met you, I think I found something I desired.

"I have yet to insert something _inside_ though. I've only stimulated my clitoris. That's why all I've been doing is humping you." Her face got redder but she continued on.

She looked lovely still. She reached for Ben's hand, and she started drawing circles on his pulse point.

Strangely, he found it hypnotic.

"It's understandable. If you want to try something, feel free to tell me. I've been doing my research too. Or rather, Hux gave me some books." He smiled shyly. It was his turn to look down.

"Really? Can I see them?" Rey said enthusiastically her neck still having that beautiful flush Ben can't same to take his eyes off.

Her hand let go of his pulse point, and he missed the connection.

Ben smiled and went to get the books from the UPS box Hux sent.

_I think it's only right she reads them too. I've already read them cover to cover. I can be studious when I want to be._

He took them out one by one, and her eyes grew wide. She laughed lightly, and he wondered...

"Is it amusing?" Ben asked feeling a bit lost.

"I'm just... I think I'm a bit giddy. I'm happy I told you how I feel. There wasn't anything to be afraid of after all. I think I'm glad you want me as I want you." She smiled her megawatt-rays-of-sunshine smile.

She made her way to him and gave him a solid hug. She tipped her head up, and went on her toes to kiss him.

He didn't know where his boldness came from but he lifted her up to seat her on the counter. He deepened the kiss, caressing the roof of her mouth and reaching for her tongue. She obliged, and he felt ecstatic. Her hands massaged his sides, his shoulders. She pulled on his curls, and he felt a hum of sound come out of him. His hands were loosening her braid from earlier, and he pulled on them as well. She gave out a small moan, and she nibbled at his lower lip. Her hands made way to his wrists, and she caressed his pulse point once more. She started unbuttoning his cuffs and her fingers made their way inside his sleeves.

She traced his scars and electricity coursed through him. No one can touch him like Rey did.

His hands were on her wrists and he started massaging her as well. He could only hope he could give her the same pleasure.

She stopped her attention at his wrists, and made her way to his chest. She felt for his nipples and pinched then lightly.

"Rey..." Ben murmered to her lips, and he mirrored her actions. His hands searched for her breasts and he felt that she was wearing thin material. He could feel her aroused nipples and he pinched her softly.

"Ahhhh" She opened her mouth, and broke off the kiss.

They stared into each other's eyes intently, and he saw her lean in when the doorbell rang.

She groaned and gave him a light kiss instead.

Ben laughed. He was thankful he was only half hard under his pants.

"Thank you Rey for the experience." He said. He gave her another light kiss on her lips and her hands before leaving for the door.

He felt a bit lightheaded, and he only had half his wits when he paid and tipped the rider.

"Let me be your rider anytime. I'm Jacob by the way." The rider reached out to shake his hand, and he did so instinctively.

The smell of Korean friend chicken and sesame oil filled the air.

Rey was gone, and he noticed she put the books back in the box on the coffee table.

Ben set up the dishes, when Rey came out drying her face with a towel.

Ben smiled and she returned it.

She sat at the stools at the counter where he set up and drank from her now lukewarm chamomile tea.

She smiled softly and dug in quietly.

"Thank you Ben for the experience as well." Rey said sheepishly

"We can continue later, if you feel up to it." He said while gazing into her pink cheeks.

She chuckled and nodded while she enjoyed her soy garlic chicken.

She had ordered tuna and bulgogi kimbap, radish kimchi, bulgogi chapchae, seafood pancakes and some sauteed vegetables besides the 6 piece assorted chicken.

It was spicy just the way he liked it. The crispiness and almost milky texture to the chicken was heavenly.

She watched Rey eat with vigor, and she sucked her digits while it was coated with flavor.

He felt something stir in him, but he ignored it.

Rey watched him eat too, and she fed him tuna kimbap and the pancakes.

There were more to be discussed later after the meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Ben ever call his father with the amount of distraction Rey is giving him?!
> 
> Thanks for reading this update!
> 
> And now... Food notes. (Get it? Food notes. Foot notes. Yeah. I'm a riot.)
> 
> https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/gimbap  
> https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/easy-dakgangjeong aka Bonchon but there are better chicken than Bonchon I assure you! Look for a local Korean kitchen restaurant. They're heaps more delicious!  
> https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/haemuljeon  
> https://mykoreankitchen.com/korean-glass-noodle-stir-fry-japchae/
> 
> I love the food. I often use food to cope. My mom loves to eat too, and we pride ourselves in our cooking.
> 
> I'm sorry for the very slow burn but yes. We'll get there. We'll be patient with Rey.


	14. Chapter 14 - Overture (from French ouverture, lit. "opening") in music was originally the instrumental introduction to a ballet, opera, or oratorio in the 17th century (Temperley 2001).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acclimatizing Rey to touch starts now. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overture
> 
> It is important to note that most of my definitions come from Wikipedia of some music dictionary. I apologise for not citing sources sooner. :))
> 
> I finally did it. I finally uploaded this. This has been festering in my google drive for weeks now (or is it months???).

Chapter 14

Rey realized something while she was eating.

She couldn't do what she wanted to try with Ben because she was still on her period.

Although the flow would be less today, it's not safe yet.

They finished eating, and Rey cleaned up.

They decided to watch some movies. Ben brought some of his favorite DVDs from home, and Rey was browsing.

She found a complete collection of the Harry Potter movies. She knew what she wanted to watch.

She brought it to Ben, and he smiled with his toothy grin.

"You caught me." Ben said.

"Well... I loved those books too. I  _ am _ British." She sat on the floor to work the DVD open, and settled with the first movie.

"When did you last watch them?" Ben asked.

"Oh years ago. Before college, I used to watch all of them every summer." She said while settling in his side.

The couch was softer than her own, and she remembered her first encounter with this couch. Ben giving her hot chocolate and a warm blanket.

It started to rain outside, and she leaned in closer to Ben. He put his arm around her shoulder, and leaned her head more.

She watched as Ben mouthed the words to the film, and she smiled to herself.

Ben put his knitted Afghan blanket around her when he noticed she was shivering.

"Troll in the dungeon! Trolls in the dungeon! I thought you should know." As Professor Quirell fainted, Rey started falling asleep. She noticed Ben was already asleep.

She was at peace, and let it be.

\---

"Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!” Ben heard Hermione say.

They reached the end. Ben looked to Rey. She looked tired.

She's going back to work on Monday.

Ben looked in the fridge, and he found some vegetables and meat. They could order in, or he can cook.

He wanted to be with Rey a bit more, so he decided to just order in.

He decided on some Mediterranean food. He felt like eating falafels, moussaka, lamb, labneh and pita.

He used an app, and he found Jacob the rider again. He messaged him with an enthusiastic okay, and he'll be arriving in around 30 minutes.

He found Rey, close to falling off the couch and snuggling into his Afghan. He gently eased her onto his shoulder, and he watched as Harry looked in the Mirror of Erised.

"Ben..." Rey stirred.

"Hm?" He looked down and saw Rey waking up.

"I missed half the movie haven't I?"

"I did too." He gave a small smile.

Rey kissed him. Short and sweet.

"Let's save it for later." She said when she went back to snuggling Ben.

Harry's hands burn Voldemort's face, and Harry faints.

"Are you tired?"

Rey nodded. "You?"

"A bit. I missed you in my sleep." He said looking down on her thighs that seemed to be creeping towards him.

"Me too." She smiled widely.

"Do you ever wonder what a ear wax flavored jelly beans would taste like?" Rey said randomly.

"No. I don't even want to think about it." Ben shivered visibly.

"Oh? " She whispered in his ear with a breathy quality.

"Rey. Please don't touch the inside of my ears. Only my ENT can do it, and I have yet to find someone who knows the right pressure."

Rey chuckled, "really?"

"Yes please don't. I can't bear it. I might hurt you when I react violently. I never want to hurt you."

She looked into his eyes, and decided he wasn't joking.

"Okay Ben. I won't. Help me remember okay? But touching the outside is okay?"

"Yes. Thank you Rey." He relaxed his shoulders. Just the idea of something in his ear made him shiver violently again.

"What if I blow in it?"

"It's okay."

"What if I lick the outside?" Rey said quietly

Ben stilled.

"You'll have to try. I won't know yet." He smiled.

"Gryffindor wins the house cup." Dumbledore announced in the movie.

The doorbell rang, and Ben got to the door to get their food.

Rey padded into the kitchen and help him set up.

They sat down to eat, tension thrumming in both of their ears.

They knew that Rey wouldn't be going home tonight. They knew that they both wanted the next step.

Ben was thinking of ways to get closer to Rey without hurting her.

Rey was thinking about what to do with her increasing arousal.

Watching Ben eat with his hands was something else. She knew she relished the food, and this was a different level of appreciation. The labneh stuck to his fingers, and he sucked them slowly one by one and closed his eyes in wonder.

The cream stuck to the side of his lip, and she wondered if he noticed. She took another bite of her falafel concoction, and looked at Ben again.

He was watching her.

_ I guess he's full already. _

She smiled and ate quietly. She was getting full as well.

She stood up to do the dishes while Ben threw away the takeout boxes. He next appeared to wash his hands next to Rey when she was finishing up.

She startled and accidentally sent some soap and water flying into her blouse.

She was soaked.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you." Ben said alarmed. He got out some kitchen towels, and helped her clean up.

"Thanks Ben." She glanced up and saw the cream still there on the side of his mouth.

"Ben, you have something on your mouth." She pointed to her own to help him locate it.

He licked his lips at the the opposite side.

Rey laughed, and he puzzled why.

He gave a soft chuckle, and Rey was inspired.

She kissed the side of his lip and licked the cream off.

It was Ben's turn to be surprised.

"Your stuff is still in the room you slept in last time." Ben said while encircling his arms around her.

Rey leaned into his scent, and nodded.

"We don't have to do anything. We can sleep there instead of my bed if it makes you more at ease." He continued and she nodded.

"Let's wash up, I'll leave you some clothes. Outside the door, and I'll wait here." He let go slowly and kissed her temple slowly.

\---

Ben needed to breathe.

Rey was in his vicinity.

This was not something he relished thinking about too much but he knows in order to move forward they will need to take the necessary steps.

He left the clothes he prepared for Rey at the door, and left for his room.

He did his nightly ablutions distracted with the idea of Rey in the shower two doors away.

Deja vu.

But this was _way_ way worse. Knowing that someone wanted you AND you have to be careful was very frustrating.

He needs to dive headlong into something, and he knew that he had to be patient. It's very straightforward.

It should be.

He massaged the moisturizer to his face. His mom was very particular about this. He had scaly skin as a child, and he was drilled in the ways of skincare.

He made his way out, and found Rey seated on the couch again. He could hear the DVD menu for the The Chamber of Secrets going.

She was on her phone, and her face scrunched up with focus.

"You don't need glasses Rey?" He asked while sitting down with two glasses of water.

"No. I'm just thinking about something...I have to ask." Rey eyed him darkly.

Ben cocked his head. "Yeah?"

"How did you know what size bra and clothes I wear?" Rey wondered.

"Um... I asked Belle for help. Was it intrusive? I just wanted to buy you things like you did for me, and I figured I can't exactly lend you underclothes. Pajamas yes, but underclothes and trousers no. I was going to give them next time, but since the opportunity presented itself..." He said looking at her nervously.

"Oh I see. You didn't have to but thank you. I love you Ben." She smiled satisfied, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Did you like them? Belle suggested them, and I just paid for it. I'm not entirely sure what you would like. I rely on experts most of the time." He continued vomiting words because he felt like he crossed a line but he really wanted to make her happy, and he felt really happy when she bought him clothes.

Rey might have sensed his unease so she climbed on his lap, and gave him a tight hug.

"It's okay. It was just a wonder since to the exact brand and size that I got shocked. I knew Belle would have helped you. I thought that was just how good a guesser you were. I only guessed your size but I was pretty confident. Next time, I'll ask you about it too. Thank you. I really love them."

"Okay."

"I'll be more straightforward like you. It's hard but it's not too uncomfortable. I quite like it." She kissed his neck then his ears and started to move off of him.

He stopped her, and just arranged her so she could still watch the movie. She laughed and played the movie.

\---

"Amazing! This is just like magic."

The movie was ending soon, and they managed to stay awake. Rey soon sat beside Ben, and had settled her legs over his.

Ben's mind was at peace somewhat. He knew what should be done, and tonight, he will be a gentleman. He will not do anything without her consent.

Hopefully, it will not result into rushing anything she's not ready for.

The ending credits theme played, and Rey stopped the DVD and turned it off.

She stood up so quickly that Ben was shocked.

She pulled him to her room then to her bed, and pushed him down.

"Rey what are you doing?" He said as she started unbuttoning the pajamas he gave her.

"Ben. Please take off your clothes too." She said smirking down on him while raising the sleep shirt over her head.

The nude colored cotton bralet was left, and she was taking off her pajama bottoms as well.

"Are you sure about this? Am I allowed to ask why?" Ben said while fumbling with the buttons of his own shirt.

"I want to feel your skin. I think it could help me associate skin to skin contact with you, and Ben you're allowed to touch me anywhere. Just tell me where, and I'll try not to panic."

"Okay." Ben said remembering what they talked about with Dr Kanata. Rey is responsible for her body, and all he could do is respect her decisions as best he could without hurting her.

He struggled to open the second button of his shirt, and he felt like he was 7 years old again with not the best hand eye coordination.

"Ben, are you okay?" He heard her asking, while she settled on the bed beside him.

"I'm just nervous." He looked at her, and she smiled.

"May I help you unbutton your shirt?" Her pupils were dilating, and he could see it so closely.

"Ye-yes please." He said. The words. Not quite coherent words in his mind.

"Thank you Ben for going through with this with me. I'm just. I was waiting for this, and I can't let you touch me without my underwear yet, but we'll get around to it." She was shaking a bit as well when she started unbuttoning but she soon steadied when she reached the last one.

"Rey." He said simply, and kissed her chastely. He took off his shirt and shorts, and was left with his boxers.

He heard Rey gasp, and he didn't dare look at her yet.

He walked to turn on the lamp shades to dim, and to turn off the overhead lights.

He returned to the bed, and looked at her.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked, and he wrapped the blanket around her.

"Not really. I think it's helping me a bit." She laughed nervously.

"Ben, I'm still on my period but I think we're secure since the flow isn't strong by now, and I just want to feel you all over me. Let's just go with it I guess? We can't plan every part right?" She said, he could feel her pulsing with emotion.

"Yes. Yes, of course." He said staring straight into her eyes.

She didn't mind him focusing on her. He smiled fully, and he felt his cheeks redden.

"Ben, may I kiss you?" She said inching towards him, and wrapping the blanket around both of them.

"Yes. Thank you. " She chuckled then started kissing him slowly. Relishing his lips. Tracing the outline. Asking permission to breach with her tongue. Twisting around each other.

He couldn't help it. "I'll touch you all over Rey. I want to feel you."

She nodded. Not much breath to spare for a few words.

His hand searched for the clasp of the bralette, and he struggled to get it off.

"Off?" He asked her and with her glazed eyes she unhooked it.

He slid it off her and laid it down beside them.

He glided his hands downwards to her hips, kneading her hip bones in a circular motion with his thumbs.

One hand he brought to her ample breasts. Not too big. Not too small. Enough that he could cover fully.

He leaned down and kissed her breasts lightly.

He wondered if he should…

But decided not to.

He kissed his way up and inhaled her mouth again, and sought her tongue. He mirrored the circular motion of his hand on her breast on his tongue and sucked on her bottom lip.

He heard her groan, and she guided his hands to her clitoris.

This is intoxicating.

Without the barrier of external clothing, he could feel her warmth so quickly. Her whole body almost fizzing with anticipation. 

She glided one hand to his shoulder and kneaded him while he massaged her breasts.

He remembered to move his hands along her clitoris, and her hand pushed him to continue.

She came up for air, and said "Please Ben, continue. Go. Please touch me more."

He traced her labia majora, then found her labia minora. He searched upwards, and heard her whimper.

"Oh please Rey. Please." He said while he placed his mouth over hers again. He traced the roof of her mouth with his tongue, and she hummed ever so softly. He could feel the vibrations travel to his mouth, and it was heavenly.

Trusting his hand with her clitoris, she reached out to his boxer covered penis, and glided her hands slowly.

"Ah." He released her mouth. She took it as an opportunity to kiss his neck and bite him gently.

He let out a groan so loud that she laughed.

He mirrored the motion, and bit her gently on the space connecting her neck and shoulder. He proceeded to suck on it, and it elicted a heady sound from Rey.

She moved closer to straddle him.

Cloth on cloth. Yet the wetness of her met his hardness.

Ben felt fear and he stopped all movement.

"Ben. It's okay. I'll tell you where to touch me okay?" She whispered. Her voice now raspy with pleasure.

"Okay Rey. Where?" His own almost sounded deeper.

"My bum." She breathed out.

He moved both his hands to her bum, and squeezed.

"Pull me closer." She said in a whisper.

He followed.

"I'll move now." She declared and began moving her warm self over his.

He continued to support her, and held her closer. His head rested on her shoulder. 

He focused on the sensation of her smooth legs over his. He longed to drag his hands all over her. Curious to know how different they were yet similar.

Her legs moved to fully cross on his back, almost leaving no space between them.

He could feel her hardening nipples against his chest, and he could feel himself nearing completion.

"Rey. I'm..." He said, the struggle evident in his voice.

"Yes. I am too." She looked up. Still holding onto his shoulders she kissed him while making her movements faster.

He heard himself whimper as well, and it was as deafening as the sounds of her desire.

He felt her moan, and she shivered a little, and he followed. He could feel their liquid warmth over their bodies.

If this is what it felt with just their underwear, he imagined it would be glorious without it.

She kissed his neck then his mouth so softly and smiled.

"I think we need to wash a bit. I'm gonna need to change my napkin." She giggled and gave him a tight squeeze before letting go.

He watched her bare back go to the toilet and he moved to go to his bedroom to get a change of boxers and clean up.

When he came back, Rey had folded their sleep shirts and her bralette on the bedside table.

"Are you okay with sleeping with me like this?" She asked.

"If you're okay, then I'll be okay." He said, tucking both of them in her bed.

Her designated bed for now.

She kissed him lightly, and snuggled towards him.

They whispered their I love you-s for the night, and settled into trying to fall asleep.

Her weight comforted him, and he didn't miss his weighted blanket at all.

\---

Rey stirred first.

He was so gentle, and she knew that surely she would be ready soon.

Thankfully, no nightmares.

She thanked the force for the grace.

Her head was on his chest and his arms enveloped her body.

Her bare breasts were cold but she didn't mind and just lifted the blanket closer to them.

Ben felt calm, and he was still snoring softly.

She glanced at the clock to see it was 8:30am. Still quite early for a Sunday.

She ventured to trace the contours on Ben's body.

He was built really well, and she wanted to thank his trainer by name.

She massaged his arms, and he stirred a bit.

His eyelashes flickered open, and he smiled his small soft smile.

"Good morning." She whispered and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Good morning to you too." His voice gravelly from waking up.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" Rey said.

"I have overnight oats I prepared in advanced but if you want something less healthy, I am willing to provide." He whispered.

She wondered at the intimacy of the situation. She wanted to wake with him everyday.

If only the thoughts brought bravery with it.

"I think I want some eggs and some pancakes. Do you happen to have milk and flour?"

"Yeah. That can be arranged. I can make them." He said, clutching her closer and loosening the strands of her hair.

It gave her shivers when he massaged her scalp.

"Are we going to get up?" Rey laughed.

"For the first time in my life, I kind of don't want to…" Ben said.

He closed his eyes and she did as well.

Their breathing fell in sync, and she breathed him in.

She wanted to remember this. His skin on hers. The smell of Ben with hers.

Then, their stomachs betrayed them with a rumble.

They both groaned.

"Okay, Ben. When I count to three, let's stand up and get dressed." She counted and he pulled Ben up with her.

He raked his hands through his hair and fluffed it a bit. His curls sticking out everywhere.

"Is it bad that I don't want to give you back your shirt?" Rey smiled.

"I think it's gonna be too cold though. You should wear yours too. There's rain in the forecast for the weekend." He said, his brows furrowing in worry.

Rey reached to smoothen the crinkle in his brow and smiled.

She dressed and moved to go the toilet to gargle.

Ben waited for her and took her hand to lead her to the kitchen.

When they reached the kitchen, he kissed her forehead, and she stopped in her tracks once she turned.

"Well, good morning to both of you." Han said, sipping his coffee.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't too cringey. Haha!
> 
> Please be kind.
> 
> If it wasn't already obvious, I'm very... Inexperienced so to speak. Hopefully I'll improve in the future.
> 
> What is Han up to? How in the world did he end up in Ben's kitchen at 9am?


	15. Chapter 15 - Canon (music) is a contrapuntal (counterpoint-based) compositional technique that employs a melody with one or more imitations of the melody played after a given duration (e.g., quarter rest, one measure, etc.).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han meets Rey.
> 
> What happens now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little plot if you squint.
> 
> Haha
> 
> Thanks for reading this far. I'm amazed that I managed to finish something today.
> 
> I'm pretty messed up, but this has been helping me cope a bit.

Chapter 15

Ben adjusted his eyes and stared blinking at his father, who was apparently seated at his kitchen bar.

"Pops. When did you get in?" Ben's face heated and put his arm firmly around Rey.

"Well, if you've been checking your messages, you would have found out that your Uncle Luke had to go out of the city last night, and he asked Belle to take me inside your rooms this morning at 6am." Han said calmly folding his hands around his coffee cup.

He realized he hadn't been paying attention to his phone since he and Rey were  _ busy _ .

"So, this young lady is?" Han continued.

He felt Rey move forward, and she proceeded to extend a hand, "Good morning Mr. Solo. I'm Rey."

"Nice to meet you, Rey. Please call me Han. Or Dad. Whichever you prefer." He said, giving her his winning smile.

Ben shook his head in disbelief and gave a small laugh.

Han smiled at him, and his gaze softened a bit.

Han gestured for Rey to sit beside him, and Ben moved to prepare breakfast.

"He's going to make us pancakes. Shall I slice us some fruit?" Rey said, visibly trying to get her hands to stop fidgeting.

"That would be great Rey. Do you guys have mangoes?"

"Yes. I think I'll slice up some apples too so we can snack while waiting."

Trusting Rey with the fruit, Ben measured out his ingredients and started stirring the batter.

He heard Han asking Rey about her work and family.

He comforted her when she got to the part about missing Layla, and told him that Obi was still around until today, and that they should meet up for a round of golf if they were free.

Ben once again felt that Rey could easily belong to his family.

He smiled at the thought and prepared the griddle.

He focused on getting the pancakes to be exactly 6 inches in diameter like his mom used to make, and he sprinkled some cheese in his and his Dad's.

He'll have to check if Rey wanted that.

He proceeded to fry up two eggs for each of them and found bacon waiting in the refrigerator.

Ben will have to triple whatever Belle was receiving.

He fried the bacon up to a crisp, and moved to serve.

Pancakes with cheese for him and his dad, and plain pancakes for Rey.

A plate of eggs and bacon on the side.

He found the syrup and drizzled it carefully.

He heard Rey laugh loudly, and it warmed his heart.

He served them at the bar, since he knew that Rey preferred to eat there.

Rey smiled up at him, and groaned in excitement.

"It looks so good!"

"We can always fry up more pancakes if you want them. I'm keeping the griddle warm." He sat and started slicing his pancakes and the cheese oozed out.

He smiled at its perfection and gave the first bite to Rey.

"Ooooh why doesn't mine have that?" Rey said, covering her mouth while speaking.

"I didn't know if you'd like it. I like the balance between savory and sweet too." He said before popping one in his mouth.

"Well, let's go half, then you can fry up some more if we're still hungry." She said, cutting her pancakes perfectly in half and getting half of his.

Han observed the two of them quietly, enjoying his pancakes, his face appearing pensive.

"So Rey, you're from UNO?" Han asked between bites

"Yes, sir. I'm an architect there."

"She's the new partner, Dad. She was recommended by Kenobi."

"I see. I see. Pretty and smart. No sirs. Just call me Dad. I'm pretty sure this is going somewhere good, you know." He said, lightly nudging Rey on the side.

She let out a chuckle, and continued eating.

"So Dad, what brings you here?" Ben asked.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, and I wanted to catch up with Luke and Chewie too. It's getting too cold in the US, and they said that it would be best to stay here until January."

"Oh. I'm sorry Dad. I haven't been calling. A lot has happened." He was too focused on other matters. Leia usually initiated so he never forgot.

He felt guilty but he never knew how to start a conversation with Han.

"Yeah, your uncle kind of told me a little bit of everything." He said, looking at Rey quietly munching on her bacon.

"Are you both doing okay?" He pointed his fork to Rey.

Rey startled, and said, "Yes. Thank you for asking. Ben has been taking good care of me, and Engr. Luke and Architect have been very supportive so far."

He then proceeded to point his fork to Ben, and he answered, "Yes. I think I'm doing okay. Rey has been a big help in the culture adjustment, and Belle who you've met has been helping me greatly with the matters at the office. So far, I'm having an interesting time, and there are a lot of opportunities here. I think the company will be in good hands soon."

"Okay. So what are you to lovebirds going to do today? If you don't mind me staying here for a while, I'll just wait for your Uncle to collect me at lunch." Han said, finishing his second cup of coffee.

_ It was a wonder that he had caffeine in his pantry anyway… _

_ What is the point of having a coffee machine in a home wherein the owner doesn't drink caffeine? _

A cough came from Rey, and she looked to him for help, and he shook his head. "I don't know Dad. We were just going to stay in and watch movies but…" he looked back at Rey, and she continued, "We could go out to tour the area a bit, so you could get some much needed sunlight." She smiled, and it was Rey's tour guide smile.

\---

The trio went down, and since it was Sunday, they decided to visit the market nearby the UNO headquarters.

It was nearing lunch time, and people were either buying ingredients or buying lunch.

The parking lot was packed with people, and Ben could smell so many things.

Barbeques, shawarma, pasta, fish, among other smells filled the air.

They just had breakfast, but he was suddenly excited to look for some good ingredients.

Ben was following behind Rey and his father, and he was happy to see them get along.

Rey had wrapped her arms around his dad's, and they were conversing like father and child.

He could hear his stories of suppliers of what it's like for construction in the US, and he could almost laugh to himself.

Carpentry was his father's obsession, and he gets worked up just talking about it.

Rey showed a stall where she knew the owner. They were selling traditional woodwork pieces made of hardwood.

"Do you see this darkwood Ben? It's called "kamagong." Touch it." She gave him a salad bowl to hold.

"It's cold. That's so odd." The sweltering heat was upon them, but the bowl stayed cool.

"It's pretty good for salads. I have three of my own." She winked, and he was convinced. He bought one large one for his place.

His father was enamored with the furniture. The carving on the stools were intricate, and he could practically see him emanating enthusiasm while conversing with the owner.

He took the owners number, and told them that he would contact them for a commission, and bought a small wooden jewelry box.

Ben lifted an eyebrow, but kept quiet.

He remembered his mom complaining about her jewelry box getting old, and was thinking of getting it fixed. It was an heirloom.

Rey bought Ben a woven bag for his groceries, and the owner assured him it was sturdy. The bag could carry heavy things and was comfortable to the shoulder, and he saw himself using it for his grocery adventures.

"It's called a bayong." Rey said while hooking it up to his shoulder.

"Bay-ong?"

"No. Ba-yong. Long a like battery and the o is like the o in younger."

"Bayong."

"There. You got it." She beamed. Rey looked best under the sun.

She absorbed it, and her freckles seem to make her even more breathtaking.

She found a place that was selling something called "suman" and was conversing in Tagalog with the proprietor.

They seem to know each other as well, and Ben looked on with fondness.

"You love her. Don't you kid?" Han said, Ben positively startled from his sudden appearance.

"Yes, I do. She loves me too, Dad. It's unbelievable but she does."

"What do you plan to do about it?" Han said, watching her taste test something and her face brightening up with joy.

"I don't know if I'm crazy dad, but I think I want to marry her."

_ Soon. What was the point in waiting if he was this sure? _

_ But Rey... _

"Then, do it. Isn't that what's important? You love her, and she loves you. Some people get married for less, but you both have more to offer."

"What about the Studio? What about Hux? Am I just going to leave him there?"

"Ah. The distance."

"Yes, dad. I don't want to force her to come with me. She has a life here. She's a new partner. She makes UNO better. Uncle Luke and Chewie love her. Everyone loves her. I can't just take her away from here. She loves the people here."

"She loves you too. She won't abandon it. If anyone can find a way to make an east to west relationship work, it's the both of you. You're both very smart and creative, and I'm sure both of you can think of something to help the businesses you're in flourish."

"The world doesn't have east or west. It's just relative."

"Yes, Ben, and that makes the world seem smaller too. You found each other, isn't that a feat of itself? She told me her story, and from what I gathered with Luke as well, she's a strong girl. But, you have to let her know she's not alone anymore." Han gave his son a good one armed hug, and shoved him towards Rey.

Rey smiled and gave him a small bit of suman.

He opened his mouth and chewed.

"It's sweet. What is it though? It's so chewy."

The old lady selling smiled, "I'm Tiya Ole and my mother learned this from her mother. It's made of glutinous rice that is pounded. I mixed some dried mangoes and some nuts inside to make it more interesting. Here try the Ube one."

She fed him a violet colored one, and it tasted odd but good.

"It's sweet but earthy almost. What is Ube?"

"It's a type of root crop. It's color is violet and Ube is violet in Filipino."

"Your lovely  _ Mahal _ here bought the lot, so be sure to come back if you enjoyed it." She winked at Rey, then smiled at Ben.

"Yes. I'm Ben by the way. Thank you ma'am."

"Ah call me Tiyang." She said, giving his forearm a good squeeze.

No light touches with this one.

"Chang." He tested.

"Good. Good. Thank you, Rey. She's such a good kid. You're lucky too Rey. You found yourself a handsome one." She gave one last pinch to Ben's forearm when Rey said her goodbyes.

She waved at them as they ventured to find other things to eat.

Ben took the bags from Rey, and placed it in his bayong.

Rey found his hand, and led him to a vegetable seller she knew.

They bought some ingredients for some vegetable soup, and he remembered that he had some meat marinating in the fridge.

When she was gathering some potatoes, Ben couldn’t stop his curiosity.

“Rey, what does “Mahal” mean?”

“It means “love” like the english word it can be used as a term of endearment as well as a verb.”

“How do you tell someone you love them?”

“Mahal kita.” She looked to him then turned away, blushing and gave the seller the potatoes to weigh.

“Mahal kita.” He smiled as well.

“Awww. You two are sweet, yes? Would you like to buy some sweet potatoes?” The young man joked, and Rey laughed.

\---

Han found a seat that was near a stand fan, and he was glistening with sweat.

"Are you okay…?" Rey stopped herself, struggling with the word Dad.

She hasn't said the word in years but she knew that she and Ben weren't temporary.

It was surreal, but it comes with its own set of problems...

...Problems that have no space in her mind, for now.

"Yes. I'm fine." He said, drinking from a bottle of cool water and grabbing a bottle of coconut juice.

She prepared some paper plates, and served up the grilled fish and samosas she bought.

An odd pairing, she thought to herself.

Ben's cheeks were getting rosey, and she found it endearing. 

She stuck a cold water bottle to his cheek, and he smiled.

"Thanks." Ben cradling the bottle against his face.

"It always gets warm before a rainshower. I brought two umbrellas. If I had known that you both would get so burnt, I would have asked you to use it." Rey said biting into a samosa.

She gave Ben a quarter of the grilled fish, and it was a fillet of some sort. There were no bones, and it was filled with tomatoes, onions, and cilantro.

She watched his face as he tasted it, and she smiled.

He enjoyed it.

Han seemed to like it as well, their faces almost identical in their pleasure.

"I see the resemblance now."

"Ben is a good balance of Leia and me."

"Yes, he is."

"Have you ever been to the US, Rey?"

"Unfortunately, no. I've been back and forth between the UK and here, and work is priority so I've never been much of a tourist traveler. Even here, there are so many places I want to visit. It's pretty beautiful."

"Has Ben introduced you to Leia yet?"

She looked to Ben, and Ben answered for her, "Not yet Dad but Mom knows about her. She calls me a lot, and I'm sorry I haven't been updating you. I feel bad about it."

"No worries. I haven't spoken to your mom since the divorce, and I've only been hearing things from Luke. She's a strong woman, and she doesn't need my shit bothering her."

He said, finishing the food in front of him.

Rey saw Luke approaching, and he too was turning a rosey hue.

Ben and Rey stood up to greet him, and it was still felt a bit odd for Luke to be kissing her cheek.

Luke and Han stared each other down and gave each other a handshake then a hug.

"Man, can't say I didn't miss you."

"Same here."

"I left most of my stuff in the lobby so I don't have to bother the both of you. I'll just catch up with Luke and you kids could go on ahead." Han smirked, and leaned in to give Rey a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It was nice meeting you, kid. I'm sure we'll have a good time talking when I next see you. Don't be a stranger, and if you and Ben have problems, don't hesitate." He gave her a pat on the back, and she watched the two men take the umbrella and go back to UNO.

"Should we go somewhere else since we're already out?" Ben asked, clasping his hands in hers.

"Oh, I forgot. I was going to pick up a book I ordered. Are you okay? You have all the groceries...and a salad bowl." She chuckled.

"I'll be fine. It's near the mall complex right?"

"Yes. Okay. Wait." She took the groceries from Ben, and set it down on the table.

She took a microfiber towel and wiped his face, and proceeded to put it behind his back.

"I always have one in my bag since it gets really humid." She tapped his back, and gave him back the groceries.

Ben gave her his small smile and kissed her forehead in thanks.

He took her hand, and they made their way to the bookstore.

\---

Rey slept over that night, and Ben had graciously provided her with work clothes.

It suited her aesthetic, and she knew she had Belle to thank.

It was a flowy white blouse paired with a strong cut pant, and she smiled.

It felt kind but firm, like her.

Ben smiled at her as she regarded herself in the mirror, and gave her a hug. He kissed her neck lovingly and squeezed her waist.

"I don't want to share you yet."

"I don't want to either but we have work to do."

"Yes." Ben burrowed his head in her neck, breathing her in deeply.

She started a laugh.

"Ben, that tickles."

"Oh sorry." He gave her neck one last kiss, and left her to do what she had to do.

She checked her neck one last time, and thanked Belle for choosing a blouse with a high collar.

She felt that Ben was unlocked by their recent endeavors.

He was getting sweeter and a little bolder.

She had left her mark on him as well, and it provided a thrill she hadn't experienced before.

She offered to cover his up as well, but he said he didn't mind.

It gave her confidence to face the day.

She was going to train her junior architects well, and she was going to finalize her decisions about Ben.

She needed to make choices about her future with Ben in mind.

She was no longer alone, and that made her smile.

\---

Rey was beautiful that morning, and when they walked in the office hand in hand, they got a little cheer from Belle and Rita.

Ben felt Rey squeeze her hand and waved goodbye as she went to greet Chewie.

Belle filled him in on his schedule for the day, and he was glad to oblige. He felt victorious.

He often felt that way after he was with Rey, like he was unconquerable.

Belle took note of this with her small smile, but she still maintained a professional calm about her.

He could only imagine what she was thinking about.

He was taken from meeting to meeting, getting introduced to clients as the acquisition was making their way.

It was exhausting but it felt good to know that there was a light at the end of today's tunnel.

He felt light, and he felt like his work had purpose once again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter.
> 
> 5 more chapters to go!
> 
> I'll see if I can finish organically that way but yeah I don't think I need to up the chapter count...for now.
> 
> I miss them already, and I'm going to be playing in this world for a few more weeks.
> 
> *Sigh*
> 
> I got a Tumblr by the way. Look for me at conflictedparadox88.
> 
> (No idea how to link)
> 
> Some food and non-food notes:  
> Bayong - it's a woven bag that uses leaves of different kinds. There are also rattan ones (but I think those are much more expensive and durable).  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayong
> 
> Suman - it's sticky rice cake. There are so many types, and it's not as smooth as mochi most times (unless the maker is really tenacious). It's made in a similar way, wherein it is either mixed or pounded.
> 
> My grandma used to hand make them but unfortunately she wasn't able to leave that knowledge with me.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suman_(food)
> 
> Ube is a type of root crop. I think it's also called purple yam.
> 
> It's kinda like a sweet potato but it's violet in color. It's a sweet dish (I know we Filipinos love our carbohydrates. Sweet Potatoes and rice our one of our plenty crops) and typically made with sugar, condensed milk, and butter and beaten to a pulp or smooth consistency.
> 
> I have experienced making ube, and damn it was hard guys. My cousin and I kept switching with each other, but the result was all the more sweeter.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dioscorea_alata


	16. Not a chapter - An apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter. I'm very sorry.

Hello to anyone who is still reading!

This is just a placeholder. I apologise for not being able to update this.

Truthfully, the reason I got stumped was because I got overwhelmed with how to write their first time having sexual intercourse. I started writing in general to let myself be, and such but I realize it's proving difficult for me.

I want to continue this, and maybe in the future when I could actually write a love scene, I'll insert it, but friends I'm sorry.

I don't think I could do it in the near future. I might write something vague. I'll try to end this fic nicely but I don't know. I might need to rewrite it some day.

This fic is so near and dear to me because I'm pushing my psychiatrist to help me get an autism diagnosis. I have OCD like I mentioned before but as I read more into the autism spectrum, I feel like it shows a part of me.

If I do end up not getting diagnosed, at least I tried.

My mental health has also been in decline, and I made a Twitter fic (about knitting!). Yet, I deleted my twitter a few days ago because I'm really slowly descending.

That fic is currently still being edited. I didn't realize it was so long since I wrote of stream of consciousness on Twitter without any planning of any sort. I'm try to find time to edit all these.

Thankfully, now I feel a bit better. I'll try (note: try) to updated this fic and the knitting fic by next week.

I just want to finish this fic too because I want to see how Rey and Ben hold up.

I love these two to bits and gosh I want to give them my happily ever after.

Hope everybody is well. Apologies for this is not a chapter.

Sending all of you my love.

Thank you!


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